


Helpless

by Underthegallowws



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Also drunk idiots at some points, Angsty at some points, Friendship, Hamilton Lyrics, Hamilton References, Hidden Relationship, Hilarity Ensues, I don't know how to tag this, Kind of a Kissing Booth AU but without the Kissing Booth, Liam is Mason's best friend, M/M, Secret Relationship, TW: homophobic slur, Theo is Mason's adopted brother, and Theo falls in love, but Liam is ridiculous, but also kind of painful, just one, just one too, tw:homophobic act
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:55:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 44,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27540364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Underthegallowws/pseuds/Underthegallowws
Summary: Everything happens for a reason, Liam’s mother often told him. Nothing is a coincidence.Liam and Mason have been best friends since the day they were born. The rules are a natural consequence of that. Most of them are easy to follow, but when Liam sees Theo, Mason’s adoptive brother, shirtless in the Hewitt's pool a few days before Junior year, he is faced with the hardest rule of them all.Rule number nine : Never, ever, fall in love with my brother.
Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken
Comments: 18
Kudos: 81
Collections: Thiam Big Bang 2020 Collection





	1. My heart went "boom"

**Author's Note:**

  * For [manonisamelon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/manonisamelon/gifts).



> Note : So, first thing first: Please read the following trigger warnings carefully : Sex talk, Alcohol consumption, occasional alcohol abuse, homophobic act (yes, just one), homophobia (one scene).  
> Now, for the fun part : this whole thing started when I thought I had an adventure with Manon’s brother. Like, for real. Then, it spiraled about Thiam, and about The Kissing Booth. I didn’t like the movie, but I liked the idea behind it (the hidden relationship) and I thought I could write a short story about it. Well as it happened, and as Liam is about to understand it in this fic, you can’t plan what comes from a place of passion, and love. More than 44k words later, I had the biggest story I had ever written, and this is the result.  
> Manon agreed to be my partner for this fic, which means you can find amazing art here (https://manonisamelon.tumblr.com/post/634701028387897344/for-the-officialthiamlibrary-2020-big-bang). You have no idea how everything she did changed the story. Our spirals, and her art, created new scenes, and make this story extra special to me. Give her some love !  
> I’ll end with a small note: Thank you to everyone who spiraled with us that night. Thank you to Manon for being so excited about this, and sharing her thoughts and feelings along the way. It helped a lot, and made me want to write so much ! Thanks also to Team Theo, on the OTL discord, for all the sprints we did during the first week of September, that lead to this. Special thanks to Tara and Tabby for the encouragements, and for saying I had this (I panicked a lot). Thanks to Janna for beta reading all this mess. And thanks to you, who is reading this.  
> I hope you’ll find in this story what I found while writing it : friendship, love, some angst, and mostly fun. I might turn this into a series one day, because… who knows?  
> Stay safe, and take care.  
> Love,  
> M.

_Everything happens for a reason, Liam’s mother often told him. Nothing is a coincidence. Things happen because the world wants you to experience its glory._

_Well, Liam was not so sure about this anymore._

* * *

Liam’s mother, Jenna, had found her soulmate during her first day at kindergarten. The little girl's name was Louise. She had been nice, funny and smart. Louise and Jenna had been through primary school, high school, and college side by side. Then, they had both fallen in love - with different guys, thank god -, and when Jenna had announced her pregnancy to Louise, she was not the least bit surprised the woman was expecting too.

As best friends sometimes had the chance to do, both women had lived this special moment of their lives together, sharing the up and downs of being a pregnant woman in the small town of Beacon Hills. And when Jenna had to be rushed to the hospital, she had laughed at the sight of Louise already waiting in the room next to hers.

Mason Billy Hewitt, and Liam Eugene Dunbar were born on the same day, a glorious 3rd of May, at exactly 4:12 and 4:19 in the morning, which meant that, for the rest of their lives, Mason would insist he was the older one, and therefore, the wiser. 

Both kids had grown up together, mirroring their mothers, sharing toys and playgrounds. Louise had been there, the day Liam’s dad left for good, after sending his fist one last time into Jenna’s jaw. Jenna had been there, when Louise had suffered a miscarriage and learnt that she would never be able to carry a child again. 

Mason and Liam became little boys, and the whole town got used to the sight of them, always joined by the hip, whether they were climbing a tree, making a story up, invading a garden, or just napping side by side. 

Which brings us to the amazing year 2016, and the summer holidays drawing to an end. Beacon Hills always had a great summer, according to people who lived there, and Liam was tempted to agree, as he was sunbathing near Mason’s pool, eyes closed, the warmth of the day all around him. The previous year had been … difficult to say the least, and the glorious period of July and August was coming to an end, which meant that school was coming back to bite him in the ass.

Next to him, Mason was on one of the long chairs, reading a book from the list their English teacher had given them. Seriously, the guy needed to relax a little, because who would read To Catch A Mockingbird for the third time, especially as a summer homework ? Liam understood that it was a classic, and that it was apparently still relevant today, but he didn’t get the hype, if his teacher’s passion could be called a _hype._

Liam’s thoughts about literature were interrupted by the noise of someone running, and then, by the effect of a million of small drops of cold water against his skin. He sat up, letting a small surprised scream escape his lips, and he looked for the perpetrator of this awful act.

A few meters from him, standing in the large and beautiful pool, Theo was smirking. 

Oh, Theo Raeken. A sad story, really. A few years after Liam’s dad left, all the Raeken’s family had a car accident on one winter night, a few miles from their house. Both parents, and Theo’s big sister died, but the small boy did not sustain any permanent injury. At least, that’s what Liam thought, and looking at Theo’s body, emerging from the water…

Yeah, clearly, Theodore Raeken was in a perfect physical condition. He wasn’t part of the Lacrosse team, but Liam had seen him at the gym more often than not, and if it weren’t for sports, then he probably maintained his muscles for the girls and the boys ogling at him.

Which Liam was absolutely not doing, hidden behind his sunglasses. It was perfectly normal to stare at the person who just jumped into a pool and drenched you in chlorine water, thank you. And if the guy in question had a freaking six pack, amazing eyes and a very charming smile, then… It was just a bonus.

Liam remembered perfectly well the day Louise had introduced him to the small boy. He was a year older than Liam, but hiding behind her, looking at everything with round eyes. She had explained the situation, had told Liam that Theo needed a house, and a family, and that, starting from now on, he would be her son. He never took the family name - an administrative question Liam never asked about - but nine year old Theo became Mason’s big brother. At first, their relationship had been a little bumpy, but both Hewitt boys finally warmed up to one another, and as of now, they had a lot of fun introducing themselves as brothers, and seeing the confusion in their interlocutor’s eyes. If both were good looking, it was pretty hard to imagine they would come from the same womb. 

And now, Liam was still looking at Theo, focusing on his perfect body, and thinking about how unfair life could be. The guy was hot, he had money, and he had Mason as a brother. Liam felt a pang of guilt at the idea. It was easy, sometimes, to forget about Theo’s tragic upbringing. Maybe because in the almost ten years they had known each other, Theo had never mentioned it.

“Oh, did I wake you up? I’m sorry.” Theo said, from the pool, his voice shamelessly mocking Liam.

“I wasn’t sleeping, you quack. I was thinking. You should try it sometimes.”

“What did you just say?”

Before Liam had time to blink, Theo used his arms to raise himself by the side of the pool, and jumped on the hot hard ground. In the next second, he grabbed Liam’s arm, and forced him to stand up. Liam tiptoed, trying to find his balance, only to be faced with Theo’s shit-eating grin.

“I think you got a little too hot, Dunbar.”

And, with a small push of the hand, he sent Liam into the pool, splashing Mason in the process, which didn’t seem to phase him for a bit as he only raised his middle finger towards his adoptive brother, engrossed by his book. Liam emerged from the water, his mouth wide open, still shocked by the difference in temperature. 

“Oh, you’re so on, Raeken.”

Theo smiled, and Liam couldn’t resist doing the same. Yeah, Louise and Jenna brought up three boys, mostly smart and full of life, and they did the best they could to help them figure life out. 

Everything happens for a reason, Jenna’s voice whispered into Liam’s mind. There are no coincidences in life, she sing-sang in his memories.

But Liam was too busy trying to throw Theo into the pool to really notice. That’s how it is, sometimes. You miss the exact moment things are starting to change, and then, for weeks on end, you try to pinpoint that second, that look, that smile, those words. 

_I think you got a little too hot, Dunbar._

Maybe Liam forgot about this sentence a little too fast. Maybe Theo had thought about how to turn the words a little too long. The thing is, their perfect balance of friendship, power, and family started to unravel on the 28th of August. Not that any of these boys would remember. After all, it was just another day. Or so they thought.

* * *

Liam hated going back to school. Every year was the same drill. His mother would be so excited, preparing a big breakfast for him, even though he didn’t feel like eating anything, and then she would insist on taking his picture in front of the house. Jenna had a whole album full of Liam’s first days. Kindergarten, the park, Disneyland, going camping… It felt like she was trying to hold on onto all the memories she could. 

But Liam loved his mother, so he played into her game perfectly, as always. He ate the pancakes, thanked her for his ready-to-go meal, and smiled when she tried to take his picture. 

“Hold on… The light is not good.”

“Mom”, he whined, as he saw Theo’s car approaching. “I really have to…”

“Smile now! Look happy! Junior year, my god. You got so big.”

Apparently, she succeeded in taking his picture somewhere between sobbing about how tall and smart he now was, and Liam pressed a quick kiss on her cheek before leaving the front of the house, jogging towards Theo’s car.

Theo being the oldest of the three of them, he had been the first one to get his driving licence, and the Hewitts were rich enough that they bought him a personal car as soon as he was sixteen.

Since then, both Liam and Mason had gotten their licence too, but Theo was still the one driving them to school every morning.

Liam popped into the back seat, and was met with a friendly smile from Mason, and a laugh from Theo.

“Did your mother really take a picture of your first day as a Junior ?”

“Shut up and drive.”

“No Rihanna before eight o’clock” Mason commented, while looking at his phone. “Liam, I know you didn’t want to take AP English but did you really have to take two different sports options ? I mean, according to the timetable…”

“You got the timetables ? How…”

“Little Corey hacked the school computer” Theo said, exchanging a long knowing look with Liam in the rear view mirror. “They text like… All the time.”

“We’re friends”, Mason replied quickly. 

“Friends who talk to each other until two in the morning. I couldn’t sleep Mason !”

“I don’t comment on the noises you make when you bring people home, Theo. At least I have the decency not to…”

Liam fell into the comfortable listening of the conversation, as the Hewitt boys commented on their dating habits. He still felt a pang of… something. Knowing that Mason was texting and calling Corey so much was weird. They used to do that, with each other, and now, someone else was taking a big place into Mason’s life. Obviously, Liam knew Mason was still his best friend, and he also was aware of the crush he had on Corey. Those were two very different relationships after all. He just needed to adapt.

“Oh my god ! I almost forgot !” Masons suddenly shouted.

He looked at this phone, linked to the car by a cable, scrolling and tapping, until a very well-known melody started, echoing in the whole car, and making Liam smile like the kid he used to be.

“Rule number 11…” He said, to which Mason answered with a laugh “... Always start the school year dancing the macarena !”

* * *

The rules were something they didn’t plan, but that they had grown into. It all started with Mason making Liam promise he would always be his best friend (Rule number one), to which Liam made him swear he would always share his sweets (Rule number two). With years passing by, and life going on, a certain number of more or less important rules were born, from Rule Number Five (always spend Wednesday afternoon together) to Rule Number Sixteen (if one of them loses three times at the same video game, the other has to insist on changing the game). The rules were mostly fun and happy ways to commemorate their friendship. Even Rule Number Nineteen (bros before hoes) had a nice ring to it.

While trying to dance while seated in the back of the car, Liam looked at Theo, who was acting like they were both idiots, but still smiling despite himself. With the rising sun on his left, coloring his face with a thousand of golden shades, he was… kind of breathtaking.

Which immediately reminded him of Rule Number Nine.

“ _Never ever ever fall in love with my brother_ ”.

* * *

As soon as he parked in front of the school, Theo took his backpack and jogged towards his friends. As long as Liam could remember, the oldest Hewitt had been part of the “in-crowd”. Despite his horrifying past, his good looks and his humor had helped him rise in the pyramid of school cliques. Theo was the popular one, and Mason was the smart one - even though Theo did have good grades in most of his classes. He just couldn’t rivalise with the best student in school, who happened to be his brother.

Liam… Liam was Mason’s geeky friend. Good at Lacrosse, enough for people to know his name, but mostly ignored. That was fine with him. He didn’t need other people to feel good. Mason had always been enough.

Mason… Who had already left the car to walk straight towards Corey, hugging him curtly. Interesting advancement. At this rhythm, they could, maybe, become an item before graduating. 

Liam sighed, took his backpack, and walked towards the entrance of the school as the bell started ringing.

* * *

“I don’t understand Mrs Morell. This isn’t my backpack.”

Liam eyed the bag, wondering how he could have just not seen that it was clearly not his. Fine, both bags were similar in height, and black, but his had an anarchy patch, which he had found awesome when he was fifteen, and this one was bland.

In front of him, the teacher was crossing her arms.

“It’s the first day of school and you’re already making a scene Liam.”

“I’m sorry ! It’s not my bag !”

“I just asked you to take your book. Take your book and…”

“But I can’t take my book if it’s not…”

“That’s detention, Liam.”

The teenager looked at his English teacher, mouth wide open. First day of school, and he already had gotten detention. That had to be a new record. Liam was no stranger to detentions, mostly because of some _behavioral_ problems, as they would say, but getting one before the end of the first day was unheard of. And his mother didn’t believe him when he said that Mrs Morell was after him.

He forced himself to stay silent, and took a piece of paper and a pen in the bag. It’s only when he saw the green hoodie inside that he finally understood what had happened.

That bag… That bag was Theo’s bag. Which meant Theo had taken his. 

He was going to kill the guy.

* * *

Theo found him at lunch, clearly upset.

“I got written up because I didn’t have my chemistry material ! First day !”

Liam raised his head, and glared at him from his seat.

“And I got detention. Do you want to trade ?”

That seemed to sober Theo up. He stopped in his tracks, and started scratching his head. 

“Did I… Was I the one…”

“Yeah, you sucker, you took my bag !”

Theo has the decency to look guilty for a second, before offering the bag he still had on his shoulder to Liam. 

* * *

“Seriously, Liam, how are you going to keep up with Lacrosse and the classes if you get detention every…”

“Mase, calm down. It’s just one detention. I didn’t even do anything wrong.”

The both of them were eating, Mason always buying more than he would eat, and Liam picking things off his tray, because he was a growing young man who could devour the whole buffet. Mason didn’t comment on the stealing of his fries, only looking inside Liam’s brown bag and taking the apple Jenna had prepared for him.

“Maybe Corey could hack into the system and…” Liam suddenly thought, between two bites, but Mason was quick to cut him off.

“Don’t bring Corey into this. Ugh. I guess that means no Mario Kart tonight.”

“Why would…”

“Your mom is going to ground you for sure.”

The fact that Mason knew his mother so well could be frightening if she wasn’t his godmother, and almost his aunt. Liam sighed, defeated.

“She is going to kill me.”

* * *

“Liam. Eugene. Dunbar. I’m going to _kill_ you.”

Long gone was the happy woman sobbing over his first day of school. From her ashes raised a really angry phoenix that was now pointing her finger at his phone.

“Consider yourself lucky I don’t take this. Detention. On the first day !”

“Theo took my bag !”

“And you couldn’t make sure you had the right one ?”

One of the things to know about Liam’s mother was that she always had to have the last word in the conversation. Which meant that the teenager knew when to keep quiet, and let the wave fall on him. He did his best to offer her an apologetic face, but she was still pretty pissed.

“First day of school Liam. First day of school.”

“Am I grounded ?”

Jenna only looked at him with a stern face.

* * *

Lacrosse had always been Liam’s favorite part of the day. The exercise, the camaraderie, being outside… It suited him. Even when the Coach thought that doing ten laps as a warming up was a good idea. 

In the bleachers, Mason was doing his homework, or at least pretending to, while looking quite frequently at one of Liam’s teammates. Corey didn’t seem to notice, and he was probably the only one who didn’t, which was terrible and hilarious at the same time. Liam played with the idea of actually telling him to go ask Mason out, but he was pretty sure things would go their way at their own time. Even if it meant seeing his best friend in love with an obtuse teenager. 

He finished his ninth lap, and started increasing his pace. From where he was, he could see a whole group of teenagers laughing near the parking. Some of them were smoking, and others seemed to be drinking what he hoped was soda. Running closer, he noticed Theo in the middle of the group. A girl had her arm around his waist, and was laughing whole-heartedly, probably at one of his jokes.

Liam felt immediately irritated at the sight. Did these guys really need to wait there ? Couldn’t they get lost or something like that ? There were probably a hundred places in Beacon Hills where they could have their little party and…

Theo seemed to notice him, and he threw his arm in the air, in the universal “hi” sign. Liam almost tripped, trying to say hi back.

That’s when the reality hit him. He realized three fundamental truths at the same time.

One, he really did have a crush on Theodore Raeken.

Two, Theodore Raeken was Mason’s older brother.

And three, Liam had vowed to never fall for Mason’s older brother.

Well, that sucked.

* * *

Later that night, Liam, who was still grounded, decided to do some research on Facebook. He didn’t really like the platform, and rarely went on. He opened his personal profile and winced at his own baby face. He hadn’t changed the picture since he joined, two years earlier. Mason’s arm was in the square, barely visible against his blue shirt. 

He opened Mason’s profile, and immediately smiled at the rigorous professional picture. Louise was probably the only mother in town who had engaged a photograph to get pictures of her boys.

Listed near Mason’s picture was his family, first his mother, and then, his brother. Holding his breath, Liam clicked on Theo’s name - written as Raeken-Hewitt.

Well, first of all, Theo didn’t choose the picture his mother paid for. And Liam kind of wished he had, because it was really hard to ignore how good looking he was, in a tight white shirt, with his glasses on, sitting on his truck. 

Theo was probably the kind of guy who had instagram, he thought. All his profile was full of beautiful filtered pictures, or pictures of his friends laughing. He also had a few pictures with Mason, and even one where Liam appeared in the background. He sometimes posted a quote, and had at least seventy people liking each one of his posts. 

“Popular”, Liam sighed, before closing the page.

What did he expect ?

* * *

“I. Am. So. Tired.” Mason groaned, his head against the window of Theo’s car. “Can we stop at ‘The Nemetea’?”

“You already had three cups of coffee”, Theo remarked, while still deviating towards the shop. “Your caffeine addiction is getting out of hand.”

“I wouldn’t need coffee if _someone_ hadn’t had company until one !”

“You can buy earplugs, you know ?”

“What’s the point of living in a villa if you two have rooms next to each other ?” Liam asked, from the backseat, before adding “Get me a cappuccino.”

“Mason didn’t want to be alone in the big bad house”, Theo answered, before adding “That’ll be four dollars, Liam.”

“I was ten, Theo. Ten ! Also, you’re paying for my drink as you’re the reason I need it.”

“And you’re paying mine as you’re the reason I got a detention.”

Theo slowed at the entrance of the 'Nemetea' drive in. He nodded slowly, and started looking for his wallet in his leather jacket.

“Fine, the twins. God, I can’t decide which one of you is the most annoying.”

Still. He ordered Liam’s cappuccino with extra foam, just like he loved it.

* * *

Liam usually slept until at least ten on Saturday mornings, so hearing his alarm go off at freaking seven o’clock didn’t help with his mood. In the kitchen, his mother had left him a note telling him that she didn’t have time to prepare anything, and to just get a bowl of cereal. Cereal. And not even his favorite, no, just a bland brand that only adults liked.

Liam knew that he had to take the bus, because, even though Mason loved him to death, he loved his beauty sleep more, and that none of his parents’ cars were parked in front of the house. He threw on his lacrosse hoodie, and left the place, locking it behind. He had time to walk for a few meters before the sky seemed to open, and rain started falling on him, soaking his clothes and making his shoes squishy.

“Freaking hell !”

The universe was apparently far from on his side, and he sighed, trying to gather whatever courage he had left. Then, in an unexpected turn of events, he heard a car coming towards him, and stopping in front of the driveway.

“Don’t stay there ! Come in, you idiot !”

Liam stared blankly at Theo, who had opened the window of his truck to shout. He was pretty sure the guy didn’t have any extracurricular activities on the weekend, and absolutely no reasons to come to his house, especially as Mason was not in the car either.

“Liam ! I know you are slow but…”

“Coming !” He heard himself answer, and ran to the car, opening the door as fast as possible and appreciating the warmth inside. He put his hands against the heater, before looking at Theo.

“What are you doing here ?”

“I have detention.” The older teenager only answered, before starting to drive, not even looking at Liam. 

“You have detention…” He repeated, still trying to warm his hands. “Why ?”

“You don’t want to know.”

Immediately, Liam remembered the girl, and how close she had seemed to Theo. He also couldn’t forget that the year before, Theo had gotten into trouble for being found with a guy, in the locker room, apparently talking about something that wasn’t _sports_ at all. Or, well, another kind of sport. 

“Did you bang someone at school again ?”

Theo floored the brakes and stopped the vehicle, before looking at Liam like he had a second head.

“I beg your pardon ?”

“I mean… I heard it happened before.”

“You think I… “ And then, he only shook his head, bewildered. There was something in his eyes, something that Liam had rarely seen, and that he didn’t know how to interpret. If Theo had really done it, then, then he didn’t seem to want to talk about it so… Liam switched the radio on, and the music slowly started, filling up the silence.

Theo muttered something, his hands on the wheel, but Liam couldn’t decipher it.

“Sorry ?”

“I said that if you want to listen to Hamilton, it’s on my USB.”

And there they went again, Liam mouth gaping at Theo, unable to accept what he just heard. Theo seemed to notice his absence of reaction, and he looked quickly at him, before adding “I know Mason and you love the soundtrack. I had to endure it all forty eight hours of last weekend.”

“Do you like it ?” Liam finally asked, switching the music to the USB, and letting the well-known melody sooth him.

“Hm. Not when Mason is the one singing Angelica’s parts.”

* * *

  
  


Detention was a boring thing. Students had to sit one per table, well spaced, and to work on something their teacher had provided. For Liam, who had been sent there by Mrs Morell, it was a short essay comparing English literature and American literature. He tried to focus on it, doing his best to write something that would satisfy said teacher, but his eyes always seemed to leave the blank page, and end up on Theo. 

The other boy didn’t seem to care for his homework, as he was currently drawing on a small white paper. Theo had always loved to draw, he remembered. He usually got new supplies at every single one of his birthdays, but Liam had never seen a single drawing. Maybe that was something Theo kept to himself. The teacher who was supposed to keep an eye on them was engrossed into a magazine that he thought well hidden behind a maths book, so Theo would probably face no repercussions.

Four hours of detention was a lot of time, and even as distracted as he was, Liam finished his work in less than three. He knew it was not worth it asking for the authorization to leave, so he closed his book, and let his head rest on his arms.

Theo had abandoned his drawing, and was now reading an AP biology book, and taking notes about something that clearly interested him, but that Liam would probably not understand in a million years. Loving biology was weird, but it was one of the things that made Theo who he was, and Liam was pretty sure none of his friends knew how good he actually was at it. The passion he had for the subject was not something he would talk about easily, but Liam had spent enough time at the Hewitt’s house to know about it. 

“Well, almost time, kids.”

Did Liam fall asleep ? Probably, because he felt the mark of his right hand against his cheek. He tried rubbing it, bringing some fresh blood on the skin, but to no avail. Then he threw the rest of his things into his bag and waited for the teacher to dismiss them. 

As soon as they were free, students fled the room, in a noisy concussion made of “have a great weekend” and “see you Monday asshole”. Liam was at the door when he suddenly felt a gaze on him. He turned, only to be faced with Theo, still sitting on his chair. He looked tired, but his face was brightened up by a small smile. 

“Hey. Where are you running to ?”

Liam readjusted the hem of his bag against his shoulder. 

“I have to take the bus ?”

“No, you don’t. I can bring you home.”

Theo started closing his book, and opening his own backpack.

“You really don’t have to…” Liam countered. 

“Come on, Li. You said it yourself, I’m responsible for you being here. Let me make it up to you by not letting you suffer a forty minutes bus ride.”

It did make sense, obviously, and Theo was still one of Liam’s friends, even if he was clearly unaware of how much Liam’s mind was missing the exact definition of friends since the day at the pool. But Liam couldn’t say no to the offer, so he waited for Theo to leave the room, and started walking next to him.

Outside, the sky was still a dark grey, but it had stopped raining. Theo looked at it, and the ghost of a memory passed on his face.

“What a pity.”

They walked to the truck in silence, Liam trying to keep himself from the cold, which was pretty abnormal for the first week of September in California. Inside the car, Theo switched the heaters on, and they started blowing comfortably, as Hamilton was still singing about his childhood.

Theo started driving, a little slower than usual, clearly taking into account the wet roads. Liam thought about something, anything to say, but he was not sure he would be able to repress from embarrassing himself, or worse, telling Theo how he felt about how his jacket really did hug his figure. 

And then, from nowhere, the rain started again, falling twice as hard on the car, making a horrible noise against the metallic roof. Liam looked by the window, dumbfounded by the sudden downpour. But Theo…

Theo looked like a child on Christmas Day. With confidence, he stopped the car on the side of the road, winked at Liam and… went outside. From where he was seated, Liam could see him slowly walking towards the middle of the street, getting soaked by the terrible weather. What was happening to him ?

Liam put his hood on, and exited the car, before running towards Theo.

“What the fuck are you doing ?”

Theo turned on himself to face him, his skin covered in droplets of rain, and his face full of glee.

“It’s raining Liam. It’s raining !”

And then, like a kid, he opened his arms and started twirling on himself. Liam looked at him, taking in how happy he suddenly seemed, and he felt something dissolve in himself. He couldn’t help but grin at the sight, grin at this almost man playing in the middle of the street.

“You are going to catch a freaking cold. We both are, actually.” He shouted to Theo, in order to be heard in the middle of the hurricane.

“I didn’t ask you to come outside”, Theo shouted back, still twirling. Then, he stopped right on his heels, and took a few steps towards Liam. “What are you doing here ?”

And that was a really good question, to which Liam probably should have the answer, but said answer died in his throat as Theo took a step closer, suddenly serious. “I know why I am here. But why are you ?”

Liam looked around him, and shivered from the cold water that was now cladding his hoodie against his skin. He tried not to look at Theo, not to look at these green eyes which rarely were as bright as they seemed at that moment, and especially not at his lips, rendered redder by the cold. 

Usual Theo was really beautiful. This Theo ? He was breathtaking.

“Why… Why are you here ?” He asked, trying to gain some leverage back, but his teeth clattered, and he probably looked nothing like Theo. As usually, and every single time he fumbled on words, he felt even a little less confident in himself.

Theo was still close, but a few meters from him. He looked fierce for a second, and Liam was almost expecting some kind of bravado answer, but he stared at Liam’s face for a long time, and slowly, his eyes became a little darker. He looked at his feet, kicking away an invisible ball, before saying, so softly that the rain made it hard to hear.

“I used to play in the rain when I was younger. With… With my sister.”

He looked up at Liam again, a fragile smile on his face.

“She loved it. The rain. She would have loved this storm.”

Maybe it was the place, or maybe it was the time. Maybe it was Theo, being so open, and soft, and talking about the only thing he always kept quiet. These words, these few words were like a gift offered to Liam when he expected nothing at all. He might be young, but he knew those kinds of memories were supposed to be cherished forever, and the fact that Theo was ready to share them with him…

He took a step towards Mason’s bigger brother, and brought his hand on Theo’s arm.

“Let’s play.”

And slowly, Liam started twirling on himself. He had never done it, not like this, not that he remembered. But he took the time to appreciate the cold droplets falling on his face, the wind against his skin, and the salt in the water falling on his lips. He could see Theo, a few feet from him, mirroring his circles, and without a second thought, he started to chuckle, only to be joined by Theo’s warm laugh.

When he finally decided to stop, the world continued moving around him, and he tried to keep upright, but felt like he was heading to the ground. Luckily for him, a hand reached for his biceps, and steadied him. 

He tried to look up to Theo, to thank him, only to find him close. Really close. Their bodies were almost touching, and Theo’s face was a breath away from him. He should probably have found something funny to say, or something witty, but Theo’s lips were mesmerizing, and he smelled like the expensive perfume he insisted on getting, the Hewitt laundry detergent, and something masculine.

It felt right, Liam decided.

Apparently, Theo decided the same thing, because he slowly let go of Liam’s arm, only to slide his hand against his back, bringing their bodies together. 

And if Liam was the first one to make the leap, and to kiss him, Theo made it up by being really invested in their situation. It didn’t stop raining, and they were both soaked to their underwear, but it didn’t seem to matter. As long as Theo’s lips were warm against his, and his face so cold under Liam's soft touches, and as long as he used his tongue to caress Liam’s, making him shiver a little bit more, he could go with it.

In fact, it was pretty much perfect.

* * *

They kissed for what felt like a long time, slowly discovering each other, Theo’s hand making its way all around Liam’s upper body, and the rain started to fall less heavily. Trying to take a breath, Liam let his forehead touch Theo’s, and he was faced with the million sparks in the green eyes he had learnt to love. He smiled, sheepishly. 

“That was…”

Theo didn’t say anything but he mirrored the grin, before bringing Liam closer, and kissing his forehead with affection.

“Yeah. That was.”

There was a silence, and both of them started laughing. And when their laughter evaporated, Theo took a step back.

“I should… Probably… Bring you home.”

“Yeah.” Liam answered, still in a daze. Theo shook his head, still smiling.

“You need a hot shower. Seriously.”

“You too.”

They had started walking towards the car, and Liam’s hand found Theo’s. He hesitated a second, but Theo did not, as he laced their fingers, like it was the most natural thing in the world. 

“Are you offering a shared shower ?” Theo asked, while opening the driver’s door. 

Liam swallowed, and looked at him, trying to figure out if the question was serious. The fact that he just kissed his best friend’s brother had not yet totally been accepted by his brain, and still, the idea that a hot guy was offering to join him in his own shower was more exciting than he ever thought it could be.

Thankfully, Theo started laughing again, ending Liam’s mind misery of thoughts.

“Breathe, Liam. I was kidding.”

He started driving, a small satisfied smile on his face, and Liam alternated between looking at him, and at the road. He could almost still feel Theo’s lips on his own, and the coldness of his clothes was not enough to keep him from blushing. Theo started humming along the song, while checking him out from the corner of his eyes.

They kissed.

_Oh. God no._

And suddenly, as fast as the satisfying feeling had set in his bones, his stomach started turning.

“No. No no no.” He whispered to himself.

Theo looked at him, some worry showing into his eyes.

“What, no ? That’s the road to…”

“No. I mean, rule number nine. Oh my god. No no no.”

“Rule number… Is it one of those things you have with Mason ?” Theo asked, slowing down the car, but Liam couldn’t look at him.

_Rule number nine : Never ever ever fall in love with my brother._

“Yes, it is. And it means that what we just did was really wrong and…”

“Didn’t feel wrong to me.”

“Well, it was.” Liam tried to explain, still avoiding Theo’s eyes. “We can’t… I can…”

The car stopped again, a few meters from his parent’s house. Theo lowered the radio, and tried to grip Liam’s arm, but the boy escaped, still looking out of the window.

“Seriously ? Liam ? You are not even going to…”

“I’m sorry Theo, but this is serious. I can’t…”

“You can’t kiss me because of some fucking rule you made up with my brother when you were… What ? Ten ?”

“Eleven. And not relevant.” Liam whispered, trying to open his door, before understanding that Theo had locked it. “Unlock…”

“Can we at least talk about it ?” Theo asked, his voice more reserved.

“Not a great idea. I should go. Let’s just forget…” Liam moved his hands around his face, his eyes still fixed on the front door. “Can I…”

“I’m not going to keep you prisoner in my car, Jesus. Calm down.”

Liam heard the unlocking of the doors, and immediately left the truck, running to the house, without looking behind. Once inside, he quickly said hello to his mother, before going straight to his room, and getting rid of his clothes. He needed a hot shower, and he needed it now. He felt almost dirty, thinking about the promise he made Mason, and the fact that it had been so easy to fall into Theo’s arms. it had been so easy to kiss him, again and again, and… It shouldn’t have felt so right. Because some things were not meant to be, and Theo was the only person he had ever promised not to fall for.

He waited for the water to warm up a little before going under the spray, and letting his body appreciate the hot water. But even after scrubbing himself clean from any residue of the morning, he couldn’t shake the memory of Theo’s lips against his own.

Theo, who would be taking him home on Monday morning, with Mason, like every single school day. He was so screwed.


	2. Watching the tension grow

Mason texted him Saturday afternoon, offering him to spend the night at his house. As normal as it could be, Liam didn’t really feel like facing his best friend so soon after his  _ moment _ with Theo. He pretended that his mother was still mad about the detention, and that he was trying to redeem himself by helping her with the chores, which he did, because it was a perfect way not to think about the whole situation.

Jenna seemed surprised, at first, but she welcomed the help with open arms, and they cleaned the house together, talking about Liam’s new classes, and Lacrosse. She offered him to invite Mason on Sunday, to which Liam had no excuses to refuse.

His best friend came, and they spent the afternoon playing video games, and watching TV, the both of them bantering about their current favorites on Survivor. If Liam was tense in the beginning, he soon fell into the comfort of having fun with Mason. Clearly, Theo had said nothing to his brother, and Liam wished he would keep it that way.

* * *

On Monday morning, Liam felt a knot in his stomach. He was ready earlier than usual, checking by the window for the arrival of Theo’s truck. 

“Is everything okay at school ?” Jenna asked, eying him suspiciously. 

“Yeah. Why ?” He answered, his eyes still lingering on the driveway. 

“You’re pretty pale, sweetie. And you look kind of afraid at the idea of going back.”

Jenna had always been good at discerning Liam’s moods, and he loved her for it, but also hated the fact that he couldn’t hide anything from her. He turned to her, and offered the best smile he could muster.

“I’m fine. Just thinking how much this year is gonna change everything.”

Saying the truth without revealing too much was an art, and Liam had become quite good at it. His mother was still eying him, but she seemed to buy his excuses. 

“Lots of decisions to make, right ?” She finally said. “If you have any doubts about your classes, you know that we can talk and…”

But Liam stood up, his eyes glued to  _ Mason _ ’s car, 

“Bye Mom !”

He grabbed his bag and jogged towards the berline. Mason greeted him, the music already playing.

“Hey.”

“Hi. Is Theo sick ?”

That had to be the explanation. Theo was always the one driving them, even when he started later in the day. And Liam knew perfectly well he would have a good reason to have caught a cold. He tried to focus on something else than what had happened on that Saturday morning, because he didn’t want to face Mason while thinking about Theo’s lips. That would be a bad idea. 

“Nah. He had to get one of his friends who totaled his car apparently. Told me to come get you and to go straight to school.”

“Oh, okay.”

“It gives me a chance to drive this sweet baby. Do you hear how good the sound is ? Way better than in his poor truck.”

“Yeah”, Liam answered, letting his neck fall against the headrest, while the radio sang “ _ Just you wait… Just you wait... _ ”.

* * *

The thing is, clearly, Theo did not talk about it with anyone, but he also decided not to give any sort of attention to Liam. Which would have been absolutely fine with him, if he wasn’t so unused to it. His path crossed Theo’s a few times during the day, and every single time, it seemed like the other teenager made every attempt not to look at him, acknowledge him, or even say hi.

Which became more and more suspicious as hours went by, because Mason seemed to notice. 

“Did you see Theo ? He is acting kind of weirdly.”

“Is he ?” Liam wondered out loud, his throat dry.

“Yeah, we passed him by earlier on and he didn’t even answer my  _ Ave Theo. _ He always does the whole Cesar latin thing _. _ ”

“That’s weird. Did you guys fight ?”

“No. Not that I know of. I didn’t even say anything when Tracy stayed the night. And trust me, they made a lot of noise.”

“She spent the night ?”

Liam felt a weight in his stomach, and it was not a good one. 

“Yeah, Saturday evening. That’s why I asked you to come. I didn’t want to be alone with them, and Mom was working.”

“Oh, yeah…”

So, apparently, Theo kissed him, and a few hours later, was already in the arms of a girl who had been notoriously crushing on him since first grade. Fine. Liam could accept it. After all, he was the one who said to Theo that whatever they had done, they should absolutely forget about it. Still. Liam would have never felt comfortable being with someone else on the same day. He didn’t even feel comfortable with this idea right now.

Mason was still eyeing Theo, who was at his locker, clearly entranced in a book.

Liam needed to talk to the guy. Otherwise, Mason would soon be on their trail.

* * *

“Pssst. Theo.”

Liam, hidden behind the bleachers, tried to get Theo’s attention. The older Hewitt was walking towards his car, and didn’t seem to notice him. With every second passing, he was getting further from Liam, which was not the plan. 

“THEO !”

A few people turned their head towards Liam, and he tried not to look guilty. No one knew, after all. He was just the guy’s brother’s best friend. No need to feel weird or anything. At least, his shouting did get Theo’s attention. The senior stopped in his tracks, and looked at him from afar.

“I need to talk to you”, Liam articulated slowly, hoping Theo was still good at reading on lips, a talent he had grown into, usually helpful to communicate when grown-ups were talking at the dinner table.

He could see the hesitation in Theo’s shoulders, but in the end, he seemed to decide to join him, walking slowly towards the stadium.

“What ?” He asked Liam, holding the shoulder strap of his bag.

“You’re acting weird.”

“I’m… Liam. You kissed me and then you told me you couldn’t because of a deal you made when you were like eight.”

“Eleven.”

Theo sighed, but didn’t comment. Liam tried to explain.

“Mase is getting worried about you. And that means he is going to start asking questions. And we don’t want those questions, right ?”

There was a spark of anger in Theo’s eyes.

“You, Liam, you don’t want those questions. I am not playing around.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I don’t want him to ask questions, so please, could you just like… Go back to normal ? Come to get me tomorrow morning. And stop ignoring me.”

“And why would I do that ?”

“Because you like Mason and you don’t want your brother to have to choose between you and his best friend ? Also, Mase is already stressed with school, and heads over heels for Corey and…”

“Fine. For Mason then.”

Theo didn’t even say goodbye, turning to go back to his car. As he was a few meters from the bleachers, Liam reminded him :

“Normal, Theo ! Please !”

Without looking at him, Theo raised his middle finger. 

* * *

On Tuesday morning, Theo’s car was waiting for him at the end of the driveway. Liam felt immediately relieved, as he walked towards the truck, his backpack swinging from his shoulder. He made sure not to put it near Theo’s, and was happily greeted by Mason.

“Did you do the geometry homework ?”

“I tried to.”

“What did you get for question nine ? “

_ Nine. Question Nine. Rule Nine. _

Liam’s mind seemed to fry for a second, as the vivid memory of him, freaking out exactly where Mason was seated, started to appear in front of his eyes. Why was he so focused on the one and only little mistake he ever did as a best friend ?

Exchanging a look with Theo in the mirror, he wondered if it was because it was not that small of a mistake.

* * *

Theo tried to act normal, Liam would give him that. He faked the smiles, the banter, but even the nicknames felt weird and out of place. He called Liam a dickhead twice in the same day, which never happened, as he usually had a very large insulting vocabulary.

Fortunately, Mason was focused on someone else, as apparently Corey had asked him to the cinema. Which was, according to the younger Hewitt, really huge on the scale of what Corey would do. Mason spent almost half the week looking at reviews, and critics, and explaining to Liam how choosing the perfect movie was an important part of a date. Liam liked to remind him that he did date before, and then Mason would alway draw the Hayden card, and explain to Liam that a love slash hate relationship was not a real one.

Looking at Theo, and full of conflicting feelings for the young man, Liam wondered if Mason was right about that.

* * *

On Friday evening, at exactly 10:23, Mason sent Liam a  _ 911  _ text, which led to a call, in which Liam learnt that Corey didn’t mean the cinema, but the ‘Sinema’, which was apparently a club, which made Mason panic. As the ability for Mason to relativise even the worst thing was well-known, a panicking Mason was an emergency, and even Jenna agreed with Liam when he explained that clearly, his best friend needed him. She gave him the keys to her car, making him promise to drive safely, and to text once he would be there.

Liam knew the road by heart, and he didn’t have to think while driving the vehicle through Beacon Hills’ poshest street. When he called Mason and Theo’s house a villa, there was no exaggeration in the estimation. The place was huge, had an English garden, seven bedrooms, six bathrooms, an entertaining room, and even a small projection place. 

He parked between Hewitt's Mercedes, and their Volvo, before turning off the motor, and silently leaving the car. He knocked at the door, even though he was pretty sure no one could hear him. He was about to open the door himself when someone seemed to notice his presence and walked towards the big entrance.

He was almost surprised to see Theo, home, and in comfortable sweatpants, on a Friday evening. According to what Liam knew, and basically what Mason told him, Theo was usually out, or with his friends when he did not have to go to school the next day. The senior was also wearing a worn-out hoodie with ‘Beacon Hills High School’ written in white letters.

“...Hi.” Liam whispered, suddenly very aware of the fact that he was still wearing his own sweatpants, and a ridiculous T-shirt, which Theo seemed to be looking at, and as he would have expected, provoked a smirk on the senior’s face. Liam crossed his arms over the ‘Do you !’ message.

“ _ Do you _ ?” Theo answered, in a mocking voice. “Is it a proposition ?”

“Shut up !” Liam whispered back, looking behind him. “Mason could hear you.”

“No, he won’t. He is in his room, trying to find the perfect outfit for his little outing. I told him a crop-top would be awesome, but apparently, my sense of style is lacking.”

“Your sense of hospitality too. Invite me in ?”.

Theo didn’t, but he took a step back to let Liam in, and closed the door behind them.

“When is Corey coming ?”

“In like an hour. The 'Sinema' doesn’t open until eleven.”

Liam stopped in the grand corridor, and faced Theo.

“You know the place ?”

Theo let his body rest against one of the walls, and smiled.

“Yes, I know the 'Sinema'. It’s a great place to dance, and meet people. You should try it sometimes. Except you probably can’t. Isn’t there a fucking rule in your book about stranger danger ?”

Liam scoffed, and crossed his arms.

“There isn’t and you know it perfectly well. You are the reason rule nine exists.”

“I’m still curious how it came into the conversation. You were ten. Was I already so hot that you had to have a rule about not jumping me ?”

“Gross, Theo. No.”

Liam hesitated. He didn’t really want to tell that story, because it could give Theo leverage, and at the point he was, information was a scarce thing he was trying to keep to himself. But the boy was still looking at him, and his eyes were curious, like he really did wonder about how two little boys could decide that one of their brothers was not fair game.

The junior traded a hand in his hair, messing it up even more than it already was. He noticed Theo’s eyes on focusing on his move, and he tried to contain the beating of his heart, which had no reason to start acting up, when he was only talking to his best friend’s brother. Alone. At night. In an empty room.

“We were ten. We were friends with Tracy. She only talked about you for like… A month. It was awful. Mason made me promise never to fall for you, because I was the only person in the world he didn’t want to have conversations about the color of your eyes with.”

Theo stared at him, a small smile at the corner of his lips.

“Cute.”

“What ?”

“The story. It’s cute.”

He left his place against the wall, and walked towards Liam, until he was close enough to raise his hand, and approach Liam’s hair. With care, and soft pushes, he tried to tame it. Liam could still smell the faint odor of perfume, but mostly it was a mix of soap and shampoo. It smelled good. Theo always seemed to smell good, and it was really not helping.

“There.” Theo shushed, before letting his hand fall on the side of his body. “Better.”

“Thank you.” Liam breathed out, his eyes lingering on Theo’s face, and, without thinking, on his lips.

“Liam…” Theo said in a slow, warning voice.

“Yes ?” He answered, a little too high-pitched.

“If you want to kiss me…”

“I don’t !’

“Whoa. At least you could try to sound convincing.”

“I’m convincing !”

Liam looked behind his shoulder, hoping Mason was not around, and when he turned his head to face Theo again, the senior was even closer than before. Liam had to hold his breath for a second, swallowing with difficulty. Theo’s eyes were inspecting his, like he was trying to read into his mind, or into his soul. He tried not to look away, not to look just a little bit lower, and Theo’s eyes were the first to switch to his mouth. Then, before he knew it, there were lips against his, and a warm body getting closer and closer.

He wished he had the strength to stop it, but just like they had a few days before, they seemed to fall against each other perfectly. One of Theo’s hands came to cup his face, kissing him hungrily, and Liam took a grip of his hoodie, anchoring himself to really dive in. It felt good, and warm, and exciting. Theo kissed just like he was, decisive, but still startling Liam sometimes, and he kissed back just the same, making sure Theo knew he wasn’t just letting him lead. And then, without warning, Theo took a step back, his face a little flushed, and his lips red. Liam didn’t remember playing with his hair, but he must have, because he was a just… a look of debauchery. Which was really attractive.

There, Theo crossed his arms, and smirked.

“Yeah. As I said. Very convincing.”

Liam thought about trying to defend himself, but the need to bring Theo closer to him was stronger, and he pushed him against the wall, and kissed him again, taking his time to discover exactly what made them feel so good. He listened to every single of Theo’s breaths, paid attention every time he moved against him, and took a particular note of what made him grab Liam’s hips.

And when he finally needed to breathe, he did so without moving his body, a hand still on Theo’s heart, which was beating as fast as his own.

“Not a word to Mason.” Liam whispered, eyes lost in a sea of green.

“Not a word to Mason.”, Theo answered with a smile, before bringing Liam closer to him, and moving him so his back was against the wall. “My turn.”

And Liam couldn’t complain.

* * *

“Where were you ?” Mason wondered as Liam entered his room, taking the sight in. The place was big, with a giant bed and an even bigger dressing, chairs and a sofa, a brand new computer and a full-on library. Each and every single one of these items were at least partially covered by clothes, some which still had their tags, as Mason was only wearing his boxers.

“Sorry.”

Liam had passed through one of the bathroom, trying to make sure he didn’t look like he had been kissed senseless by Theo freaking Raeken, and he was glad Mason was so focused on his date, because otherwise he would have never miss the way his lips were fuller, and the forming hickey he was trying to hide in his neck. Thank god for shaggy hair. 

“Can you believe it ? He is taking me to a club. Is that friendly ? Do you think he is trying to be my friend ? Is that what it is ?”

“Mase. Rule number 13.” Liam stated, making some room on the bed to actually sit, which was a good idea, because he wasn’t so sure his legs could carry him right now.

Mason closed his eyes and breathed in, and out.

_ Rule thirteen : When one friend calls a time-out, the other has to do it. _

“Thank you. I needed that.” The younger Hewitt said after a few seconds. 

“No worries. Also, I’m pretty sure you don’t invite friends to a club on a Friday night. I think it’s a date, Mase.”

If Liam hoped his words would help his best friend, he was wrong. Mason appeared even more frightful.

“I should cancel.”

“Absolutely not.”

“I don’t know how to dance.”

“You’ll do fine.”

“I don’t like club music.”

“You like Corey.”

“I can’t, Liam.”

“... I dare you, Mason.”

Everything stopped, and the both of them stood still until Liam’s word had made their way through Mason’s mind. A dare.

_ Rule number fifteen : Never refuse a dare. _

“You’re on.” Mason finally whispered.

Liam grinned at his best friend, proud of himself, and of him. Even after all those years, they still trusted each other blindly. It was probably stupid, most of the time, giving someone so much power, but it worked for them, and Liam hoped, sincerely, that they would always be this way.

_ You kissed Theo _ , his conscience hissed.

“Try the red shirt. With your black pants. The slim ones. You said they made your ass look good.” He said.

Anything to make the guilt stop.

* * *

_ So… What are you doing tomorrow night ? _

Liam stared at Theo’s message on his phone. It was almost midnight, and he had just arrived home, after leaving Mason to Corey. He hadn’t seen the senior on the way down, fortunately, because he was not ready to be faced with Theo around Mason.

And now, Theo seemed to have an idea. For them. 

He tried to think about a witty answer, but all that came was a pretty lame text.

_ Nothing special. Will probably hang with Mason. _

Theo didn’t make him wait for too long. His phone bipped almost immediately. 

_ Good idea. Come hang at ours. You know where to find me once Mase is out. _

Liam stared at the message, his mouth gaping.

_ That’s a terrible idea. _

_ Have I told you how little convincing you are ? _

He didn’t answer. Theo’s message didn’t deserve it. At least that’s what he told himself, as he tossed into his bed, reliving the early night. He knew what he was doing was wrong. If he had told Mason after the first kiss, there could have been a chance his best friend would have forgiven him. But making out with Theo for almost half an hour, tonight ? That was… treachery. 

The fact was that he was so long gone, that he couldn’t go back anymore. So, when going through hell… His only way out was to keep going. Whatever he had with Theo was, he needed to get to the bottom of it, to understand it, and to be able to explain it to Mason. 

Maybe he would understand.

Scratch that. Mason had once given him the cold shoulder during a whole week for forgetting their rule number three, whoever was the first one up decides what breakfast is.

He was so done.

* * *

Liam woke up early, and with a lot of new resolutions. The first one was to stop getting involved with Theo, especially if said involving meant kissing him. The second one was focusing on his best friend, which he declared an immediate obligation.

He sent Mason a text to ask him about his date, and went downstairs. His step-father, David, was drinking his coffee while reading the newspaper. He tapped softly on Liam’s shoulder as he passed him by, and pushed a plate of pancakes in front of him.

“Your mom made them. Well, she used a premix, but let’s pretend for the sake of the both of us that she didn’t.”

Jenna was a really good cook, and her meatloaf was well-known in the neighborhood, but if she had one weakness, breakfast probably was it. She couldn’t make pancakes, or even eggs. Everything usually ended up burnt, or salty. Or both.

Liam took a plate, and started helping himself.

“So, we haven’t seen each other much this last week.”

The teenager stopped amassing pancakes, and was surprised to meet David’s eyes. He rarely talked to him in the mornings, both of them appreciating the silence, and the habits they had.

“I guess…” Liam said, before grabbing the maple syrup. 

David smiled at him, and there was an ounce of amusement in his eyes.

“Anything new ? That you’d like to tell me ?”

Liam stared at him, trying to understand exactly right the conversation was going. He was almost sure no one knew about Theo and him. And his school week hadn’t been very interesting, or anything. 

“I don’t know ? Why the question ?”

David seemed to hesitate, still smiling, before he gestured at Liam’s neck. 

That’s when the memory snapped back into his mind. With a small desolated noise, he tried to cover the left side of his face. He should have looked at himself before coming there. Obviously whatever small hickey he had the day before must have become horrible. He was going to kill Theo.

“It’s not… I’m not…”

“Don’t worry Liam. Your secret is safe with me. Just make sure your mother doesn’t see it, otherwise you’ll never hear the end of it.”

Liam nodded sheepishly, promising himself to borrow something to cover it up from his mother’s make-up. 

David finished his mug, before standing up, and Liam thought the conversation was over, but he should have known that luck would not be on his side on that special day. Or week. Or year. The freaking Friends TV-show was right.

“Oh, also. Your mother invited the Hewitts tonight. And you know Louise is twice as bad as your mother, so make sure no one can see it.”

The Hewitts. That meant Gregory, Louise, Mason, and Theo.

Amazing. Exactly what Liam needed. Just when he had decided to ignore Theo… Was fate really playing with him ? He remembered the texts, and wondered if he was supposed to go with the flow of catastrophe that was his life currently. He knew he wouldn’t be able to avoid going to Mason’s forever. Better to rip the band aid right now. Also, he was totally able to go there, spend the night with Mason, and not engage into any special activity with Theo. He needed to trust himself. And there was no way Theo could convince him otherwise.

“Can I have a sleepover at Mason’s after ?” He asked David, against, probably, his better judgment.

The man raised his shoulders.

“I can’t see why not. As long as his parents are okay with it, which they probably will.”

“Cool.”

Did he really do exactly what Theo had told him to ? Liam decided that no, it was not the case. After all, spending time with Mason was his idea, and he would not fall for Theo’s plan. There would be no kissing, no making out, and especially not a late visit to anyone’s room. 

He hoped he was strong enough for this.

* * *

  
  


Mason texted him back, telling him how amazing Corey was and how much fun the night had been. He promised to tell Liam everything in detail as soon as they would see each other, which would be soon as they had agreed on working on their Physics lab together. Liam took a shower, and made sure to cover up the mark on his neck. It felt weird, touching it with the bout of his fingers, feeling the sensible red skin. He couldn’t remember when exactly Theo’s mouth had latched on him, but he knew he was responsible for this.

Liam waited for Mason, who turned up fifteen minutes late, which was almost on time for him. His best friend was over the moon, clearly still reliving his night as he was explaining every single detail to Liam. How Corey had been dressed. How they had such a good conversation. How cute Corey had been on the dance floor. How he had made sure Mason felt comfortable the whole time. How he hadn’t drunk as he was driving. 

Seriously, listening to Mason gloat about the guy who was probably now his boyfriend, Liam was almost jealous. He knew perfectly well that Theo would never do a quarter of what Corey did the day before. Theo was a player, and the number of his conquests was a bad kept secret. Mason often referred to his room as “The Harem”, because he seemed to bring back another person each week. He also liked to play around, and there was a rumor that he had sex with half the cheering team, and was working his way towards completing the whole card. 

Yeah, Corey sounded awesome. And Liam felt even more guilty knowing that instead of listening to Mason’s story and being happy for him, he had spent half the time imagining Theo instead of Corey. Theo being nice to him, bringing him to this club, maybe some dancing, his body close and warm, more skin that he had been able to see the day before, and maybe some kissing.

Liam really needed to get his head into the game because he was starting to become really into the guy. Well, no. He was into the idea of Theo. A nice, and soft Theo. The one who had played in the middle of the road, drenched by the clouds, twirling around like a kid and laughing. The one who had challenged Liam, with his messy hair, and his green eyes, his red hoodie, and his sweatpants.

A few days before, Liam would have probably admitted to having a crush. But the fact was that a few kisses later, a  _ crush _ was not how he would have explained his relationship with Theo.

“I’m just so happy, Li.”

Liam wanted to punch himself for losing track of the conversation again. But instead, he managed a smile, and squeezed Mason’s hand.

“I’m happy for you, Mase.”

And he was, really.

He just wished he could have the same kind of happiness his best friend had.

* * *

The afternoon passed swiftly, between homework, snacks provided by Jenna, and video games. They even watched some videos on Youtube, laughing at people falling down, or at funny animals.

When his mother came to tell them that the Hewitts were about to arrive, Liam remembered how he had planned to sleep over, and he prepared a small bag, even though he knew he already had enough clothes and a toothbrush at Mason’s house. He packed a few things, and his computer, before walking downstairs, and helping his mother prepare the table.

He just had to survive dinner. How hard could it be ? There would be adults, and discussions, and Mason. He could absolutely ignore Theo, or at least limit their interactions to the bare minimum and things would go well. No one would notice, and at the end of the day, he could go with his best friend, play some games, have ice-cream, and forget that he ever kissed Theo.

His plan seemed pretty good until the moment he saw Theo’s face. The senior had dressed casually, used to these improvised dinners, but Liam couldn’t look at him without having very vivid memories of being pressed against a wall anymore, which was a problem, because he couldn’t play the perfect host while thinking about making out with one of his guest’s sons.

Theo didn’t say anything remotely provocative, but every time Liam blushed, he seemed to smile, which meant that he was paying attention. He complimented Jenna on her cooking, and talked with David about the changes at the hospital. Theo had this way, with people, and it was probably why he was so popular at school. He discerned personality and remembered hobbies or details, which made him the perfect conversationalist. Jenna and David loved him, not only as the Hewitts’ son, but as himself.

All through the dinner, which seemed terribly long to Liam, Mason tried to engage him in a discussion with Greg, his dad, about Lacrosse. Liam tried to appreciate it, especially as his best friend was not even in the team - but had been very interested in the previous matches as Corey was playing. Gregory had used to play when he was younger, which meant he knew the rules perfectly well, and was able to ask really interesting questions.

Still; Liam couldn’t help but look at Theo every few minutes, feeling like a bomb was ready to explode. How could the senior act so natural when they had just had the most intense makeout session of his life the day before ? Apparently, it was not a problem for him, as he took a second piece of the brownie Jenna had cooked. The sucker was even hungry.

“So, you’re sleeping at ours ?” Gregory asked, while finishing his glass of white wine.

“Eh, yeah. If that’s alright with you.”

“Of course it’s alright”, Louise chimed in “You know you can come as often as you want Liam. I still don’t understand why you won’t let me organize a bedroom for you.”

“We like to sleep in the same room, mom.” Mason explained, for what felt like the hundredth time

“Yeah, they like to sleep together.” Theo added, before commenting “Such a good brownie Jenna.”, which was a good thing, as Liam almost choked himself at the mention of  _ sleeping together _ . Was he seriously trying to rile him up or was it just a sentence he didn’t think about ?

“These two must have annoyed you a lot when they were younger.” David said, offering the bottle of alcohol to Gregory. “I know you’re not that much older than them, but they were always hard to deal with when they put their minds together.”

Theo laughed, and looked at Liam. “Yeah. They used to annoy me a lot. Always wanting me to play with them. Wanted me to be a dragon Liam could fight, or a knight for Mason. Thankfully, they grew up. Still. Mason will always be my annoying little brother.”

Mason almost glowed at that, always happy to hear that Theo really considered him as a brother. Liam felt even more guilty. How did he dare get himself in the middle of the two boys ? He knew this thing with Theo was a bad idea, but he had never thought about the consequences it could have between Theo and Mason. 

He stayed silent all though the rest of the dinner, and Jenna seemed to notice it, because she asked him if he was okay twice.

“Yeah. I think I’m just tired, you know ?”

“Do you still want to go to Mason’s ?’

Liam stopped at that, taking the time to think about it. He really wanted to spend time with his best friend, and he knew Mason missed him too. But going to the Hewitts’ would mean getting closer to Theo, and he couldn’t have it. 

“I don’t know…”

Then, he felt a kick against his leg, and he turned to face the culprit, only to see Theo’s eyes rendered somber by the warm light of the room.

“Do you even have to ask Jenna ? Liam would have to be sick, or close to dying not to spend his Saturday night with Mase.”

Liam’s mother laughed, and Theo smirked. The bastard. He had beaten Liam at his own game. Like he told him before, they had to act like everything was normal, and okay. Which meant that Liam had no good reason not to come with them, despite the danger it could be.

When did he lost so much control over how own life ?

* * *

Mason was in an especially good mood that night, and when they got to his bedroom; he showed Liam Corey’s text, which was about them being together, and how happy he was. He also proposed another date, the following day, to an ice-cream parlor.

“It’s going to be cold outside”, Liam pointed out, but Mason only raised his eyes.

“I don’t really care. He will be there to warm me up !”

Liam laughed at that, and he accepted the bowl of popcorn Mason was bringing back from the kitchen.

“What are we watching exactly ?”

“Hamilton ?”

“We’ve watched it twice this month, Mason.”

“And they say the third time's the charm !”

Liam wasn’t about to complain about that choice, not really. He loved history, every part of it, and this movie had led him to research every single character. He loved the music, too, and he especially liked being with Mason and trying to sing the song, the both of them stumbling through the words, because of how fast it was. 

As the movie began, he watched the entire cast predict what was going to happen, and his mother’s words came back to him.

_ Everything happens for a reason. _

Yeah, Hamilton’s life made sense. Everything he went through, all the suffering, it had helped his friends, and even his foe. Liam wondered if his life had such a meaning. Probably not. He was the side character, the one no one really thought about, the one easily forgotten.

Maybe he was the Peggy to someone’s Hamilton.

* * *

Mason fell asleep a little after midnight, and Liam waited for him to start snoring. Then, quietly, he got up, before stopping in his tracks.

What was he doing exactly ?

Theo had probably been joking in his text. There was no way he was actually expecting Liam to show up in his room, late in the night. There was also the risk of Mason waking up, and wondering where his best friend was. Liam could pretend going to the bathroom, except there was one next to Mason’s room. But using it would make some noise. As a good friend, he couldn’t wake up the boy who clearly needed sleep to enjoy his future date. Yes. As his best friend, Liam had to use another bathroom.

He left the room, and wondered who he was trying to kid. Mason, that was for sure. But he knew perfectly well why he was getting closer and closer to Theo’s room, and it had nothing to do with being a nice friend. Quite the contrary actually.

Theo’s door was almost closed, but a ray of light was proof enough that he wasn’t sleeping. Liam froze, a few meters away, thinking how bad of an idea this was, and trying to find the strength to go back to Mason’s room. But before he was able to retreat, the door opened completely, and a sleepy Theo appeared. He didn’t seem surprised to see Liam there, like a deer in highlights. 

“So… You’re feeling reckless ?” Theo asked, while leaning against the frame of the door. 

“I’m thinking this is a bad idea.” Liam whispered, looking behind him. “I shouldn’t be here.”

“But you are.”

“I was looking for… A bathroom.”

Theo laughed at that and Liam shushed him. 

“You are going to wake up Mason !”

“So he is asleep…”

Liam nodded, and Theo left his position, opening the door wider.

“Come on in. I’m not going to bite.” Liam quickly made his way inside, but he didn’t miss Theo whispering “... Or maybe I will.”

Theo’s room was as large as Mason, with a giant TV, and a stereo that was the size of Liam’s family computer. The walls were grey, and the only light came from a bed-side table lamp. Liam stayed in the middle of the room, taking it all in.

“You look like you are about to run away.” Theo commented, while closing the door behind him. “Not a usual sight in this room.”

Liam tried not to think about the number of people who probably visited Theo’s room weekly, and the things they might do. Instead, he focused on trying to make things better. For Mason.

“I think we made a mistake.”, he whispered to Theo, who arched an eyebrow.

“Didn’t feel like a mistake to me.”

“Well, it was. And we need to stop.”

“If it’s really what you want.”

“Can you stop speaking so loudly ? Mason could hear you !”

Theo laughed at that.

“This room is soundproof. The only thing he sometimes hears is the bass of the stereo.”

Liam tried to find out if Theo was lying by looking in his eyes. Which was clearly an error, because his brain seemed to fry, like every time he did so. Theo’s eyes were beautiful, and special, he had found out, because they changed colors depending on the light. Right now, they were a grayish green. But what made them so special was the fact that all of Theo’s emotions seemed to pour from them. 

And from what he saw, Liam could tell Theo was amused, and also curious. 

“I just came to tell you that there won’t be any… We won’t… Ever again.” He tried, keeping his face as straight as possible, and probably failing, because Theo smiled again.

“Kissing ? Is that the word you are looking for Liam ? Or maybe it’s making out, as I remember you were into yesterday evening.”

“Stop that !” Liam hissed. 

“Stop what ? Telling the truth ? You should try it sometimes. It feels really nice. Not like lying to your best friend.”

Liam’s face must have fallen at those words, because Theo took a step toward him, suddenly more alert.

“I’m kidding Liam. I get it. You don’t want to mess with Mason’s head. Fine. I can be your dirty little secret, if that makes you feel better. We will both be lying to him.”

“It doesn’t make it right”, Liam muttered. 

“I think I know how to make it… Just… Right…” Theo said, coming closer with every word. He stood tall in front of Liam, who was once again lost in the ocean of green. 

“I’m not having sex with you.” Liam blurted right in front of Theo’s face. He felt his cheeks warm up, and he looked at the floor sheepishly. That was one way to put the subject on the table. At least, now, he would have a good reason to avoid Theo’s eyes.

He felt Theo’s fingers on his chin, and he let himself be maneuvered to meet Theo’s eyes again. There was no mocking in them, just concern.

“Hey. Seriously though ? Did you really think I would... “

“I don’t know !” Liam squeaked. “I know you are kind of… You like to go right to…”

“You know nothing.” Theo sighed, letting his hand fall. He took a step back. “Go back to Mason’s room’.

Liam stared at him, surprised. But Theo pointed to the door.

“If you really think I would play around about this, then you are right and we are making a mistake. But not the one you were thinking of.”

The atmosphere in the room suddenly became colder, as Theo was now the one avoiding Liam’s eyes. Apparently, Liam had said something wrong, because he could see that Theo was upset.

“I’m sorry.” He said, in a breath. “You’re just… Really hard to read.”

Theo seemed to take his apology into consideration. Then, with a sigh, he came closer, and softly kissed... Liam’s hair.

“What do you say we watch a movie ?” He offered, walking to the TV.

“Anything but Hamilton.” Liam answered, thinking how natural the gesture had seemed to Theo, and he was grateful to hear Theo’s laugh again.

* * *

They ended up watching one of the Avengers movies, which was perfect, as Liam had already seen it, which meant he could focus on everything else but the screen. They were laying on the bed, an empty space between them. Theo’s eyes were on the screen, but his face was blank, like he wasn’t really trying to figure out the plot. Liam tried to be discreet when glancing, but on the third time, he was met by Theo’s eyes.

“You don’t like the movie ?”

And he should have found something to answer, something funny, and light, but Theo’s face was so close, and he could almost feel his breath against his skin. It was getting harder every single time, trying to resist it. He could feel the phantom of Theo’s hands on his waist, and he remembered vividly how it had felt to kiss him, again and again. How soft Theo became with every passing kiss, and how he tended to let his fingers wander in Liam’s hair. 

“Liam ?” Theo asked, almost a whisper.

“Yeah ?” He breathed out, his eyes quickly looking at Theo’s lips, before finding his eyes again.

“You know that if you want to kiss me, you just can, right ?”

Liam didn’t answer. At least not verbally. He smiled at Theo, who raised his eyes for a second, but came closer. Closer and closer, and closer, until their lips met.

Theo was an ocean and Liam was already drowning. 

  
  


* * *

Liam ended up going back to Mason’s room at ten past three, trying to tiptoe, not to wake him up. His best friend was still on the sofa, but he opened his eyes when Liam tried to join him, blinking away the sleep.

“Sorry, did I wake you ?” Liam asked, glad that the light was out and that Mason would not see his flushed face.

The other boy only groaned, and Liam offered him his hand.

“Let’s go to bed. This sofa will kill your back.”

“Thanks”, Mason answered, accepting the offer. “I love you man.”

Those words lingered into Liam’s mind until the sun came out.


	3. This is not a game

Things were pretty clear to Liam. First of all, he had a giant crush on Theo Raeken, and the guy seemed pretty happy to oblige him. Second, their relationship had to remain a secret, because Liam didn’t want Mason to hate him for the rest of his days. And then, finally, having to hide from his own best friend was something Liam had to learn, and quick.

On Monday morning, Theo’s car was waiting for him, and he was greeted by the Hewitt’s boys just as any usual day. Mason sang along the radio, and Liam’s eyes crossed Theo’s in the rear view mirror. 

Walking between his third class and his fourth, he felt a hand grasp his arm, and he let himself be guided in an empty classroom. He fumbled a little, but Theo steadied him, and closed the door behind them. Liam looked around the room, but his attention was soon back on Theo, who took his hand to get him closer. The senior kissed him gently. Liam was not really in the mood for gentleness, so he buried his hands in Theo’s hair, and made sure that the guy would remember this kiss for the rest of his day. When they stopped, out of breath, their faces close and forehead touching, Theo smiled.

“Hi, you.”

“... Hi.”

Theo kissed him again, a soft touch of lips, and Liam closed his eyes, trying to make the moment last. Theo was intoxicating and Liam couldn’t love it more.

“We need to go back to class.” The senior finally said, before kissing Liam again, on the corner of his mouth.

“We do ?”

“Yeah. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t all in your head again.”

“I’m not.” Liam promised. It was his turn to kiss Theo, and chose to leave a peck on the top of his nose, getting a smile as a result.

“You’re cute.” Theo said, before letting go of him. “Have a great French class !” 

“How do you know I have …” Liam started, but Theo was gone before he had time to finish his question. He tried to adjust his shirt so it didn’t look suspicious, and left the room, his heart beating a little too fast because of the adrenaline rush, and his mind still focused on Theo. The boy was like an enigma, and every single time Liam thought he had found the key to match his lock, he would only discover another one. 

It didn’t matter. They had time. And as long as they were discreet, nothing bad could happen. At least, that’s what Liam tried to tell himself.

* * *

Being in a secret relationship was more work than Liam had ever imagined. He had to be discreet, and it was not really his stronger suit. Nobody could know, not his parents, not his best friend, and not the other students. That meant a lot of people to avoid, and very few chances to see Theo. 

But they made it work. Theo often found him between classes, and if they couldn’t escape for a minute, he was often met with a smile, or a wink. Theo seemed more happy these days, and every time they got together, he made sure Liam had no time to think about any of the consequences of their acts.

The hardest thing was the lying. He had never spent so much time at Mason’s, and never wished so much for his best friend to be occupied. He would come sometimes, hoping Corey would call. When it happened, he would reassure Mason, telling him he was going to the kitchen to get a snack, and even offering him some space. A few seconds later, he was usually in Theo’s arms, hidden behind the staircase, or hanging in one of the many rooms of the house.

But the call would always end, and Mason would look for him, telling him how sorry he was that he hadn’t that much time for Liam anymore. And then, Liam would act as a best friend, saying that it was alright, and normal. That he was happy for Mason.

And he was. Corey was nice. But what Liam liked the most about Corey was the fact that Mason’s mind was occupied by something else that his best friend recurring disappearances. 

* * *

On Friday, Mason seemed to contain himself when he came to Liam. But his excitement was so easy to read on his face that Liam almost immediately knew that whatever he was about to talk about, Corey had a role in it.

“So, I know we said we would go to town tomorrow, but Corey is finally free from his second job, and I thought now would be a good time to introduce him to my parents.” Mason said in one long, very fast, sentence.

“Oh.”

The Hewitt junior seemed to mistake Liam’s surprise for deception. He immediately added “Obviously, you are welcome to come ! Corey will be there but we still can play video games, or watch a movie !”

“I think I’ll pass”, Liam said with a smile. Mason seemed uneasy, but his best friend tried to reassure him. “It’s really fine, Mase ! I have a French project, and I promised to help David with his car.”

“I don’t want you to feel like you are the third wheel…”

“You don’t. I love you man, but I am happy to just know you’ll be snogging your boyfriend. No need to witness that.”

Mason hit him jokingly on the shoulder, and Liam pretended he was hurt. He felt his heart beat a little faster. Saturday. Mason would be busy on Saturday. A whole day. He thought about texting Theo, but then he remembered the senior usually had plans with his friends. Still. Maybe they would be able to find a way to see each other, even for a few minutes.

It was hard, chasing time. Sometimes, he wished he could just go to Theo, and get in his arms, without having to think about people around them. Sometimes, he looked at couples, holding hands at the school, or even laughing together. Sometimes, he looked at Corey and Mason, and wished he could be free of all that was keeping him from just living his life.

But it also reminded him how delicate the situation was. And how, one day, he would have to make a choice.

Choose between Mason, or Theo.

He would rather set himself on fire. 

* * *

Liam didn’t have to text Theo, as he was the one who contacted him. The junior was doing his Maths homework when his phone beeped. He looked at the screen absent-minded, before double-checking the name, and the text.

_ So… What are you doing on Saturday ? _

He only answered with a smiley face.

* * *

  
  


Theo didn’t give any information on what he had in mind for them to Liam. Instead, he told him to be ready at ten, and to pack comfortable clothes. The weather was still warm, and Liam wondered if it would rain. Usually, he would wish for a sunny day, but the memory of Theo almost dancing in the middle of the rainy street was still lingering in his mind, and he wouldn’t hate seeing it again. 

By nine o’clock, he had already had breakfast, and was trying to contain his impatience. He checked his bag twice, and his behavior must have been quite erratic, because his mother finally sighed.

“What is going on with you today ?”

He looked at her, still in her pyjamas, her long hair a mess around her pale face. She was sipping her cup of tea, clearly deciding to take things slow. As he would usually do on such a day. He tried to stay calm, ready to tell the lie he had prepared. 

“I’m going out with some friends.”

Jenna arched an eyebrow.

“Friends ? You have friends that are not named Hewitt ?”

“Ahah. So funny mom.” Liam raised his eyes. “Yes, I have friends. With Mason being with Corey, I spend time with new people.”

“Corey’s friends ?”

“And others.”

“That’s great. I’m happy for you.” She smiled. “Where are you going ?”

“Uh, I don’t know. We’ll see. It’s kind of a surprised outing.”

He didn’t want to lie, but he also didn’t want his mother to worry. And looking at her, he could see that she had her doubts about the whole thing. He tried to be as reassuring as possible.

“It’s going to be fine, Mom. I’m seventeen. I’ll be with friends. I have my phone. You were the one who told me to live a little and go outside. That’s what I’m doing !”

Jenna was about to say something, but a car caught Liam’s eyes, and he pressed a quick peck on her cheek.

“I’ll see you tonight !”

“Take care !” She answered, as the door closed behind him. He sprinted towards Theo’s car, opened the door, and whispered “Go go go go !”. 

The senior looked at him with wide eyes, but did exactly as he had been told, the car speeding almost immediately.

“What the heck is going on ?” Theo asked, while checking the road ahead. 

Liam looked behind his shoulder, checking his house.

“I don’t want my mom to recognize your car.”

When he turned to Theo, the teenager had a hand on his heart, and he looked sad.

“Are you ashamed of me, Liam ?”

His voice was laced with sarcasm, and Liam couldn’t help but smile at that. He reached for his free hand, and linked their fingers.

“Yeah, really ashamed to be seen with the hottest guy in town.”

“You wound me. I thought I was the one dating the number one hottie.”

Liam froze at that, looking at Theo, and trying to understand what had made him feel so wary. Oh. Dating.

Theo seemed to interpret his silence as an agreement, and he smiled at the road, totally free of Liam’s worries. Finally, the junior swallowed his feelings, and looked at the road again. He frowned.

“Where are we going exactly ?”

Theo turned his head, his eyes leaving the road for a second, smiling at Liam.

“Had to work on that. As you can’t be seen with me by anyone, I thought Beacon Hills was out of the equation. The beach too. Some of my friends are there right now. Mason is at our house with Corey, or they’ll be in a few hours.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.” Liam noticed, trying to find a comfortable position on the seat, his hand still around Theo’s.

“I think I found the perfect place.”

* * *

Liam didn’t say anything as Theo was driving through Beacon Hills, until there were only a few houses left on the side of the road. Then, the boy took a right turn, and started driving on a small muddy road. That was the nice thing about having a truck, Liam thought, trying not to imagine what his mother’s car would have looked like after taking this kind of trip. Theo had slowed down, making sure not to hit any branch. He sometimes took a peek at Liam, smiling to himself, but not saying anything. And then, slowly, he came to a stop in front of a big wood sign.

“Beacon Hills’ Preserve ?” Liam read.

“Yep. A nice place to take a walk. Or just sit.”

“You brought me to a forest ?”

Theo looked at him, and suddenly, he didn’t seem so sure of him anymore. He ran a hand through his hair alternating looking at Liam, and looking at the sign.

“I guess ? I mean, I was only trying to find a place where we could be alone, and where you wouldn’t spend half your time looking behind your sh…”

Liam didn’t let him finish this sentence. He used his right hand to cup Theo’s jaw, and kiss him. It was a soft kiss, one that Liam wasn’t used to, but that had felt right in the moment. It was a thank you kiss, something to tell Theo that he had made the right choice, and that Liam was thankful for him being so understanding.

Theo seemed to like it, as he returned the kiss just as airily, a light touch of lips against Liam’s. The fact that, for once, they didn’t have to rush, made Liam appreciate the moment even more. 

For one day, he was Theo’s, and Theo was his.

* * *

After awhile, they started walking in the forest. Still holding Theo’s hand, Liam left himself to follow the senior. The ground was uneven, making them slow down more often than not, and it had rained the day before, rendering some crossings slippery. They didn’t talk, at first, and Liam took in the sight of the trees around him, and the smell of pines. He was glad Theo had told him to bring a warm hoodie, because the wind was already a bit cold, like winter couldn’t wait to come. Theo didn’t hesitate, finding his way through the forest, and knowing seamlessly how to navigate the place.

“Do you come here often ?” Liam asked, looking around them.

Theo kept walking, and Liam felt his thumb against his palm, slowly caressing the skin there.

“Sometimes.”

He didn’t say more, and Liam felt like it would be intruding to ask, so they kept walking. Then, Theo made them take a left turn, and they arrived in a small glade. The place was beautiful, with all the shades of green and brown on earth, tall untouched grass, and bordered by old trees. But Liam’s eyes were immediately drawn to what stood in the middle.

“What’s that ?”

“That’s the old Hale house.” Theo answered, taking Liam with him as he walked towards the old, burnt house. “Have you ever heard of the Hale fire ?” He looked at Liam’s face, curious, but a sense of seriousness settling in his eyes.

“No. It doesn’t ring a bell.”

“It makes sense. You were young. I was young too. It happened the same year…”

Theo seemed to lose his words for a second, and without a doubt, Liam understood what had meant to say. He brought Theo closer to him, but didn’t initiate any more contact than their linked hands. Still, he waited for Theo to look at him, before pronouncing what the other boy couldn’t muster.

“It happened the same year as your accident. Right ?”

Theo nodded, before looking at the house again. He stayed like that for a long time, and Liam closed the space between them, reaching for his waist, and bringing his head on Theo’s shoulder. 

The senior sighed, like every word was difficult to say, before whispering.

“It happened the summer before. I remember it well because… Did you know my father was a firefighter ?”. Liam shook his head against him. “Yeah, he was. And he was called on this one. Terrible thing. A whole family locked inside a house and left to burn. When they arrived, it was already too late. Impossible to enter, too dangerous. They heard the people dying, and they couldn’t get in. It messed up with my dad. A lot. And…”

Theo swallowed the words, and Liam brought his hand to rest it on Theo’s heart. He could feel the beat, fast and messy, and he wanted to make sure he would never forget what this embrace, and these memories shared felt like.

“My dad said that if anything were to happen to us, he would kill himself.” Theo finally said, in a murmur. “Said that it wasn’t worth it to survive such a horror.” He added. “One of the Hales did survive. Lost his wife, his kids, his sister and his step-brother. Nephews and nieces too. Lost his mind, from what I’ve heard.”

“That’s awful.” Liam answered, his mouth close to Theo’s ear. He felt the nodding against his neck.

“Yeah. I thought about it a lot, in the beginning. You know. What’s the point of living when everyone you love is dead ?”

The confession broke Liam’s heart in a million pieces. He never thought about what Theo had been through, because he was so good at keeping appearances. He knew there had been nightmares in the beginning, because he remembered Louise running to Theo’s room more than once when he slept over. But Theo would never talk about it, about his parents, his sister, or the accident. All Liam knew was from what he had heard from his parents younger, or from other students. He never was curious enough to go check on the internet, or in a paper. But now, with Theo by his side, he felt like he needed to understand. 

“Do you want to talk about it ?” He asked softly. 

Theo shrugged, but his arm came around Liam’s waist, bringing him closer. 

“There is not a lot to say. Winter night, some snow. My dad was driving. Tara… Tara and I were fighting over who got to play with her Gameboy because I had forgotten mine. It was dark, and the road was icy. From what they told me, my dad missed a turn. The car totaled into a tree. Both my parents died on impact. Tara died at the hospital. We had no family around, so they looked to see if anyone would take me in. Louise is a friend of the Sheriff, and the Sheriff felt bad for me because I used to play with his son. That’s when I met the Hewitts. Louise, Greg, and Mason.”

Liam nodded. He almost missed Theo’s last sentence.

“That’s when I met you, too.”

* * *

They stayed in front of the house for a few more minutes, but Liam couldn’t control a shiver, and Theo decided it was time for them to go back to his car.

“I’ve packed a blanket. We can sit in the bed of the truck. I’ve got pillows too.”

Liam looked at him, and smiled at his blushing.

“Pillows and a blanket ?”

Theo raised his eyes, and put his arm around Liam’s shoulders.

“Come on. The truck isn’t comfortable and I don’t want you to have to invent another story about how you hurt your back.”

Liam remembered perfectly well the time Theo had kissed him at school, in the locker room, just after his Lacrosse practice. Too worried about how to get more of Theo, he hadn’t paid attention to the door of the locker behind him. He still had a mark on his back. 

“Yeah. I’d rather not.”

They walked in silence, and Liam decided to just appreciate this moment. Being able to hold Theo’s hand, to get to be near him as much as he wanted, for as long as he wanted, was an amazing feeling. So, that was how it was for normal couples. It seemed like such a stretch from their usual dynamic. 

Once they got to the car, Theo opened one of the back doors, and gave Liam three pillows, and two plaids. He also took his bag that he sent directly into the bed of the truck. Liam hauled himself on it, and Theo followed him effortlessly. 

“What time is it ?” He asked Theo, not wanting to look at his phone. 

The senior was trying to lay down, taking one of the pillows to rest his cheek on. He smiled at Liam, and his face was open and so soft. 

“I don’t really care.” He answered, before taking Liam’s hand, and bringing it to his mouth. He kept his eyes into Liam’s as he left a small kiss on the top of his hand. Liam smiled, and took the other pillow, bringing him right next to Theo’s, the closer he could get. He tried to reach for the plaid, but Theo beat him to it, and before he knew it, they were both engulfed into its warmth. Head on the pillow, Liam looked at Theo, taking his time to memorize every single aspect of his face. How beautiful and full of emotions his eyes were. How his nose was a little crooked, just enough to give him character, and how nice his lips looked. 

And then, Theo started talking, about school, about his friends, and Liam talked about Lacrosse and his mother. Slowly, they discovered more and more about each other, sharing memories, and laughs. Sometimes, Theo’s hand would end up on Liam’s jaw, or Liam would kiss him slow. Sometimes, things would get heated for a moment, Theo’s body on top of Liam’s, but they would always slow things down, taking their time and trying to make the most of it. And if sometimes Theo’s hand went too fast, or Liam’s hips moved a little too hard, they would always find a balance.

“It’s weird.” Liam finally said, all but resting on Theo’s chest.

“Hum ?” He felt the vibration under his body.

“I know you. I’ve known you for a long time. It’s… It’s like falling on something, and you’re afraid, but at the same time, you know the thing.”

“Are you calling me a thing ?” Theo laughed, apparently having fun.

“No ! Not really. I’m just saying… It shouldn’t be that easy.”

There was a silence. Then, Theo spoke up, his voice serious.

“Why shouldn’t it be that easy, Liam ?”

The junior sighed, and turned to face Theo, but still tried to keep his head against the senior’s shoulder.

“Because that’s not how dating goes.”

Theo looked at him for a long time, before bringing his hand in Liam’s hair, playing with it for a while.

“Do you like it ?”

Liam only answered with a small noise of approval. Theo smiled at that.

“Then let you have it.”

* * *

Time seemed to pass fast, and slowly at the same time. They had time to do anything, and everything, which was great. They talked, and ate the lunch Theo had brought, sandwiches and fruits, before sharing a bar of chocolate. Theo kissed the sugary taste away. Liam laughed at his antics. Theo made jokes. Liam left his hand against Theo’s face. They listened to the forest. They looked at the sky, trying to guess what forms the clouds could be. 

It could have lasted minutes, or it could have lasted days. But when Theo announced, his voice full of regrets, that it was almost dinner time, Liam accepted the truth.

He wasn’t just having a crush on Theo.

He was starting to fall in love with the guy.

* * *

When his mother asked him how the day with his friends went, Liam only answered that it was okay. She asked him where he had been, and he answered that he had hung out in the forest. She seemed curious at that, wondering why teenagers would choose the preserve over the beach, but she seemed to accept Liam’s explanation that teenagers just wanted to be alone.

A part of him was happy he had been able to pull this one out.

The other part… The other part, the one which knew he was falling, and hard, for the Hewitt boy, wanted his mother to get it. To see it. To ask him. He wanted someone to notice, someone with whom to share how much he had liked that moment, and how special Theo was. He wanted to tell someone about the stories, about how he felt, about all that he hoped for. Having Theo just for himself was a curse and a blessing. A blessing because he knew things others would never know, and he felt like he was holding a piece of Theo’s story, of Theo’s heart, with him at all times. A curse because it meant no one could know about the green-eyed boy, his sweet smiles, and everything that he was hiding under his cool appearance.

No one would understand, Liam thought. How could they ? Theo was kind of a dick to people, even his friends. He never hesitated mocking Mason about his crushes, and lately, about his relationship with Corey. Theo was cool. He was in control. He knew how to act and to react in order to be appreciated.

Liam wished he could share how different Theo could be, laying on the bed of his truck in the middle of the forest.

He wished someone would understand.

But at the end of the day, he knew he would be alone.

* * *

October went swiftly, and Liam didn’t see the days pass by. Making sure to spend time with Mason, finding moments for Theo, training for Lacrosse and helping his parents became a second nature. He learnt how to be good at dealing with plannings, knowing who was where, and when. Maintaining appearances was a full-time job, but it was worth it when he could laugh so hard with Mason that his stomach would hurt for days. It was worth it when Theo kissed his forehead while asking him to choose a movie. It was worth it when the Coach made him co-captain with Nolan. It was also worth it when his mother told him how proud she was of him.

“I feel like you are really growing up, Liam. Making time for your friends, but also getting good grades. You are doing good.”

The disappointment of his first detention of the year was long gone. 

To Liam, it would always stand as the turning point in his relationship with Theo. But Jenna didn’t need to know that.

* * *

“What ?” Liam asked Theo, as they were laying in the grass, near the Hale’s house. The senior was smiling, looking at him like he knew all the secrets of Liam’s mind.

“You’re cute.”

Liam tried to control his blushing, but he failed, and he hid his face into his arm as Theo laughed at him.

“Stop this.”

“What ? Telling you you’re cute ? Nah.” Theo rolled on his stomach, closing the gap between them. “You’re more than cute Liam.”

“You only want me for my body”, he muttered, before kissing Theo on the cheek.

“It’s a nice addition to the rest.”

* * *

Liam closed Theo’s bedroom door behind him, and in a few steps, he was in front of the bed. Theo didn’t move, but the bed was big enough for four people, so it really didn’t matter. He let himself fall next to Theo, and felt an arm sneak around his waist.

“Mason’s asleep ?” Theo asked, in a sleepy voice.

“Yeah. I can’t stay too long. I might fall asleep too.” Liam tried to muffle a yawn.

He felt Theo’s hand against his stomach, and wondered what was going on, until he started feeling it. He tried to escape, a yelp escaping his mouth, but Theo was strong, and he kept on going.

“Stop. Tickling. Me.” Liam breathed out between two laughs. “Seri… Seriously… Gonna… Wake up… Theo !”

But Theo didn’t stop, and Liam was glad. He felt the phantom of Theo’s hands on him for days, and he heard his laugh in his dreams for weeks.

* * *

“Why did you get that detention ?”

Theo looked at Liam, from where he was sitting, against the wall of the English garden. “Hm ?”

“That first week ? I got detention because you took my bag. You never told me how you got sent there too.”

“Oh.”

Theo looked at the grass, and played with some longer strands, the tips of his fingers caressing the green. 

“Don’t remember.”

“Liar.” Liam called him out, with a small smile. It was incredible, how well he felt like he knew Theo. The fact that they had been friends before, friends that bickered, but friends nonetheless, had made their relationship so easy to fall in. Liam never hesitated pointing out Theo’s mistakes, and Theo felt comfortable just making fun of him for hours.

Theo sighed, but it was a soft sigh, like he already knew Liam wasn’t going to believe him, and there was only sweetness in his voice when he talked again.

“Fine. I might have tried to actually get that detention.”

Liam looked at him, brows furrowed.

“Why would you do that ?”

And then, Theo’s eyes gradually became a storm. They went from their clear green ocean, to a hurricane of emotion. Want. Need. Hope. Truth.

“I wanted to see you. Without Mason.”

Liam was left speechless. He had never thought about the possibility that the situation that led to their first kiss could have been orchestrated by Theo. 

“Why ?” He asked, still trying to read these eyes he was starting to know by heart. 

Theo had a small laugh, and looked at the sky. 

“You have to ask ?”

“I still can’t read your mind.” Liam said, while using his knees to come closer to Theo. He took his hand, lacing their fingers. He felt like he could never get enough of it. Enough of this, of them, of what they were and how they could be. 

Theo acknowledged the move, kissing him gently on the lips. Then, his face still close to Liam’s, he let his nose run around Liam’s cheek.

“That time, at the pool.”

“Ugh ?” Liam could only say, focused on how Theo was so close he could feel his breathing.

“You were sunbathing. And you were… You were you.” He kissed Liam again, with no heat. “And beautiful.” Another kiss, lingering a little longer. “And funny.” He played with Liam’s lips for a second, before adding “And smart”.

Liam was hypnotized, and what was being said didn’t seem to reach his mind. Still, he felt like it was almost a declaration. Especially when Theo ended with a way more intense kiss, one that he felt in his guts. 

“I just thought… Why not ? Why try to find someone perfect when I already knew who I needed ?”

Liam could have told Theo a lot of things about this. Especially, how, between the two of them, Theo was the handsome one, and the one with all the qualities. There was also the fact that apparently, Theo had planned on asking him out way before the idea crossed Liam’s mind. And then, there was the fact that Theo was telling Liam that he was perfect. As in, perfect for him. 

There were so many things Liam wanted to say. But rather than words, he knew that he needed to make Theo feel just the same as he did.

He pushed away his doubts, and his questions for the time being. This, this could be enough. 

\--

Mason had been so sorry when he had told Liam that he wasn’t able to drive him home that night. Corey was taking another class to better his grade, and as any lovestruck teenager would do, Mason had jumped on the occasion to stay with him. 

“You can still take my car.” Mason had offered. “Corey will bring me home. Maybe Theo can drive it, so he leaves it at my house ?”

And Liam, as a best friend, and someone who was slowly more and more into Theo, had accepted his fate.

He waited near the car, checking the different groups coming out of high-school, but he didn’t see Theo until he was almost in front of him.

“Hey. Mason texted me.”

Liam nodded, and looked at the people around them. It was not the place to say or do anything remotely suspicious, so he turned, and tried to open the door, before being faced with his own lack of planning.

“Shit. I didn’t ask Mason for his keys.”

“It’s alright, I have his spare. Here.” 

Theo offered him a bunch of keys, and Liam looked at them. “How can you have so many ?”

“You don’t ?” Theo asked, surprised. Then he looked at all the metallic pieces in Liam’s hand. “Well, uh, this one is for the house. This one is for the garage. This one is for my car, that’s Mason’s spare, oh and this one is for my bike lock. The small one there… Can’t remember.”

While checking the keys, his fingers were touching Liam’s palm, and he wondered if it was normal to notice this kind of details.

“This one is the spare for my dad’s car, because I took it to the garage and never gave it back. And this one…”

He was pointing one of the average keys, that seemed a little older than the rest. Liam waited for an answer, before looking into Theo’s eyes. There was something there, something he had only seen at the preserve.

“This one ?” He asked in a low voice. 

“It’s the key to my parent’s house. My birth parents. I found it in my things, and I kept it.”

_ Oh. _ Liam didn’t know what to say. He looked at the key, slowly making it move in his hand. How could a small thing hold so much value ? But Theo didn’t understand his silence.

“I know, I know, it’s weird. But I’m pretty sure they changed the locks, so it’s not like I would go and try to get in, or anything. Not that I would even if they hadn’t changed the locks ! You know I…”

“Theo.” Liam simply said, trying to show in his eyes everything he felt about this. “It’s not weird. At all. I think it’s kind of poetic.”

A small laugh answered him. “Okay. Well, we can go now.”

“Yeah.” Liam said, opening the door, and taking the driver’s seat. “We can.”

He had no idea how many pieces of himself Theo could offer him, and he wondered how many people knew about the key. He could almost feel it in his hand, burning, like a memory that couldn’t be forgotten. Liam wasn’t used to feeling special, and he never thought that someone sharing something so personal with him could be enough to make him feel this way. 

“Liam ? Do you plan on starting this car ?”

Liam looked around them, and saw that most of the students had left. Hidden behind the console of the car, he grabbed Theo’s hands. The other guy froze, before looking at him. “What is going on ?”

“Nothing. Just… Thank you.”

“For what ?”

Liam didn’t answer.

* * *

“God, Theo took my car again yesterday !” Mason complained, as they sat at the cafeteria table. “He has his truck, but no, Mister Needy wants my car when he goes to town.”

“Why did he go there ?” Liam asked, remembering the texts they had sent to each other the day before. Theo hadn’t mentioned anything particular. 

Mason looked at him, suddenly wary. “How would I know ? Probably went to see his last girlfriend. Or boyfriend. Don’t understand why he took my car though.”

“Me neither”, Liam said, his mind wandering. Why would Theo leave the Hewitt’s house, and most especially, why would he do so without explaining anything ? He didn’t expect Theo to tell him everything, but the fact that he went out, and didn’t feel like telling Liam left him with a sour taste on his tongue.

* * *

“Hey you.” Theo said, as he entered the empty locker room. Liam was still packing his bag, hair wet, and mind replaying his last move. He needed to get better. Maybe get some more practice. Corey had seemed interested in the idea. It could be a good way to have things to tell his mother. It was getting harder pretending to have  _ friends _ that his mother didn’t know. Him doing things with Corey would be perfect.

He turned just in time for Theo to kiss him at the base of his neck. Liam closed his eyes for a second, appreciating the contact.

“Hey. Thought you wouldn’t come.”

Theo arched an eyebrow.

“And why’s that ?”

“Heard you were going to that party tonight.”

Theo crossed his arms, before sitting on one of the benches. He leaned his head on the side, looking at Liam.

“Garrett’s party ?”

“Yeah.” Liam said, still trying to close his bag. “Thought you would be with your friends pregaming. Or something like that.”

He was focused on his bag, so he couldn’t see Theo’s face, but he heard him stand up, and he felt two arms against his waist, and Theo’s torso against his back.

“Is there a problem with the party, Li ?” Theo asked, before kissing him just under his ear, causing a shiver down Liam’s spine.

“No.” He whispered, his eyes closed despite his contained jealousy.

“You were the one who told me to keep things normal. I haven’t been to a party for… ages. Mason asked me about it and I couldn’t tell him I wasn’t going.”

Liam felt his anger deflate, as Theo’s kept him safely in his arms. He felt sheepish. He hadn’t liked the idea of Theo going, just like it was getting harder and harder to see him having fun with his friends. But Theo was right, and he had been the one insisting on keeping things just like they were.

“I’d love for you to come with me.” Theo whispered, next to his ear, before making Liam turn on himself.

“I wish I could come.” Liam answered, kissing him properly.

“You could.” Theo said, after he broke the kiss. “Come to the party. You could. I can get you in.”

“And then what ?” Liam asked, his eyes still on Theo’s lips. 

“We could have fun. Dance around. Talk.” Theo sounded like he could perfectly imagine them going together, and spending the night flirting. It sounded exactly like Liam would like things to be, with the exception of a certain detail.

“What about Mason ?” He wondered, and at that, Theo’s face seemed to fall. 

“Mason…” He sighed, before letting Liam go, and closing his bag in a smooth gesture. “Come on. He must be waiting in the car. I’ll tell him I went to the gym and saw you there.”

“You mocked me.” Liam added, before bringing Theo closer to him and kissing him one last time. “You mocked me when you saw me changing.”

Theo raised his eyes, and a flash of tiredness passed on his face

“Fine. I mocked you. Jesus, you are getting better at that lying thing. It’s almost frightening, you know ?”

* * *

Liam couldn’t help but check on Theo’s Facebook the next day. He wondered for a second if he would feel better seing no updates and having to imagine the party, or an innocent picture would be good enough.

To his surprise, Theo hadn’t posted a lot since the last time he went on his page. There were only three pictures. One was of Mason, bent in two, a large smile on his face, with the quote “ _ Talk less. Smile more. _ ”. The second was of the forest, and more especially a place he had started to know really well. The Hale’s house was not visible, but Liam knew it was there, just behind the corner of the picture. Theo had only written “ _It’s quiet uptown_.”, and he had posted it the day after they spent their Saturday there. 

The third one was dated to a few hours before. He recognized the Sheriff’s son, whose name was Style or something, Scott McCall, who used to be in the Lacrosse team, and Tracy. Tracy’s arms were around Theo’s neck, and she was wearing the shortest dress Liam had ever seen on a woman. Her lips were red, and her eyes dark. She was a little disheveled, and, looking closer at the picture, he noticed Theo was too.

The caption was short : “ _We’ll tell the story of tonight_.”

Liam closed the page, and then his computer. He walked in his room, trying to make his thoughts clearer. He could still see Tracy’s face, and the way she had looked in the picture. Clearly, she had been having a great time at the party, and according to Theo’s face, he had been too. And Liam knew he was the one who was responsible for Theo going there, but he had thought…

He had thought he would be the only one who would get to have Theo. And sharing was not his strong suit. 

_ I thought you weren’t a fan of Hamilton.  _ He texted Theo, before changing his mind.

Theo must have been sleeping, because the answer came back hours later. Liam almost missed it.

_ I never said I didn’t like the songs.  _

Liam didn’t answer. He focused on the episode of Grey’s Anatomy he was watching with David, who loved to point out all the inconsistencies in the tv-show. Liam had learnt to deal with it, and he even liked it. After eight seasons, he was even able to say some of the stuff before David told him. Like, how they showed a straight line before using a defibrillator. Apparently, that didn’t happen in real life. 

His phone beeped again.

_ Did you know that Jefferson really met Angelica in Paris ?  _

Liam smiled at that. 

* * *

“So… I was thinking…” Mason said to Liam as they were walking towards their Maths lesson. “We could go to the ‘Sinema’ this weekend. The club, obviously. Corey can get us in.”

Liam opened his mouth, ready to refuse, already not feeling like spending a night watching his best friend dance with Corey but Mason spoke before him.

“Liam, please. I know it’s hard for us to find time to see each other, and I really want to go with you. If Corey is the problem…”

“Corey isn’t the problem”, Liam said, even though he felt a little bit differently. The guy was spending more and more time with Mason, which meant Liam had time for Theo, but also that he had never spent so little time with his best friend. And Liam missed Mason.

“So, who is ?” Mason asked, looking confused.

“No one. I just don’t feel like going to a club.” Liam answered, and it was the truth. He didn’t see the interest right now. It was not like he needed to meet new people, or discover new things. He had Theo for that.

“Come on ! Pretty pretty please !” Mason looked at him with his best puppy face. “Don’t make me use the rules…”

The mention of said rules seemed to provoke an electrical surge in Liam’s body. The rules. He really didn’t want to think about them right now.

“Fine.”, he answered too quickly. Mason whooped, and took his phone, probably texting Corey about their new plans for the weekend.

* * *

_ So, you are going to the Sinema ? _

Liam looked at the text, trying to figure out how to deal with the situation. He didn’t want to tell Theo that he hadn’t wanted to go. He didn’t want to be the person who would choose Theo over a night with his best friend, even though that was how he had felt at the moment.

_ Yeah. Mason really wanted to. _

_ Cool. Never been there, I presume ? _

Liam sighed, and his mother looked at him.

“Liam, please, no phone at the table.”

“Sorry mom. Just need to answer that quickly.”

_ No. Not yet.  _

_ Just … Be careful. Don’t drink too much.  _

Liam tried to hide his phone on his thigh, and pretended he was really interested by his plate of mac and cheese.

_ I am not even legal yet. You aren’t either.  _

The answer was almost immediate.

_ Not really a problem at the Sinema. _

_ Just promise me you won’t. _

Liam didn’t like making promises he wasn’t sure to keep but this one seemed pretty easy.

_ Yeah, sure. _

* * *

As it seemed to be, Liam was really good at breaking promises. First, the vow he had made to Mason. Now, his text to Theo. Although, really, nothing was in fault. He hadn’t planned on drinking. But as soon as they entered the place, Corey took Mason to the dance-floor, and Liam felt too awkward to join them. He had looked around him, taking the whole place in, and noticing how people were  _ close _ to each other. He had stayed at the bar, and not even five minutes after his arrival, a guy was buying him a drink.

Guys seemed to like buying him drinks, he thought, while sipping on his fifth cocktail. It wasn’t his first time drinking, but it felt different here. He felt almost like an adult, around these people, and the more time passed, the more alcohol he drank, and the better he felt.

He looked at Mason, who was pressing close to Corey, and he smiled. That was good. Mason was happy. He could rest for a while, and for the first time since September, he could just be by himself.

“Hey pretty face. Wanna dance ?” A girl appeared in front of him, offering him her hand. She was pretty, really pretty, with big eyes, and a bright smile. He wondered what was the exact color of those eyes. He was pretty sure they were brown. Nothing could compare to Theo’s green, either way.

She was still waiting for him, and he finished his drink, before joining her on the dance-floor. He was far from being a good dancer, but she made it work for the both of them. She got closer, and closer, pushing her body against his, and he wondered where exactly he was supposed to put his hand. He had danced with girls before, and most especially with Hayden, but his body didn’t seem to comprehend the body in front of him anymore. He looked at her, sincerely sorry.

“I better…”

She didn’t even bother listening to his excuses, turning on her heels, surely trying to find a new victim. Er, partner. Liam waited a few seconds in the middle of the moving bodies, before deciding to go back to the bar.

“Can I buy you a drink ?”

A new guy was seated next to his chair, and Liam took his time, looking at his face. He was cute, a little older, and had a deep voice. Liam tried to focus on his face, but it was getting hard, the alcohol flowing in his system. 

“Sure.” He slurred, with a small smile. He was not one to refuse a new cocktail after all.

“I think it’s a bad idea.” Someone said, behind him, and Liam frowned because something in him recognized the voice. He turned on his chair, only to be faced with Theo. His first reaction was glee, because Theo had that effect on him, and he felt so loose at that moment, that he couldn’t really remember why having Theo around, in a room full of people, was dangerous.

“Theo !” He said, happily. He tried to get down the bar chair, but almost fell down. Theo was fast enough to steady him.

“Slow down. You’re clearly out of it.”

Theo’s tone was weird, Liam thought. He knew snarky Theo, mocking Theo, happy Theo, doubting Theo, but this one… This one he didn’t remember having heard. The senior was wearing dark jeans, and a blue shirt, and he looked quite reserved.

“You’re here.” Liam commented, with a small smile. But Theo didn’t smile back.

“Yeah, I’m here. And you’re also drunk.”

“Not really.” Liam tried to keep a straight face. He vaguely remembered promising not to drink too much, but he didn’t feel like he hadn’t kept true to his word. After all, he was still in control, and he could still keep a straight face. Theo, who still had a hand on his arm, sighed.

“Whatever. You want to go home ?”

Liam opened his mouth, ready to explain that he was having too much fun to leave the party, and that now that Theo was here, he had another reason to stay, but he was interrupted byt the arrival of Mason.

“Theo ?”

Both their heads snapped to look at the couple coming from the dance-floor, Corey’s arm around mason waist, their foreheads shining with sweat, but smiles on their faces. Theo let go of Liam’s arm, and faced his brother.

“Hey Mase.”

“What are you doing here ?” His brother asked, as Corey took a few steps towards the barman, probably ordering drinks.

“Stiles told me the gang would be here and I felt like going out. I didn’t remember that you were there too.”

His eyes were still looking at Liam between words, like he was trying to decide if the boy was able to stand alone. Mason didn’t look suspicious. He smiled at Theo.

“That’s cool. Did you find them ?”

“Hadn’t had time. Had to save Liam from a creepy guy.”

“He wasn’t creepy !” Liam interjected, but the words were slow in his mouth.

Theo looked at him, and for a second, he seemed almost upset.

“He was at least forty. And he is there every week, looking for some fresh meat.”

“I can handle myself.” Liam commented, before looking at Corey who was coming back with two drinks. “What are those ?”

“A Tequila Sunrise for Mason, and a club soda for me, as I am the one driving the both of you.”

Theo looked at his brother’s boyfriend, checking quickly the glass, before offering him a small smile.

“Good. Bring these two home in one piece, would you ?”

“... Yeah.” Corey answered, sounding unsure. Maybe he wasn’t used to Theo, Liam quickly thought. Who was really used to Theo, except Mason and him, after all ?

“So, do you see Stiles anywhere ?” Mason asked, looking at the dance-floor, and at the people seated on sofas across the rooms. The music was loud, the lights were not helping, and he didn’t seem to find his brother’s friend.

Theo looked around too, before taking his phone from his back pocket. He seemed to have looked at it for a while, and then, he hummed.

“Oh. Looks like he already found someone to go home with.”

Mason arched an eyebrow, while taking a sip of his cocktail.

“That sucks. He could have at least waited for you. You drove all the way here for him, right ?”

Theo nodded, with a small smile.

“I guess that happens. Don’t blame the guy. It’s a rarity for him to find someone able to listen to his rambling for more than two minutes. If he did, he better give that person the ride of his life and make sure not to lose them.”

Mason laughed at that. He looked so happy, so carefree, like the fact that all the people around him were part of who he was. 

“Well, I think that’s the first time the four of us are together, right ? I mean, at the same place, at the same time. You should stay Theo. Have some fun. I know you haven’t gone out for ages.”

“I went out last week.” The senior answered, but he looked at Liam again. “Yeah, maybe I’ll stick around. I think I saw one of my friends from middle school near the DJ. Have to go say hi.”

And he left the three of them alone, as Mason looked at Corey sheepishly. “Sorry. I swear he likes you. I don’t know why he acts like this all the time.”

“What do you mean ?” Liam asked, suddenly interested. This was a new development.

Mason sighed heavily, and his face dropped a little bit.

“Every single time Corey comes around, Theo is like… Nowhere to be seen. He always finds some kind of excuses to leave, or he doesn’t feel like watching a movie, or he suddenly has to go out with his  _ friends.  _ I mean, I even asked him. I asked him if he had a problem with Corey, and he said no. He even said he likes him. I just… I don’t know, maybe seeing us together is making him feel weird ?”

And Liam didn’t know what to answer, because he knew exactly why Theo had been acting like that. He knew perfectly well where Theo had been, most of these times, and with whom. They had taken advantage of every single time Corey had been distracting Mason, sometimes even in the same house as they were. But even drunk, he knew he couldn’t tell his best-friend that.

“Yeah, that sucks.” He finally said, offering a small smile to Corey. “I like you too, by the way. It’s good not to have Mason crying around because you wouldn’t look at him, anymore.”

“Liam !” Mason cried, while blushing a little. “That’s not true, by the way. I never… I liked you but I wasn’t  _ crying. _ ”

Corey smiled at his boyfriend, and kissed him softly. 

“That’s actually cute Mason. Don’t worry.” Then, he looked at Liam with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Thanks man. I like you too. I know how much you mean to Mason.”

Liam nodded, before looking at the bar, wondering if he still had a drink around. Apparently, he didn’t, and that was a problem. He was about to call the barman over, when Mason grabbed his arm.

“Maybe you should have some water Liam.”

Liam frowned.

“Nah, I think I’m good. Also those Long Island Iced Teas are so good.”

Mason grabbed his arm, and looked at him for a second. 

“Seriously, Li. I love you and everything, but I think you should take a break. Come dancing.”

“I don’t want to dance.” Liam groaned. “I don’t like dancing. I’m fine, Mase. Really.”

Mason didn’t seem convinced, and he looked at Corey for some support. The guy seemed to hesitate, as he always did when having to take a stand. At least, that’s what Liam had seen of him so far. And they played Lacrosse together, so he had quite some experience of dealing with him. 

“I think Mason is right.” Corey finally said. “If you don’t want to dance, that’s fine, but you should have a glass of water. You’ll have a killing headache tomorrow otherwise.”

Liam sighed, and signaled the barman, who took a few seconds to come to him. 

“I’ll have water.”

And then, with a smile, he added. 

“With a shot of vodka.”

“Liam !” Mason shouted next to him. “Don’t bring him that.” He instructed the barman, before turning to his friend. “What is going on with you ?”.

And at that, Liam wanted to answer a lot of things. First, he was living a lie, and it was getting very tiresome. Second, he was freaking in love with Theodore Raeken, an idea that hit him like a train every single time he thought about Mason’s brother. And third, it was his first time at a club, and he wanted to enjoy himself.

But most of these things were exactly the reason why he couldn’t answer Mason’s question. He hated it. For a second, he hated himself. His will to go on seemed to die slowly, and he felt his shoulders go down.

“Sorry.” He said in a small voice. “You’re right.”

“Is everything okay ?”

Theo appeared at his right, looking at the three of them. Great. He had probably witnessed Liam being an idiot from afar. 

Mason hesitated, before answering. “Yeah. Everything is fine.”

But Theo didn’t seem convinced. He looked at Liam again, and he might have noticed the way his eyes were wary now, because he offered “I can take Liam home.”

The junior looked at him, and then at Mason. 

“Nah, I’m good.”

“Theo’s right”, Corey said. “We should go home.”

“No, please. I didn’t want to kill the mood.” Liam tried to explain, and he felt his cheeks flush. “Seriously guys, I’m fine. Go back to dancing.”

Mason grabbed his shoulder, and smiled at him.

“We can come dancing another day. We’ll get you home.”

But Theo coughed next to him, and Mason looked at his brother expectantly.

“I am not staying. Stiles is gone, and I don’t feel like hanging around Malia. Who is Scott’s girlfriend now. Long story. You should stay and spend the night with your boyfriend Mase. I’ll make sure to bring this one home safely.”

Mason seemed to weigh the pros and the cons, looking at Corey, and then at his brother.

“You sure ?”

“Absolutely.”

Both Hewitt’s brother exchanged a smile, and Mason’s hand left Liam’s shoulder to lace his fingers with his boyfriend.

“Thanks Theo. Really.”

“No worries.”

Liam felt like an outsider to this whole conversation, and he blamed the alcohol, the loud music, and Theo for it.

“I’m not some kind of basket case that needs to be taken care of.” He said, in a voice that tried to be sure, but sounded weak.

Theo only looked at him, before sighing a little. “No, you’re not. Still, you are going home. With me. Let’s go.”

And Liam followed him, because what else could he do, after a small gesture to his best friend who was looking at him leaving, with a frown on his face.

* * *

They left the place in silence, and Theo showed him towards his car. Liam fumbled with a handle for a second, but he succeeded in getting in. 

“Your seat-belt.” Theo said, coldly.

Liam looked at him, brows furrowing.

“Are you angry ?”

And at that, Theo scoffed. He didn’t look at Liam first, turning on the ignition, and switching the lights on. Liam could see on his face a war raging on, and he didn’t even want to think of what he would see if he was faced with his eyes. In the end, Theo looked at him, the car still parked.

“I’m not angry. I’m pissed.”

Liam’s eyes widened up.

“But… Why ?”

Theo crossed his arms.

“You seriously have to ask ? Liam. I told you to be careful, and what happened ? You were drunk, and you didn’t even care who was buying you drinks. Guys don’t buy other guy’s drinks just because they like their smile, or whatever. What did you think was going to happen ?”

And Liam tried to remember, but he couldn’t get the faces of the men who had been buying him right. He felt his cheeks getting warm. He didn’t like that Theo was right.

“I was just trying to have fun.” He said, in a small voice, avoiding Theo’s eyes. He looked at the ‘Sinema’ sign, and how bright it was in the night. “I wanted to spend a great night with Mason. And Corey, I guess.”

“And I’m all for it. But you behaved like a dumbass, you got way too drunk to know what you were doing, and you worried your friends.” Theo said, like a reproach.

Liam frowned, and looked at him again.

“Were you worried ?”

Theo didn’t answer, but his eyes were right in front of Liam’s, and he couldn’t escape the storm inside. He seemed to take his time, opening his mouth a few times, before closing it, like the words didn’t want to come right.

And then, he lowered his eyes to his hands, which Liam only noticed now, were shaking a little.

“I was terrified.”

It sounded like a declaration, and Liam felt a little more sober immediately. He had never wanted to worry anyone, but knowing that he had caused Theo such a feeling was painful. He hated it. He was already realizing how his behavior had been out of control. He hoped that Mason and Corey wouldn’t hold it against him, but at that moment, all that counted was Theo.

Slowly, he took the shaking hands in his. 

“I’m sorry.”

Theo breathed out. “Yeah.”

“Seriously, Theo, I’m sorry. You are right. I was… I am drunk. You warned me about this and I still behaved like a total dickhead.” Theo smiled at that, but his eyes were still down, and Liam wanted nothing more than being able to read him like the open book he was used to. He let his index run against Theo’s palm, and repeated. “I’m sorry, Theo.” 

That seemed to calm Theo down, as he finally let go of Liam’s hands, apparently deciding to drive them out.

Liam faced the road too, and he switched on the radio. They left the parking lot, and Theo started driving on the main road, driving slowly towards Beacon Hills. Liam felt his hand become heavier, but he didn’t want to fall asleep. He still felt bad about the whole thing. 

“I wish we could have danced together.” He whispered, and Theo looked at him for a second. A flirty smile appeared on his worned out face.

“Yeah ?”

“Yeah.” Liam smiled. “I’m sure you are a sup... Superb dancer.”

Theo laughed. “I wouldn’t say superb. But… I’d love to dance with you.”

Liam looked at him, and an idea came creeping in his mind. “Stop the car.”

“... Hm ?” Theo muttered.

“I said, stop the car.”

“Why would I…”

“Please. Trust me ?”

Theo looked at him, for what felt like a long moment, before slowing down, and using his blinkers to grant Liam’s wish. He stopped on the side of the road. Liam leant over to push some buttons on the radio, before getting rid of his seatbelt, and opening his door. Once he was standing outside the car, he waited for Theo to do the same. The senior was looking at him, trying to understand what was going on. Seeing that he wasn’t moving, Liam waked around the car to open Theo’s door. Then, he offered him his hand.

“Dance with me ?”

“You are crazy.”

“You like my crazy.”

Theo didn’t answer, but his face became lighter, and he got rid of his seat-belt too, hoping outside the car. He took Liam’s hand, and let the junior walk him in front of the car. The music escaping the truck was slow, and nice. But when Theo’s listened to it, he couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow.

“Ed Sheeran, seriously ?”

“I couldn’t have you on  _ Shape of you _ and this one is nicer.”

Theo didn’t comment on how  _ Perfect _ was full of meaning. He didn’t say anything about the words of the song, about the love that it described. He let Liam’s hands enclose his waist, and he mirrored the position.

“This is…” Theo commented, but Liam shushed him. He brought him closer, and tucked his head against Theo’s shoulder. He was still feeling the buzz of the cocktails, but the feeling was nicer, and he could smell Theo’s soap, and just everything that made him who he was. He closed his eyes, and started swaying along the music, and he felt Theo’s body move against his. He felt Theo’s hands closing around him, and settled on his lower back. 

It felt good. It felt right. He had slow danced before, but never like this. Maybe the floor was a little bit uneven, and the fact that they were on the side of the road didn’t make the place the most romantic one, but he had Theo, the night around them, and the slow music to make the atmosphere almost eary. He felt Theo’s body loosen, and he smiled against his cheek. They swayed for a while, and Liam wished it could have lasted longer, but he tried to commit every second of it to his memory. He didn’t know about tomorrow, but he knew that, at this instant, they were just right where they needed to be. 

“I don’t want to lose you.” He admitted in a whisper, and Theo froze for a second, but he seemed to recover quickly, and one of his hands left Liam’s back to reach his neck, caressing it with care.

“You won’t have to.”

For a second, Liam let himself believe him. For an instant, he imagined everything would go well. He didn’t think about Mason, about the other people, and about their families. He just thought about having Theo for as long as he wanted him. His heart burst with contentment. That would be good.

Tomorrow might bring problems, and questions again. Maybe a hangover too. But Liam chose not to think about it for the moment. He moved his head a little, and he felt Theo’s lips against his temple. He smiled in Theo’s shoulder, and closed his eyes again. 

He finally understood that quote. The one Mason kept writing everywhere when he had his  _ Perks of Being a Wallflower  _ phase, after  _ Twilight _ and before  _ The Fault in Our Stars. _

_ And at that moment, I swear we were infinite. _


	4. Burn

Liam woke up to a few texts from Mason, asking him if he was alright, and he answered them quickly. Then, he tried to leave his bed, only to be reminded of his night by a horrible headache. His mouth was dry, and even though he had brushed his teeth before falling into bed, he still had the aftertaste of the cocktails he had drank.

He took the bottle of water next to his bed, and drank a few sips. He felt pretty awful, and at the same time, he kept on thinking about that moment, out there, with Theo. Like every single time they were together, he had felt like everything was alright.

But now, laying in bed with the hangover of a lifetime, anxiety was starting to slowly creep up on him. He had been lucky, because with how drunk he had been, he could have easily made a mistake, and Mason had been there. He wondered what would have happened if instead of just looking at Theo, at the club, he had kissed him. He was pretty sure the night would have been over, and Mason would have killed him.

They had never been this close to being discovered before. And it was not exciting. It was horrifying. Liam didn’t want Mason to look at him, and to discover he had been lied to. He didn’t want to have to explain how he didn’t plan any of this, how things just went the way they were. 

He took a look back at these last few weeks, and tried to count the number of times he had lied, or Theo had lied. The number of times he had pretended to be with people he didn’t know, or at places he never went. The number kept growing with every memory, and Liam felt sick in his stomach.

This was wrong. This was so wrong.

He wondered if Theo felt the same way. How did he deal with lying to his own brother ? After all, Liam had been the one insisting they did so. Theo hadn’t been happy, in the beginning. He had mocked that rule, he remembered. But maybe Theo liked the adrenaline that came with a secret relationship.

Oh. It was starting to make sense, as Liam’s head was getting heavier and heavier.

He had wondered so many times when Theo would get bored with him. He knew the guy, or at least, he knew what other students had told him about Theo, and what Mason was sometimes complaining about. He liked having new people around him. He liked inviting guys and girls into his room. Liam had known since the beginning that he wasn’t the first. But it never occurred to him to ask himself why Theo kept coming back. He had accepted that fact, because he liked it, and he liked Theo. Well, he was kind of over just liking Theo. But he hadn’t wanted to ask himself the question. 

Maybe because the answer was obvious. The only reason why Theo kept coming back was the excitement. The risk of being caught.

A small part of his brain tried to fight that idea. Some memories were coming back. How Theo had confided in him, about his past and the accident. How he had looked absolutely wrecked at the idea of Liam going with that guy, the night before. How he had always been so soft, and so understanding. 

But how could Liam forget that Theo was a player, and how this whole situation was just another game for him ? He was good, Liam could give him that. He knew how to pull on Liam’s heartstrings. He knew what to say to make him feel weak. Maybe this whole thing was just another role he has chosen to endorse.

Liam felt his throat close up. 

This was getting too dangerous. Too dangerous because of Mason. Too dangerous because of Theo. He didn’t want to be the one left behind once, and it would happen, Theo felt like leaving him. 

Liam had loved the dream he had lived in for a while. Loved it, and hated it at the same time. But he knew that with every day passing, it was going to get worse, and worse, until nothing could be done.

He could still forget about this whole thing. Forget about Theo, about their trips, about how good it had felt to be in his arms. After all, he had gotten over all his exes before, and he couldn’t even qualify Theo as an ex. He would be fine. And Theo would be free to start something new with someone else.

He could go back to normal, and go back to being a good best friend. Mason would never have to know. 

Yes, that was the plan.

He tried to ignore how his heart felt. He was sick, and blaming the alcohol for that.

Sometimes, it was easier to just pretend.

* * *

Liam asked Theo to meet him at the preserve sign. It felt weird, taking his mother’s car there. The road was not muddy anymore, it hadn’t rained in days. He was there early, and he tried to keep his heart from beating too fast, but the anxiety was getting the best of him.

When finally, Theo’s truck appeared, he took a long breath, and left the car to wait in front of the path they had walked so many times.

Theo was walking in his direction, looking concerned.

“Is everything okay ?” He asked, as he was getting closer. “Your text was kind of abrupt.”

He didn’t stop when facing Liam, and brought a hand to his waist. Liam had to shy away from the contact. Theo’s face went from worried, to uneasy.

“I just need… I need to talk to you.” Liam explained. He tried to look anywhere that wasn’t Theo’s face, or worse his eyes. “I think… I think we should stop this.”

Theo didn’t say anything, and as Liam was currently avoiding looking at him, he couldn’t try to read his thoughts. But the wind was the only noise breaking the calm of the forest, and he knew he had to make sure he was understood.

“This… Us. It can’t go on, and I should have stopped it earlier. It’s messed up. I’m lying to Mason, you’re lying to Mason, and we are both in over our heads. And I can’t keep up. I think it’s time for us to…”

“Are you fucking kidding me ?” Theo interrupted, his tone low, and his words heavy. “Liam. Look at me.”

Liam took a step back, before lowering his eyes.

“No. I won’t. I can’t. Because every time I do, I lose it. You got me right where you wanted Theo.”

“Where I… What are you talking about ?”

“It was fun, right ?” Liam said, fast. The words were rushing through his lips. “We had fun. You had fun. But this can’t go on and…”

“You think this was fun ?” Theo said harshly, and for a second, Liam went to meet his eyes. Bad idea. The storm of emotions was there, but it was nothing like it had been before. There was anger, hot and flushing anger. There was a pang of pain, too, on his face. “Fun ? You think… I knew it. I should have known. I knew you would end up doing this.”

“Yes, you knew.” Liam said, looking at the sign again. “You knew, and I knew and…”

“Are you telling me that this whole time, you were thinking about the day you would end it ?” Theo asked, like he couldn’t believe Liam’s words.

“No. Yes. Maybe. I guess I knew one day… I mean.”

“You were the one who wanted to talk. So talk. Make sense of this.” Theo almost growled. “If you are sure of yourself, say it. Say those fucking words you’ve been waiting so long to say.”

Liam took a long breath, before saying, in a low voice.

“I don’t want to be with you anymore, Theo.” 

There was no answer. And the wind was not blowing enough for him to miss the way Theo seemed to stop breathing. Liam felt his eyes sting. He waited, and waited, but Theo was not moving, and not talking. So, in the end, he decided to finally face him.

He wished he hadn’t. 

Theo was looking at him like he couldn’t believe the person in front of him. And Liam hated it. He wanted Theo to look at him like he used to, with care, and interest, and even a little bit of surprise. But he knew that he couldn’t ask for that. 

“Theo…”

“No. Just… No.”

It sounded like a plea, and it broke Liam’s heart in a million pieces. Theo was trying to hold himself together, his fists tight against his thighs, and his face held high. His eyes were darker than they ever were. 

“I just…”

“Shut up. Just… Shut up.” 

Theo’s voice broke up, and he closed his eyes. He breathed in, a rasp inspiration, before opening them again.

“You win, Liam. You’ve got what you wanted. I was… I was just stupid enough to believe…”

He stopped himself, a tick agitating his lips. Then, he shook his head, and opened his hands. His shoulders were tight, and he took a step back. 

“You act like you are this nice guy, and like you care. Well let me tell you something. You are just a poor little kid who likes to play around, and you don’t worry about anyone but yourself.”

“That’s…”

“Shut up. Just, for once, shut up Liam. You’ve done enough. You’ve said enough. I don’t even want to hear your voice anymore. Just… Shut up.”

And Theo looked at him for one last time, and the way his face was wrecked would be in Liam’s head for weeks after this conversation, because he had never seen Theo so broken. There were no more words exchanged, nothing else to say. Theo turned, and walked to his car. Liam closed his eyes, unable to watch him go.

He had known this was coming, from the beginning. He should have been ready.

But it hurt more than he ever thought it would. He felt like a piece of him was leaving, like memories were slowly ripped off his brain, tainted black by Theo’s last look at him. He had finally done it, he had taken the leap, just like he always knew he would.

He felt his legs shake under him, and he tried to sit down, only to meet the ground harder than he expected. He stayed there, near the sign, so close to the place where he had spent hours talking to Theo. 

He was not ready to forget. He was not ready to let go.

But he had said those words, and he had done what had to be done.

He just needed a few days to get over how terrible this felt.

* * *

Time seemed to still. Days were passing by, November starting, and with it, winter started to lay its hands on Beacon Hills. Liam didn’t really care. To be honest, he didn’t care about a lot of things these days.

He spent most of his time with Mason, at his own house. He found all the reasons not to go to the Hewitt’s, and when he went, he never saw Theo there. It was probably for the best. 

Mason and Corey were going more than steady, and Liam found himself third wheeling quite a lot. But, just like the rest of what was happening to him these days, he couldn’t find in himself to care. He was numbed. He was still able to smile at people, but he knew it didn’t reach his eyes. He made jokes, and watched movies, played video games with Mason, and even offered to play Lacrosse with Corey. But as soon as he was home, alone, in his bedroom, a strange feeling of loss took its toll on him. 

He spent hours laying in his bed, trying to think about anything else than the beginning of the year. He planned tactics for Lacrosse, and re imagined every single attack he could do. His grades became better, as he spent every single moment of his day trying to fill the void, and homework was almost welcome.

In the morning, Mason came to get him. The first day, he had explained to Liam that Theo apparently wanted to work out at the gym  _ before  _ school, which meant he couldn’t take them anymore. Liam didn’t know if it made him feel better, or worse. The only thing he knew was that he was glad he didn’t have to pretend that everything with Theo was okay in front of Mason. 

It felt kind of good, having his best friend back, and knowing he wasn’t lying anymore. He didn’t have to think of excuses, and he didn’t have to always look behind his shoulder. Still, the relief was not enough to cover the pain of loneliness. Because, even next to Mason and Corey, even when playing Lacrosse and being praised by the other players of his team and the Coach, Liam felt lonely. 

He didn’t dare look at Theo’s Facebook, or ask for any information. He saw Louise a few times, and she didn’t say anything about his older boy. Mason sometimes mentioned how he spent a lot of time outside, and how much partying was going on. Liam was glad, because it meant he had been right. Theo didn’t need him, not like Liam needed him.

He saw Theo, sometimes, at the school. The both of them made sure not to look at each other, which was probably puerile, but Liam preferred it that way. Sometimes, when he closed his eyes, he could still see the way Theo had looked at him at the preserve. Some nights, he dreamt about that scene again. He always woke up in a sweat, like his body hadn’t accepted what had happened there. So, he tried to forget. 

Weeks passed, and memories became blurred in his mind. He couldn’t remember exactly what day of the week he had gone to the preserve for the first time. He couldn’t remember how it had felt, kissing Theo again and again under the rain. The lingering memories were the worst, because he could only remember the painful ones. He wished he could just get brainwashed, and start the year again, not making so many mistakes, and getting so lost in his head.

At least Theo was fine, he told himself. At least, he hadn’t destroyed him. He hadn’t ruined his relationship with Mason. Theo was fine, and he was still around his friends. Theo was partying, and coming home drunk, and Mason was sometimes a little bit worried for his brother, but he seemed to blame the schoolwork, and the decisions Theo had to make as a senior. “He has to enjoy his last year here”, Mason told Liam, when they saw Theo sporting sunglasses at the end of November, clearly hiding away his lack of sleep, or his hangover. Or maybe the both of them.

Liam's world seemed to turn slowlier every single day, and he hated it. But he tried his best, and he hoped, at some point, things would get better. At one point, he would have to find happiness again. After all, it had only been two months. What could two months mean in his life, when he had known Mason for seventeen years ? 

He had no idea the worst was yet to come.

But like always, Liam walked straight into hell without missing a step.

* * *

  
  


Liam left the warmth of the school for the fresh air of December. Students were mostly going towards the school bus stop, or their car, but he had promised to help Corey practice, so he took the direction of the field, his sport bag under his arm. He crossed the parking, and noticed Theo’s car was still there. He remembered that the senior had AP biology as his last class, so he had probably stayed behind to ask questions, or help the teacher. Theo and biology.

He passed next to the bleachers, and stopped when he saw two people hiding under them. With a laugh, he made himself known to Corey and Mason, who were engaged in their favorite activity -with the exception of looking at each other with small hearts in their eyes.

“Is that how you warm up Corey ?” Liam asked, a smile on his face.

The other player had the decency to shy away from Mason for a second.

“Sorry I was just …”

“I’m motivating him.” Mason interrupted, before adjusting Corey’s scarf. “I think I still need a minute or two to be sure he is at his top level.”

“Sure” Liam answered. “See you in a few Corey”.

The smile he had on his face didn’t leave him as he walked in the direction of the changing room. Despite his own love life being a wreck, he still found in himself to be happy for Mason. His best friend deserved someone nice, who would take care of him, and clearly, Corey was in love with him. After the time Mason had spent looking at the guy from afar, it was satisfying to know it all ended up being for something. 

Liam was opening his bag when he started hearing screaming outside. First, he didn’t really pay attention as students usually had fun at the end of the day, and some could be pretty noisy. But then, he recognized Mason’s voice, and his blood became cold.

He started running to the bleachers, as fast as possible, and the screaming became even louder, breaking his heart with every second. Mason was shouting, and he was clearly upset, but with the wind around him, and the noise he made breathing through his jog, it was hard to get what this was all about.

When Liam arrived next to Mason, he finally understood what was making his best friend lose his mind. On the floor, Garett was punching Corey in the face, repeatedly. Mason was trying to get him off his boyfriend, despite having been hurt too, the blood under his nose a testament to his trying. 

“You little  _ fag _ .”

It had been a long time since Liam had felt the anger kick in so fast, and so hard. In one second, he felt his whole body roaring, ready to take on whoever was in front of him. He pushed Mason to the side, and grabbed Garett’s collar, holding him away from Corey. But Garett was not ready to give up, and he spinned, sending his fist in Liam’s stomach. Liam didn’t even feel it, the anger taking all the room left in his brain, but he punched back, hard. Garett bent in two, clearly hurt, and Liam took advantage of the situation by sending his knee in his face. The guy fell on the cold ground, and Liam followed, almost sitting on him, and punching him in the face.

He could hear Mason next to him, trying to stop him, but he knew better. He knew that he had to make sure Garett would never hurt anyone again. So, he kept on punching him, hurting his fists in the process, his blood mixing with Garett’s blood. 

Red. Everything was red. But it felt good. it felt right.

Liam had no idea how much time had passed since he had sent Garett to the ground. He just knew that in this moment, he was right where he was supposed to be. And then, without warning, he felt himself being hauled up from the ground, and from garett’s body. He tried to free himself, but someone had his arms around his torso, and was trying to keep him away from his victim. Liam kicked, and tried to punch whoever was getting involved in  _ his _ situation, but to no avail. The person was not bulging.

“... Liam. Please”

The voice was coming from very far away, but a part of him was able to recognize the tone. He knew this person. And even if he hated him for keeping him away from his goal, making sure Garett would not attack anyone ever again, a part of him was also responsive to it.

“Not worth it… Come on. Calm down now.”

Liam was still trying to free himself, but he had less and less strength, as his opposant was not bulging. And with every sentence, he felt the anger deflate. 

“Please, Liam. You have to calm down.”

The arms around him were less hard, and felt more and more like an embrace. And then, his sense of smell kicked in, and he recognized the soap, and the pricey aftershave.

Theo.

Theo was the one trying to calm him down. He felt his hands against his shoulders, and his arms keeping Liam’s back against his torso. He finally decided to listen to whatever was being said.

“Liam. Good. Breathe in, and out. It’s okay. I promise it’s okay.”

_ Why wouldn’t it be…. _

Oh. As Liam was calming down, his eyes ended up on Garret’s body, out cold on the floor. He was not moving anymore, and Mason had kneeled next to him, apparently checking his vitals.

Oh. No.

Liam felt the fight leave him as quick as it had taken over. He let himself fall against Theo’s torso, and he was thankful for his arms keeping him upright, because he would probably have fallen too if Theo hadn’t kept him against his body.

_ Oh no. _

He looked at the blood, at Garett’s face, his apparently broken nose, and then, at his bloody fists.

“It’s okay Liam. It’s okay.” Theo whispered in his ear, now letting him breathe a little easier. His hands became softer on his body. “It’s okay. You stopped. It’s okay.”

Liam felt his shoulders moving, and wondered what was happening to him. He received an answer as he felt the tears rolling on his cheeks. Slowly, he started sobbing, trying to clean his hands against his pants. Theo moved around him, now between the body and Liam, and that time, he only hugged him. Liam let his head fall against in Theo’s neck, hiding the tears that were now streaming on his face. He heard Theo trying to comfort him, and it made the whole thing even more painful.

“You’re okay Liam. I’m there. I’m right with you. Shhhhh” Theo said softly, before kissing the top of his head. He let Liam hide against him, as people started rushing around them, and teachers were called. He didn’t let go as people started screaming at the state of Garett, and kept on talking in Liam’s ear, gentle words of understanding, and promises he probably couldn’t keep. 

In the end, Mrs Martin arrived, and took control of the situation. Liam didn’t really pay attention. The only thing he felt was lost, and it didn’t help that the principal asked Theo to step away from him. He kept his head low, so tempted to run far away from this place, and from the other students looking at him like he was a monster. Which was probably true. He couldn’t even muster the strength to ask if Garett was okay. Then, he remembered Corey, and Mason, and tried to wipe his eyes with his sleeve. But when he finally looked at Mason’s face, it wasn’t worry, or pain that he was faced with.

Mason was looking at Theo, a frown on his face, like he was taking into account the scene he had just witnessed. And then, he looked at Liam, and what he saw seemed to comfort him in his theory. Liam could almost see his brain working hard, like he was solving a very difficult equation. His eyes went from his brother to his best friend a few times, before doubt started appearing on his face. A last look at Liam, whose eyes were still full of tears, and at Theo’s hand, who was still in his neck, seemed to consolidate his idea. He opened his mouth, looking at Liam, and then at Theo. And when he faced Liam again, there was no more reflexion in his eyes. Only horror, anger, and something broken.

Now, Mason knew. 

Everything happens for a reason, Jenna had said. 

Well, Liam didn’t know the reason for his life being ripped apart under the cover of the old bleachers of his high school.

* * *

  
  


It was hard to keep the notion of time, and Liam let himself be walked around by Mrs Morell. He noticed in a corner of his mind that a few teachers were around him, talking in hushed voices. He sat when they told him too, waited like they said he should, and looked at the floor of the corridor. He tried not to look at his hands, where the blood was still drying, and managed to get rid of the last tears in his eyes. He needed to be strong. He needed to take the control back. 

Slowly, he was able to understand that he was waiting in an empty classroom with his English teacher in front of him. He hadn’t listened to what she had said a few minutes earlier, so he tried to understand what was going to happen now.

He had hurt Garett pretty badly, Mrs Martin had probably called his parents. He was going to be expelled. His mother was going to kill him, for real this time. 

But what Liam couldn’t seem to forget was Mason’s face, as he had looked at Theo and him. Clearly, he had made the maths, and Liam was not ready to be faced with the consequences of his actions. He didn’t want to lie to Mason again, so he would probably have to be honest. Which meant he would have to explain to his best friend how he lied to him for weeks, how he came to his house and waited for him to be asleep only to leave his room for Theo’s, how he had pretended to be grounded, how bad he had it for the senior. The fact that he had ended his relationship with Theo might play in his favor, but every time he remembered Mason’s face, his heart fell into his stomach. It was not the face of someone who was ready to listen and maybe understand. 

“Liam ? Mrs Martin will see you now.”

He swallowed hard, but nodded sheepishly. He tried to make himself the smallest he could, while walking next to Mrs Morell in the empty corridor of the school. And when she opened the door of the principal’s office, he was faced with a few of his nightmares at the same place.

“Liam !’

His mother was on him in a second, checking his face, his hands, his whole body, before hugging him with all her strength.

“I’m sorry”, he whispered, trying to contain the tears again. “I’m so sorry mom.”

“... I know.” She answered, still holding him against her heart. “I know sweetheart.”

She let him go, and he was able to see the other people waiting in the room. Louise was there, next to her two sons. Theo was looking by the window, clearly giving Liam some space, while Mason was focused on a point in front of him, like he was keeping himself from looking at Liam, which was probably the case. 

“Let’s sit.” Mrs Martin offered, and Jenna took Liam’s bloody hand without hesitation, helping him to a chair. 

The principal looked tired, and stressed. She was fidgeting, and her eyes didn’t seem to stop on anyone. In the end, she sighed.

“Let’s get this over with. I would have preferred having everyone here, but you have to know both Corey and Garett have been sent to the hospital.”

“Is Corey okay ?” Mason asked, in a small voice, and Liam had to fight his instinct to take his hand and try to comfort him. Mason’s hands were on his thighs, like he was also trying to keep himself from reaching for someone.

“Yes, he is. He probably has a broken nose, and we are making sure he doesn’t have a concussion, but he was fine enough to give me his statement before leaving. We are more worried about Garett.”

Liam couldn’t help but let a small noise escape his throat. He felt his mother’s hand tighten around his. Mrs Martin looked at him, the harshness of her voice reflected in her eyes.

“Garret did lose consciousness during this… fight. He woke up in the ambulance. We still are waiting to hear from the hospital, but the paramedics suspected some broken ribs, and maybe a broken jaw. A broken jaw ! Which means he could not eat for weeks !”

Liam looked at his feet, the memory of Garrett’s body floating in front of his eyes. 

“This is really serious. I think these are the worst injuries I have ever seen in this school, and I do take into account the fact that Lacrosse is dangerous. Liam. You could have killed Garrett. Do you understand that ?”

He nodded slowly, refusing to look at anything else than the floor.

“Use your words Liam.” Nathalie Martin said, her voice cold. 

“Yes, I understand.” He whispered. 

“Liam was trying to help Corey.” Theo’s voice raised from the other side of the room. “Garett started it all !”

Liam turned, to be faced with the whole Hewitt family, as they all mirrored Mrs Martin's move and looked at Theo.

“Theodore, please. You are lucky every person there saw that you didn’t attack anyone. I could still consider you an accomplice, as you didn’t even try to help Garett.”

“I helped him. I didn’t let Liam continue punching him. And you know what ?” Theo sounded angry, suddenly, and his fists were tight against his legs. “Maybe I should have joined.”

“Theo !” His mother said, worried. “Don’t…”

“What now ? The guy attacked Corey just because he was kissing Mason. What if it had been the contrary ? What if Mason had been the one being beaten up ?”

Louise was ready to answer, but the principal was quicker.

“Let’s not forget what really happened, please. No one attacked Mason.”

“I hope Corey’s parents go to the police.” Theo only answered, before shooting a quick look at his brother. “And I hope you are planning Garett’s exclusion.”

Mrs Martin sighed, her eyes quickly coming back on Liam.

“Garrett is also a victim here. His parents could decide to file a complaint against Liam.”

“That’s not the school’s problem”, Jenna answered. “What happens at the police station between this boy and my son is none of your concern.”

“Indeed.” Mrs Martin agreed. “But I have to take any measures I feel are needed to protect my students.”

“Then where were you when Garett decided to punch Corey ?” Mason asked, his voice still unsure. He had always held Mrs Martin in high esteem, and going against her seemed to be the hardest thing he ever did in his life. “You knew he was dangerous. Corey reported him for his homophobic posts on Facebook.”

“What ?” Louise asked, looking at his son.

Mason sighed.

“Garett, he… He posted jokes about what should be done to end the  _ gay crisis.  _ That’s how he called the situation at the school. A gay crisis. Corey saw it, and he showed it to Mrs Morell.”

The principal was looking at Mason, hesitation on her face.

“Are you sure he reported it ? I haven’t heard…”

“Positive. I know he did.”

“Mrs Morell would have…”

Jenna interrupted the older woman.

“Clearly, your teaching team is not up to date with the legislation. Even a joke, on whichever platform these kids are on, has to be considered as a dangerous sign. You should talk to this Mrs Morell. Or maybe I will.”

“We will.” Corrected Louise, her hand on Mason’s arm. “Let me tell you, you haven’t heard the end of it.”

Mrs Martin seemed to take her time to compose herself. Then, she talked again, slow, and more in control. 

“I will talk to Mrs Morell. But this is not the reason why we are here. I need to make a decision about Liam. And I will do so once both of you boys are out of here. So, before you go, do you have anything to say ?”

Mason turned to face Theo, and the same dark shadow he had earlier on seemed to fall on his face. 

“... No.” He only said, before standing up and taking his jacket. He took a few steps, and froze. Then he turned to face all of them, and looked at Liam one last time.

“I thought I knew you. I... “.

But he just shook his head, and left the room, closing the door carefully behind him. Louise looked dumbfounded, like she couldn’t believe her son hadn’t defended Liam like he would usually do. She looked at him, questions all over her face. Liam looked at his feet again.

“I have something to say.” Theo announced, and every eye was on him. He looked straight at the principal, his voice sure, but a little bit too fast. “Garrett attacked Corey. If Liam hadn’t intervene, Corey would have ended really hurt. Liam only tried to help. And yeah, maybe he was mad, but he stopped. I think it should matter.”

“From what I understand, you stopped him.” Mrs Martin commented.

“I couldn’t have stopped him if I tried. Maybe I helped, but he was the one who chose to stop. I’m sure of it.”

“Is it your final statement, Theo ?” The principal asked.

“Well, I still have a lot of things to say about the fact that you let a well-known homophobe run wild in this school, but I’m pretty sure it’s not what you are worried about.”

“Thank you.” Mrs Martin whispered. “You can go and wait outside. Mrs Hewitt…”

“If that’s okay with you, I’ll stay.” Mason’s mom announced, and Jenna offered her a thankful smile. “I know this boy like I know both of my own.”

“She does.” Jenna commented. 

“That’s fine with me.”

Theo stood up, and he pressed his mother's shoulder with a smile, before leaving the room in silence. Liam tried not to look at him, and instead, he chose to focus on the poster on the wall. 

“Liam ? Anything you would like to say ?” Mrs Martin finally asked.

“You don’t have to say anything sweetheart.” His mother interjected, but Liam sighed, and faced the principal. Her eyes were interested, and she seemed ready to listen to him.

“I am sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt him. I mean… I just wanted him to stop. But then, I got angry.”

“He has IED”, his mother said, to which Mrs Martin nodded. “I know about Liam’s condition. But it doesn’t excuse what he has done. That boy is in the hospital right now.”

“And I am sorry about that.” Liam added. “I wish I had stopped before. I am ready to accept the punishment you’ll give me.”

The principal looked at him for a long moment, clearly thinking about it. Then, she took a pen, and a piece of paper.

“I have to expel you. Temporarily.” She precised after Louise gasped. “One week. You will have homework to do, and an essay about how to defuse situations without using violence.”

Liam nodded. One week was not as bad as he had thought. It would be hard to come back, and to face everyone who would know about what he did to Garrett, but he deserved it.

“Also… You’re off the Lacrosse team.”

Liam opened his mouth, dumbfounded, but he had nothing to say to help his case. He felt his mother hand on his, and he focused on that contact. No more Lacrosse. No more getting out of school and blowing some steam. That was a hard one.

“You’ll also write an excuse letter for Garrett.”

“Will Garrett write an excuse letter to Corey ? And Mason ?” Louise snapped.

“Probably. I’ll see him when he is ready to come back. Also, Liam… I have to warn you. This is your last chance. If you ever do anything, to anyone… I’ll have to definitely expel you. And let me tell you that it wouldn’t look good on your college application.”

Liam nodded again, and Jenna finally asked “Can we go now ?”

“Yes. I’ll make sure the homework is sent to Liam’s school email. You will also receive an official letter with everything we have discussed.”

“Thank you for your time”, Louise said, way too sweetly. At least, Liam knew where Theo had learned how to mock people.

The three of them left the room, only to be faced with Theo and Mason. Both boys were sitting on the plastic chairs, Theo facing his brother, and Mason looking at the floor. Whatever conversation they had interrupted, Mason wasn’t having any of it. 

Theo turned to Liam, and then to his mother.

“So ?”

“One week. And no more Lacrosse.”

Theo flinched sympathetically, but Liam felt too dull to react. He looked at Mason.

“Can we talk ?” He asked his best friend.

“No.” Mason answered, his voice low.

Liam already hated himself for what he was about to do.

“Rule thirteen ?”

And at that, Mason turned to look at him, his anger visible on his face.

“How dare you…”

“We’ll let you boys talk this out. Come with us, Theo.” Louise quickly commented, taking Theo’s arm, and bringing him with her. “We’ll be waiting in the car.”

They left quickly, and Mason stood up from the poor chair he had been seating on.

“How long, Liam ? And don’t try to tell me you don’t know what I’m talking about, because I think you took me for a fool long enough.”

Liam closed his eyes, and considered his options. The truth was the only way to make things right, and he hated it.

“We kissed at the beginning of the year.”

Mason was outraged, his long arms flailing around him.

“Three fucking months ? You went behind my back and you… For three fucking months ?”

Liam flinched, but he nodded.

“I mean, it was not serious. We just… There were times…”

“Use your words, Liam.” Mason commented, mimicking Mrs Martin’s voice.

Liam signed, before sitting on one of the chairs. He looked right in front of him.

“I didn’t plan anything, Mase. It just kept happening. And in the beginning, I thought it would be better to keep it a secret, because it wasn’t going to happen anymore, but it kept happening, and then I had lied to you for too long…”

“So you thought, better keep lying to Mason ?”

“I knew you would be angry. Freaking rule number nine…”

And at that, Mason stopped in front of him.

“Do you really think I am angry because of a rule we made up years ago ?”

Liam looked at him, and he hated himself for what he saw in Mason’s eyes. He didn’t have to answer, and Mason was now almost shouting at him.

“I couldn’t care less about the rule, Liam ! But you lied to me. You betrayed me, and my trust. And you didn’t even come clean. No, I had to understand I had been played by seing my brother fucking kiss you in front of me. Do you know how much that hurts ?”

Liam was ready to beg, ready to cry again. But Mason didn’t give him a second to do so. He shook his head, arms crossed, and tone flat.

“I thought you were my best friend. My brother. I told you everything, Liam. Everything. And you ? This is fucking messed up. Don’t even try to contact me again. I don’t want to see your face. I don’t want to hear your voice. I don’t want to read your name. Just leave me alone, alright ?”

And he turned on his heels, leaving Liam alone with the pain, and the guilt. Between the suspension, his exclusion from the Team, and letting go of Theo… This, right there, having Mason walk away from him, this was what hurt the most. 

* * *

When Liam reached the parking, most cars were gone. The Hewitts were nowhere to be seen, not that he expected them to wait for him. He opened the door of his mother’s car, and sat quietly. The motor was already running, but she didn’t start driving. Instead, she looked at him for a long time.

“I feel like I should tell you that what you did is wrong.” She slowly said. “But I also know that… You had to do something. And that maybe, you lost control of the situation. Am I right about that ?”

Liam nodded, and finally looked at his mother. She seemed so tired, and so worried, that he had to give her a small smile. 

“Thanks mom.”

“Oh, Liam…”

She hugged him as well as she could, but being in the car wasn’t really comfortable. Still, Liam would have never refused the embrace. He could smell her perfume, and her hair was rendered messy by the number of times she apparently rushed her fingers through it.

“I love you so much. I was so worried when they called and told me you had been into a fight and that they had to call an ambulance…”

“I’m sorry, mom. I know I promised not to and then…”

“You’re allowed to make mistakes Liam. I never expected you not to. And I would never think my son would be able to see someone attacking one of his friends without reacting. I am not going to say I’m proud of you, but… I understand.”

“You’d done the same for Louise.” Liam quietly whispered against her.

“I probably would have killed that boy.” She admitted, in a small laugh.

And Liam couldn’t forget that the only thing that had kept him from it were two arms around his waist.


	5. I'm helpless

Home was lonely. Liam received the whole list of his homework, and started working the day after the incident. Without the texts from Mason, and from Theo, he went through the material pretty fast. He usually worked in the kitchen, or in the living room, and every time David was home, he came to make sure Liam was okay. He had been the one making sure he was not hurt, when they came back from the school, and since then, he bandaged Liam’s fingers everyday. He hadn’t said anything about the fight, but it was clear that he didn’t hold it over Liam. 

Mason’s absence was awful. Liam had never noticed before how much time he spent texting, or calling his best friend, and how often they were together. Between school, projects, video games and sleepovers, he had forgotten how lucky he was to have someone like Mason in his life. He found himself reaching for his phone several times, thinking about something funny, and wanting to share it. In the end, he left his phone in his bedroom, accepting of the fact that no one was going to reach out to him.

He was wrong.

On the third day, someone knocked on the door. When he went to open it, thinking it was probably the mailman, he was surprised to be faced with Corey. The junior had a big purple mark around his left eye, and a red one close to his mouth. 

“Hey Liam.”

“... Hi.”

It felt good to have someone his own age around. He offered Corey some soda, and they sat quietly on the sofa for a moment. Then, Corey finally talked.

“I don’t… I don’t exactly remember everything that happened. It went so fast. But I remember kissing Mason, and Garrett arriving. It was over before it even started. I was not ready… I remember the pain. And also thinking about Mason, and the fact that he was probably next. And then, it was over. I couldn’t open my eyes correctly, but I heard you fight. Mason was screaming your name. Do you remember that ?”

Liam shook his head. The idea that Mason had cared for him, at that moment, did hurt a lot. Corey smiled at him.

“You went pretty fast. I heard the noise your knuckles made against his face. I have to say… It felt satisfying. I knew you wouldn’t let him do anything to Mase. So I sat back for a while. But then, Mason tried to stop you, and you pushed him away.”

“I did ?” Liam asked, trying to remember.

“Yeah. That’s when I understood that something was not right. I didn’t know… I mean, Mrs Martin explained to my parents that you have some kind of disorder ? I’m sorry, I didn’t get everything, and I don’t really care…”

“IED. I have IED. It’s Intermittent Explosive Disorder. It’s like… Sometimes, the anger takes over.” Liam quickly said.

“Right. Well, you were out of it. And then Theo arrived, and he like... lifted you from Garrett’s body. You were trying to set yourself free. You sent your head into his face.”

“I don’t…”

“I figured you wouldn’t remember. That’s part of why I am here. I thought… If something like that were to happen to me, I would want to know.”

“Thank you”, Liam said, with a small smile. Corey nodded, before continuing.

“So Theo came, and he tried to calm you down. It took him a while, and people started coming, and screaming - sorry - at the sight of Garrett’s body. Theo basically kept you away until you started crying. And then I don’t know what happened, because a teacher came for me. That’s it.”

Liam took his time to digest all the information. He really had made a scene. People were probably talking about him, saying how crazy he was, how dangerous someone like him was. But at the same time, he felt better knowing exactly what happened when he lost his senses.

And then, it hit him. Corey was Mason’s boyfriend. Mason had probably confided in him. 

“Why… Why are you so nice to me ?” He asked the other teenager, who didn’t seem to understand. 

“Nice ?”

“You came all the way here to tell me what happened. You must know. You must know that I lied to Mason and…”

“Whatever happened between Mason and you is not my business. I didn’t come only to tell you all of that. I wanted to thank you Liam. I don’t care what they say about what you did. You probably saved my face, and maybe my life. I really wanted to thank you.” He repeated, offering his hand to Liam, very properly.

Liam shook it, and then, swallowed. He looked at Corey’s face, swollen up.

“How bad is it ?”

“My face ? Or Mason ?”

He didn’t answer, but Corey laughed a little. 

“I’m fine. No damages that couldn’t be undone. I look like a corpse, according to your best friend, but I don’t feel like it.”

“Good.” Liam could only say, as his throat had tightened up at the mention of being Mason’s _best friend._ “Good.”

Corey looked at him for quite a long time, and slowly, his smile faded. He looked at the TV, and then at the window.

“You know… I think Mason loves you a lot.”

“I am not sure about that right now.”

“Let me tell you something… When we started dating, I kind of hated how close the two of you were.”

Corey faced him again, with a small apologetic smile on his bruised lips.

“I mean, he was supposed to be my boyfriend, but he was still totally _yours._ It was kind of hard, in the beginning. I got used to it. And you took some distance. Obviously, now I know why, but at the time, I was relieved. But yeah, in the beginning, I kind of, not hated, but fear, your relationship.”

Corey’s face turned serious.

“Well… Right now, I would give anything for Mason to have that again. And clearly, you are in even worse shape than him. He can hide behind his anger. You can’t.”

Liam closed his eyes, thinking about how much Mason had been angry with him after the meeting. He had never seen his best friend like that before, so cold to him, and so… Unlike himself.

“I apologized, Corey.” Liam explained, slowly. “But he won’t accept it, and there is nothing I can do or say to make it better.”

“I know. I just thought you should know that he is feeling pretty bad. Maybe he isn’t ready yet, but he will be.”

“I hope so.” Liam whispered. 

Corey took a sip from his glass, before changing the subject.

“So. Theo....”

“Oh, god.” Liam felt the blood rush to his cheeks. It was weird, having people know what he had tried to keep a secret for so long. “I don’t really feel like talking about that.”

“I mean, you were pretty good. I thought you had a crush on him for a while but I would never have guessed that there were things happening there. I thought he was playing with you or something.”

“He kind of was.” Liam commented. “It was never anything serious, especially for him.”

Corey looked at him with wonder in his eyes, before shaking his head.

“Really, Liam ?”

“What ?”

“The guy sprinted when he heard Mason calling your name. And I am not even talking about how he held onto you for minutes. It seemed pretty serious to me.”

“We weren’t together. At that time. I’d already... “

But Corey interrupted him.

“I am not talking about the state of your relationship. I’m just saying, the way he reacted, and how he kept holding you, and trying to keep you from… That’s something.”

Liam didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to think about Theo’s arms, about his voice, his aftershave, and his words. About how right it had felt to hide against his chest. About how he had missed those lips, and those hands. Because every single time he did, he felt even more guilty. As long as Mason would be angry at him, he would try to keep his thought clear of Theo. 

Even if it meant having his heart broken up every single day.

* * *

Corey stayed for a while, talking about school, and what happened that day. He didn’t mention the Lacrosse team, probably well-aware of the fact that being excluded from it was still a thorn in Liam’s side. He was so easy-going, Liam didn’t have to make the conversation. 

He almost wanted to figure out a way to keep Corey there, for a few more hours, because after the start of their conversation, he didn’t mention the Hewitt’s boys, and Liam’s mind was free for the first time since all of this. 

But he let Corey go home - which was probably a lie as he knew the guy went to Mason’s almost every single evening, and he found himself alone in the house. Without thinking about it, he got closer to one of the consoles, where pictures of him were. In most of them, he was young, and oh god did he seemed happy. Mason was there too, a lot.

It made sense. They had spent their whole childhoods together, their mothers making sure they would become the best of friends. And it worked. Mason was the yin to his yang, and he didn’t know how to deal with his life without him. He had failed him, and it hurt.

He just hoped that Corey was right, and at one point, Mason would be able to forgive him.

* * *

“So… Christmas is coming.” Jenna said, as she was cleaning the table around Liam’s homework. He raised his head to acknowledge her, before going back to his equations. He was almost done with the homework he had been given, and he still had almost four days to kill. 

“It’s still a month away.”

“Twenty-one days.” She corrected, her voice joyful. His mother had always loved Christmas. “We’ll need to go buy a tree soon. I need to check with…”

And then, she stopped abruptly. But Liam felt his throat tighten up. _Louise._ She needed to check with Louise. The Hewitts and his family always chose their trees together. In the beginning, it had been because Mason and Liam wanted their trees to be _twins._ Neither of them wanted to have the smallest tree, and their mother had fun shopping together. It had become a tradition, spending the afternoon choosing the trees, and drinking hot chocolate together. 

This year, it probably would not happen. Jenna had seen Mason’s reaction, and Liam had no idea how much information Louise had, but he was pretty sure they wouldn’t go together, as a group. He knew neither Mason or Theo would want him around at that moment. 

Theo. He thought about the senior for a second. How he hadn’t seemed so angry after the fight. Corey was right, he has done what no one else could have. He had come when Mason had called Liam’s name, and he had stayed there. Liam didn’t remember exactly what Theo had told him during this moment. He just knew the words had been soothing. He remembered his hair being kissed, and Theo’s arms around him. He remembered how it had felt, having him again, even for a second. He remembered how he had hidden his face in Theo’s chest, and how the other boy had let him.

His mother was silent now, and she was chewing her lips, like she was keeping herself from saying anything. Liam felt guilty. He had never wanted to come between Louise and her. 

“How’s she ?” He asked, in a small voice.

His mother stood still for a second, before resuming to her cleaning, at the exact same spot she had scrubbed twice already.

“How’s who ?” She asked, her voice a little too light.

“Louise.”

Jenna stopped what she was doing, and let her hip rest against the counter. She looked at him, before answering in a slow voice.

“It’s hard. I can’t tell you anything, because I am pretty sure none of you boys would like us to gossip about it, but it’s really hard on her.”

“I’m sorry.” He answered, and it felt like it was the only thing he had been able to say for days. 

“I know.” His mother said, with a smile.

“You should have her over.” Liam offered. Jenna was about to counter him, but he insisted. “I’ll be fine. I can stay in my room so the both of you can have some time together. She is your best friend, mom. She needs you. And you need her. I… I know about that.”

His mother seemed moved for a second, and she kissed the top of his head. 

“That’s really nice of you, sweetheart. I’ll call her later.”

* * *

Liam hadn’t planned on spying on his mother and Louise’s discussion. Honestly, he had thought about hiding in his room, and making sure not to have to cross his best friend’s mother. But he had needed to go to the bathroom, and, contrary to the Hewitt’s house, they didn’t have one with every bedroom.

He had been in the hall, walking, when the voice had raised from the kitchen. And when he heard his name, he froze.

“How’s Liam ?” Louise asked, her voice tired.

“As okay as he can be in this situation. Doing his homework, helping with the chores. I honestly don’t know what to say to him.” His mother had answered.

“Yeah, I know the feeling…”

“How bad is it ?”

Louise laughed, her voice a little chipped.

“Do you mean Mason ? Or Theo ? Or the both of them ?”

Jenna didn’t answer, and Liam wasn’t able to see the look they exchanged, but Louise finally talked again.

“It is a real mess. As soon as we came home, Mason went to his room. I think Theo tried to go talk to him, but Mason wasn’t having any of it. He ignored the boy for two whole days.”

“That must have sucked.”

“Well, I thought it did, until he stopped ignoring him.” There was a pause. “He is… He is really angry at Theo. He told him a lot of things. Most of them, I didn’t really get, but… I mean… There are things that clearly needed to be talked about, and Theo didn’t talk about it. He lied to Mason.”

She seemed to hesitate.

“I’m sorry, Jenna. I… God I wish I could tell you what I’ve heard, but it’s not my place, and I don’t want you to hear it from me.”

There was a long silence, and the noise made by a chair against the floor. Then, Jenna asked, softly. “It was Theo, wasn’t it ?”

Louise didn’t answer, but Liam stopped breathing. How did his mother… He never brought Theo home when his parents were there. He always made sure, after the first time, that Theo parked on the other side of the street. They never went anywhere where they could have been seen. There was no way Jenna could have known.

“Don’t worry, Lou. I feel like I know what all of this is about. I have had my doubts for a long time. I think… I think Liam got involved with Theo. Am I right ?”

“Jenna…”

“You don’t need to tell me anything. But if Theo and Liam had a thing, then, they must have hidden it from Mason, because he was out of the loop so many times.”

“How do you know ?”

“I knew Liam was lying to him. I thought he had some new friends, and didn’t want Mason to feel bad, or ignored. But sometimes, Mason would say things, about Liam being grounded, or about us having a family day… And these things were not happening. I didn’t say anything. It was not my place to tell Mason anything. But I knew Liam was keeping things from Mason.”

“Oh, good god. I thought I was the only one who had noticed how weird they were acting. And I didn’t want to tell you anything, because you’re his mother, and I didn’t want to put myself between the two of you.”

“Don’t worry, I noticed. I also noticed Theo’s car passing by more often than usual. I noticed my son coming back from your house with a hickey, and trying to hide it. I thought maybe he was… Experimenting with Mason, and that would have been okay, but then I learnt about Corey and I knew I was missing something.”

“When… When were you sure ?”

“Three days ago. At the school. When your Theo defended my son. And when Mason became so angry at Liam. I knew this was not about the fight. And I could only imagine one thing that would make Mason so mad, not only at Liam, but at his own brother.”

Louise sighed so hard, that even Liam, who was now hiding in the stairs, heard it. 

“God, I’m so glad you know. I felt… I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone about this. I mean, Greg is great, but he doesn’t want us to intervene, and he doesn’t want to know. Mason is so pissed at Theo.” She was talking fast, like she had kept to herself for too long. “When he finally addressed him yesterday, I thought he was going to hit him. There were lots of things said, but mainly, Mason was angry at the lying, and convinced that Theo flirted with Liam, and that he is the one who is responsible for them having a thing. He told him that he could have had anyone, but that he had to choose the only person who was Mason’s. Theo tried to defend himself, but he couldn’t pretend he hadn’t been lying. And when Mason told him that he had basically abused his position to get to Liam, he got angry too. Theo… Theo doesn’t get angry a lot Jenna. But he told Mason to shut up, and called him a… a _fucking moron_ and some other things I’d prefer not to repeat. He stormed out the house, and spent the night at a friend’s.”

There was a long silence, and the noise of cups being taken from the table, and put back. 

“Liam was the one who broke up with Theo.” Louise finally said. “Did you know that ?”

“I had no idea.” Jenna answered, and she sounded actually surprised. “I would have thought the contrary actually. I know something happened between October and November, and I mean, I drew the conclusion there that he must have stopped seeing Theo but… Liam was bad. Even before the fight. He was really… Not there. So, after the fight at the school, and understanding that it must have been Theo, I thought… I thought Theo was the one who broke up with him.”

“I don’t think Theo lied about it. He told Mason that he had no rights to judge him, when he was the one who made up a stupid rule about Liam not dating him. He told him he was responsible for Liam breaking up with him, and Mason said something, I think it was _like you cared_ , and that’s when Theo got really mad and left.”

“Sweet Jesus.” Jenna only breathed out. “This whole thing is crazy.”

“It is.”

“And now, none of them are talking to each other ?”

“Nope. I made Theo promise he would come back home tonight, but Mason asked to be allowed not to eat with Theo until things are better. He was… He was really sad today. I think yesterday’s fight with his brother really made him realize that he wasn’t the only one hurting right now.”

Liam knew he should have felt bad about listening to the conversation, but it felt good to finally have some news. He hated the fact that Mason and Theo had thought, especially as he was the reason why.

This whole situation was a mess. And now, even their mothers were involved in it.

Liam needed to make things better.

* * *

Liam wondered about contacting Mason for almost a day, remembering how the boy had clearly stated that he didn’t want them Liam to talk to him anymore. Still. He didn’t want Mason blaming Theo for their relationship. 

Theo might have initiated it, but Liam was the one who came back, time after time. He thought about trying to explain it in a text, but decided against it. He needed to face Mason, and he was ready to wait for him to be okay with it. That still left Theo.

He knew he wouldn’t be able to talk to him, until he had made things right with Mason. Liam hopped it would not come too late.

The weekend came, and with it, the idea that Liam would have to go back to school on Monday. His parents didn’t talk about it, didn’t even mention the place. They just asked once if he had done the work, and if the letter was ready, which it was. It had been hard, pretending to care about the idiot he had punched, but he had sincerely regretted going so far. The letter was short, but it would suffice.

On Sunday evening, his mother gave him her car key. He looked at her, ready to ask why, but she had a sad smile on her face when she explained. “I think you will have to drive yourself to school tomorrow.”

_Oh._

That. That, right there. That was worse than being punched in the face.

* * *

If November had been an awful month at school, December was probably worse even in the first two hours. People were looking at Liam, and whispering things as he walked in the hallways. They didn’t even try to be discreet. Some people were sizing him up, and others made sure not to come too close to him. _I am not going to bite_ , he thought to himself, while carrying his books around. 

To make the matter worse, he passed Mason and his boyfriend in the hall. If Corey smiled at Liam, Mason made sure to stare at the wall. So, he was apparently still pissed.

Classes were almost easy, as he had worked for a week on the material. Still, he would have preferred having to focus in class. Teachers were mostly not paying him any attention, which was good. He learnt by listening to people’s gossip that Garrett was out of the hospital, and he felt relieved at the idea that whatever damage he had done, it was probably not permanent.

He dreaded his Economics class, as the Coach was teaching it, and he must have been pissed with Liam being the co captain and all, but the man only looked at him and muttered “What a waste” before explaining capitalism for the fourth time since the beginning of the semester.

When he came back home, and his mother asked him how he was, he just shrugged and went to take a shower. Then, he went to sleep without getting anything to eat.

He wasn’t hungry at all.

If life had been in sepia after his break-up with Theo, now, everything was grey. Walking alone, studying alone, people staring when he wasn't looking, their eyes following each one of his movements, he felt like an animal in an invisible cage. He tried to hide, as much as possible, but it didn't help the feeling of void that had taken over his chest. His parents were great, but he didn't feel like talking to them about what he was going through. He missed Mason, his easy laugh, and the way he always seemed to know what to say. He missed Theo, the way they could look at each other and just know, and the way his touch seemed to make Liam forget about the rest of the world.

But mostly, he missed the Liam who had reasons to smile, and laugh. He missed feeling understood, loving, and loved. He missed all the feelings that once had made his life a mess, when he had no idea how lucky he was.

Liam was alone, and lonely, and he had no idea how long he was going to grief what had been his life.

* * *

  
  


Liam was trying to focus on the Spanish lesson, when one of the teachers he didn’t have came knocking at the door and whispered something to Mr Jones. The man seemed intrigued, but he only looked at the students, probably looking for someone in particular. When his eyes ended up on Liam, he nodded.

“Dunbar. You are wanted at the principal’s office. Now.”

Liam’s blood started running cold in his veins. He had been so careful. He knew his presence here was hanging by a thread and he didn’t want to jeopardize anything. He was almost sure he didn’t make any mistakes, hurt anyone or say anything wrong. What could Mrs Martin want from him ?

He entered the office, as the door was already open. In front of the principal, the Coach was smiling, and he looked at Liam with interest.

“Please sit down, Liam.” Nathalie Martin offered, and he did as he was told. 

“You wanted to see me ?”

She nodded slowly. 

“I’ve had an interesting conversation with the Coach here. He thinks the punishment I gave you is not right. And I kind of agree with him. You’re not helping the school by being off the team.”

Liam felt his heart beating a little faster. He didn’t want to be excited for nothing, or to imagine something that wasn’t real. Still, he was hanging at Mrs Martin's lips.

“And your behavior has been spotless these last few days. So, we thought… We could let you go back to the team. In exchange, you’ll join the cleaning crew after every match to take care of the bleachers.” She seemed to look at his face, and asked “Is that okay with you ?”

And he wanted to scream, and run, and sing, because he was back in the team, and he would have Lacrosse again, and at least something was going right. But he tried to contain his excitement. Instead, he nodded slowly. “Yes. I got it. Thank you Mrs Martin.”

“Do not make me regret this, Liam.” She only said, before letting them go. Liam followed the Coach outside the office, and waited for the door to be closed, before he let himself smile at the news. 

“Thank you so much Coach ! I won’t let you down, I swear !”

The man shrugged.

“I didn’t do a lot. I mean, yes, I know how to talk to people to gain something and the principal would probably never refuse me anything, but you were lucky to have a friend who came to me and basically feed me the arguments I used. You got pretty smart friends Dunbar.”

Liam felt his breathing stopped. A friend. Who ?

“Was it Corey ?”

The Coach looked at him like he was crazy.

“Corey ? Are you kidding me ? I like the boy but he struggles to count past ten. Nah, t’was that friend of yours. Special friend from Corey. Not that I mind. Go gays !”

The Coach was about to leave him, and Liam wanted to be absolutely sure before he left.

“Do you mean… Mason Hewitt ?”

The Coach raised his eyes. “Of course I mean the young Hewitt. Is there another smart boy in your class ?”

Liam didn’t move, as the Coach kept on walking towards the gym. He didn’t move when the bell rang either, letting people walk around him. He was dumbfounded by what he had just learnt. Mason had been talking to the Coach. Mason went to see him, and had helped him prepare Liam’s defense. And they had won.  
  


Why would Mason do something like that ? Liam didn’t understand. His friend was ignoring him, not even daring to look at him. And now, he went above and beyond to make sure Liam could go back to the only thing, apart from his friendship with Mason, that had made his high-school experience bearable. Lacrosse.

He couldn’t wait to go back, to wear his jersey and play. That was great news. He wanted to text his mom about it, but decided against. She would be even happier if he told her in person.

Maybe, things were starting to get better.

* * *

It took Liam a few more days to gather the courage to text Mason. He wasn’t sure his best friend would welcome him in person, so he chose the easy way instead.

_Hi._ _  
__Can we talk ?_

He tried not to check his phone too often, but Mason did not answer right away. Instead, his text came just before Liam went to bed.

_Yes._

_Come to my house tomorrow after school_. 

Seing, finally, Mason’s name on his phone, made Liam’s heart miss a beat. It wasn’t even close to the tone Mason usually used with him, but Liam kept looking at the letter, and remembering that it was the first words Mason had actually addressed him since the accident.

It was something, at least.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Liam waited a long time in front of the door. It was hard to remember how he used to enter, without even knocking, considering this place his second home. He tried to chase the feeling away, and pushed the ringbell. He heard the music on the other side, and then, the steps coming his way. The person waited a few seconds too, before opening the door.

“Hey.” Liam whispered, almost out of breath, because, for the first time in two weeks, Mason was finally looking at him. He noticed the dark circles under his eyes, and how wary his face looked. The boy didn’t smile.

“Hey. Come in.”

He didn’t wait for Liam to follow him, taking the direction of the kitchen. Mason took glasses out from the big cupboard, and retrieved two cans of sodas from the fridge. He offered one to Liam, who thanked him in a small voice. 

They both opened the cans, and started filling up the glasses in silence. Then, Mason took a sip. He looked at Liam once more.

“So. You wanted to talk.”

It was hard, seeing Mason so cold, and having him treat Liam like a stranger. But the boy knew they needed to have this conversation, and he was ready for anything. He nodded.

“Yeah. I saw Mrs Martin and the Coach. I’m on the team again.”

Mason didn’t say anything, so Liam continued.

“I know… I know what you did. I just wanted to say thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Anything else ?”

And Liam didn’t expect Mason to actually be nice to him, but with what he had done, Liam had entertained the thought that maybe things would get better. Clearly, he had been wrong. He sighed, placing his glass on the table again.

“No, I guess. I just wanted to say thanks and…”

He looked at Mason’s face, and at his eyes, at how guarded he was. This was not the Mason he knew, and the one he had grown up with. And it was awful. He had never expected someone, especially himself, to do so much damage to the happy person Mason used to be. 

“I’m really sorry Mason.”, he breathed out. Something passed in Mason’s eyes, and he seemed to tighten his jaw. “I know it will never undo what I’ve done, but I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry. I’m sorry I lied to you, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I was an idiot. Still am, really.”

Mason couldn’t help the small smirk that appeared on his face, but he made it disappear almost immediately.

“Is that all ?”

“No, not really.” Liam said. “I miss you Mase. I miss my best friend. I miss talking to you, and laughing with you and… And I get why you’re angry. I just want you to know that I’m here, and ready to prove that I can be your best friend again.” He took a breath. He knew what he was going to do might anger Mason, but he had accepted that his fate was not in his own hands. “Also, I want you to know that Theo is not responsible for what happened. I was the one who went to him. And I was the one who asked him to keep it quiet. It sounds dumb now, but I just thought you would be so angry, and I was sure it was just a mistake, but then it kept happening, and it was already too late and…”

“And you were in love with him.” Mason said, as a matter of fact.

Liam didn’t answer. Instead, he blinked a few times. Mason seemed to deflate in front of him. He uncrossed his arms, and shrugged. “I still can’t believe you went behind my back for weeks.”

“Can’t believe it either”, Liam said, trying not to feel too hopeful. “I hated it, the hiding, and the lying. I wanted to share what I went through with you. I wanted to tell you about what we had done, and what I felt…”

“Let’s not forget we are talking about my brother. There are certain things I’d rather not think about.”

“Fair enough.” Liam smiled a little, hope starting to creep on him. 

“I’m still mad at you.” Mason said, his face less stern.

“You have every right to be.” Liam agreed, feeling his heart bursting at the idea that they were finally talking. 

“You bet I do. You shagged my brother.”

“We didn’t…” Liam said, before blushing. “Mase, I wish I could go back in time and then…”

“And then what ? You would tell me ?”

Liam sat on one of the high chairs, and played with his glass. 

“I would try not to get that detention. And I would not act on my crush.”

Mason mirrored his position, and drank a little bit of his soda.

“So, how long have you had a crush on my brother ?”

Liam shrugged. “I don’t really know. I just… Remember that day we spent at your pool, by the end of the summer ?”

“We spent half the summer at our pool.”

“Yeah, well, that day, Theo came to bother us, and he was… I mean… You know.”

Mason looked him right in the eyes.

“So, you found my brother hot. That’s okay.”

“It’s all over, though, Mason.” Liam commented. “I’m sorry it happened but it won’t anymore. We haven’t seen each other since the end of October.”

Mason sighed. “Yeah, I figured. I mean, I felt like something had changed, but I wouldn’t have imagined…”

“Yeah.” Liam said. “I ended it.”

“That’s what he told me.”

“He didn’t do anything wrong, Mase. I know you are angry at me, and that’s okay, but Theo…”

“Could the both of you stop trying to be martyrs ?” His best friend raised his eyebrows. “Seriously. He tried to convince me you were in pain the whole time because you were lying to me.”

“That’s kind of true. But he never wanted to lie to you. This, this is all my fault.”

Mason didn’t answer for a long time. He seemed to consider the idea. Then, he looked at his glass.

“It fucking hurt, Li. I felt betrayed. Not because he was my brother or because of some stupid rule, but because I told you everything. I’ve never kept a secret away from you. And I spent my time defending you, telling people, telling Corey how awesome you were. And then, I see you in my brother’s arms and I feel like an idiot.”

“I know.” Liam muttered.

“And I feel like shit, because I miss you too, and Corey kept telling me to call you, but I’m still a little mad.”

“You went to the Coach.”

Mason shrugged.

“You didn’t deserve to be kicked out of the team. I know how important Lacrosse is for you.”

“Thank you.”

“Also, you kind of saved my boyfriend. That has to count for something.”

“Yeah.”

There was a long silence, both boys exchanging a long look. And just like that, a small smile started to appear on both of their faces.

“I missed you man.” Liam said, standing up and going over to hug Mason, who accepted the embrace.

“I missed you too.” Mason admitted.

“Let’s never do that again.”

“Yeah.”

Liam hugged Mason longer than he ever did, letting his heart slowly get better with the idea that things could be mended. He knew Mason would hold a small grudge for a few more days, or maybe weeks, but he also knew that they could grow from that. He was ready to make all the efforts, and to be there for Mason as much as he could be. He wanted their friendship back so badly that he was ready to do about anything. Just like he had been able to let Theo go, just to stop lying to the younger Hewitt. 

When they stopped hugging each other, they exchanged a smile, and went to get their soda back, Mason started complaining about his French essay, and Liam about English. They didn’t talk about Theo. Not a word, not a mention. Nothing. Not yet.

Liam still didn’t forget how Mason had so easily talked about Liam being in love with his brother.

Love.

Had he been in love with Theo ? Probably. 

Was he still ? 

He would rather not think about it.

* * *

Things went almost back to normal as Mason was waiting for him in front of his house the next morning. They went to school together, and walked next to each other in the halls, Mason clearly glaring at anyone who would look at Liam for too long. Corey joined them almost immediately, his face still bruised, and he tried to entertain Liam as much as possible, giving him options not to pay attention to anyone else.

They talked about Lacrosse, and about how they could train together. They also talked about the Winter finals, and about how much work they still had to do. Corey was not a really good student, but with Mason helping him, he was hoping to succeed. Liam had never really taken the time to know Corey. He had never asked questions before, and all that he knew had been volunteered by Mason, or by other people. He learnt that Corey had two jobs, on top of the school. That his favorite superhero was the Flash, because he never had enough time to do everything he was supposed to do, and that he thought Batman could kick Superman’s ass. They argued about this one, Mason occasionally chiming in with his own ideas, but it felt good to have a sense of normalcy again.

Theo was nowhere to be seen, and he heard from Corey that he had called sick for the day. Right. Mason didn’t seem worried so Theo was probably nursing another hangover, or maybe he had caught a cold. 

Liam tried his best not to think about him. He did everything he could to be there, with his friends, and to learn new things. He had the sensation he was slowly waking up, after November, and the beginning of December. Obviously, things were still weird sometimes, especially as he couldn’t really talk about what he had spent most of his time doing, but they succeeded in having a normal day.

That night, when he came home, his mom hugged him.

“I’m glad you sorted things out with Mason.”

“How did you…”

“I saw his car this morning.”

Liam smiled, and kissed her cheek.

“Yeah. Mason is awesome.”

“What about Theo ?” Jenna asked, casually, as she turned to the fridge. Liam froze, remembering what he had heard of her discussion with Louise. She knew. At least, she knew some part of it. And Liam had chosen not to lie anymore.

He sat at the table, and waited for her to bring him a glass of water. Then, he played with it for a few seconds. 

“I don’t think Theo is ready to talk to me yet.”

Jenna nodded, smiling.

“But he might be one day.”

“I don’t know, mom. Things got… Pretty messed up. Between the three of us. I feel like I should give Mason and him some space to deal with it.”

“That’s really mature of you. You’ve really grown up, sweetie.”

She ruffled his hair, and seemed to want to leave the room, but she stopped near the door.

“Though… Remember Liam. Everything happens for a reason. There is no need to worry yourself over something that is already done. If it happened, then it should have. Better look to the future.”

_Everything happens for a reason._ How many times did his mother tell him so ? He couldn’t count them. Still. It had never made as much sense as right now. It was like a promise, like a comforting thought. Maybe she was right. Maybe all of this could help them move forward.

Still. It was hard to believe it. 

__

When Liam left Mason’s house on Friday, a little past midnight, with a smile on his face, he didn’t expect to find himself face to face with Theo. And, looking at the older guy’s round eyes, he wasn’t expecting Liam either.

“Fuck.” Theo stuttered, eyes wide. 

Liam froze, and didn't say a word. Theo’s face was flushed, his dress shirt crumbled, and he was wearing black pants that clearly were meant to make him look good.

“I was leaving.” Liam said quickly. But then, he smelt something weird. Something he was quick to recognize. “Have you been drinking ?”

“None of your business.” Theo muttered, a frown on his face.

Liam looked behind him, trying to find the truck.

“Did you drive yourself home ?”

“I’m not an idiot.” Theo said, like he was offended by the idea. “Went to the ‘Sinema’ with some friends. Scott brought me back. Not that it is any of your concern.”

Liam wanted nothing but to leave, and not have to face Theo, but there was something in his eyes, something he really didn’t like. It was odd, seeing him drunk, after all he had told Liam about the ‘Sinema’. He had never seen it like that before. And then, he remembered how Mason had mentioned that Theo had gone out more often, before the fight. He sighed, knowing he was probably going to regret it, but he couldn’t not ask the next question.

“Do you… Do you go out often ?”

“What the fuck is your problem now ?” Theo answered, huffing. “This is my house. This is my life. I didn’t give you any right to it.”

Liam felt a pang of hurt at those words, and a part of him was tempted to just leave. He didn’t want to fight, not after slowly getting Mason back. He also especially didn’t want to fight with Theo. But there was still a part of him who cared way too much about the older boy.

Theo was not okay. Theo hadn’t been okay for a while, and Liam wanted to help. So, he didn’t move from where he stood, between the door, and Theo. 

“I’m just… Do you want to talk ?”

And immediately after asking the question, Liam felt like an idiot. He was the one who had told Theo to take his distances. He was the one responsible for their falling out. And Theo probably remembered it, because an angry smirk blossomed on his face.

“Seriously, Liam ? Do I want to talk ?”

His speech was a little slurred, but he seemed altert enough to remember what had happened.

“Do I want to talk.. Let me think about it… No. I don’t want to. Especially not to you.”

“That’s fair.” Liam said.

“That's fair”, Theo mimicked. “Yes, it’s fair. You don’t get to come back after weeks of ignoring me, and then pretend that you care.”

“But I care.” Liam interjected. “I care, Theo.”

“Do. Not. Say. My. Name.” 

His voice was low, and he seemed so tense, that Liam had to take a step back. He had no idea how to deal with this Theo, the one who was angry at him. He never had to, before.

“Sorry. I guess I should go.”

“That’s all you’re good at.”

And that ? That was a low blow, which made Liam winced, like the pain was physical. It didn’t feel like Theo was angry at him because of his freud with Mason. No, it was a reference to them, to what they had been, and to who he had dealt with the situation.

“I had no choice…”

“Fuck this. And fuck you.” Theo said, his voice loud now. “I don’t want to hear it. You don’t get to pretend you didn’t get a choice. You chose all the way. Every single time, you chose me. And then, you changed your mind, and you didn’t even… God. I think I hate you.”

Theo was loud, and Liam looked behind his shoulder to make sure no one was listening to them. It was easier to extract himself emotionally from the situation, because those words ? Those words hurt. It wasn’t the surprise, steering Theo, or a new found anger, like when he had told him all those things at the Preserve. No, it was weeks of unsaid things, of hidden feelings. And maybe Liam deserved to be hurt by it, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to face the truth.

“You hate me.” He finally said. “Yeah, I can see why.”

That seemed to anger Theo even more.

“No, you don’t. You act like you know everything Liam. Everything about me, or how I feel. But you know what ? You have no idea. You had no idea. You never let me… You just brush things away. So, please, stop acting like you have a fucking idea what I’m going through.”

“I know you fought with Mason.” Liam said. 

“Yeah, alright. That’s on you, but that’s on me too. I should never have agreed to lie to him. But I did it, and even if I regret it, I can’t say I didn’t know what I was doing.”

“I made you lie.”

“You gave me a choice. A choice between lying while having you, or being honest alone. I made my peace with my choice a long time ago.”

Now, Theo sounded just as tired as Liam felt.

“But you still hate me.” Liam whispered.

And Theo looked at the night sky, breathing in the cold fresh air of December. He swallowed, and Liam couldn’t look anywhere but at his neck. He knew exactly how the skin felt, how it had been soft under his fingers and his lips. He knew he could never forget what it felt like, being able to touch him, to be with him, and just to love him. And when Theo looked at him again, all anger seemed to fade from his face, almost if, like Liam, he had lost himself in the memories of what they had been. He looked like a lost kid, like someone who didn’t know where to go from it. Liam had to refrain from reaching for him.

“I don’t hate you.” Theo finally whispered, his eyes bleary. “I hate a lot of things right now, but I don’t hate you Liam.”

They stayed like that, in silence, for what felt like ages, until Theo whispered.

“I tried to hate you, and I tried so hard. But I can’t. I hate what you did to me. I hate that I trusted you, yeah, I hate myself for it. I hate that I thought… That I left myself think… But mostly, it’s myself that I hate.”

He looked at Liam again, before sighing.

“Now, can I go hide in my room ?”

Liam didn’t answer, just stepping aside. He looked at Theo, until the door closed between them. He thought about what the senior had just said. About him, choosing, every single time. And maybe Theo was right, maybe Liam was the one who wanted this, who tried to make it work. He knew he had been wrong to hide it from Mason, but he also remembered how he couldn’t help it.

And a piece of his heart was still hanging, by a thread. He slowly started to understand that things could never go back to the way they had been. Not with Theo. And if they were both to blame for it, Liam also knew that he was the main culprit.

He started walking to his car, still thinking. Mason had been right when he had told him that he was in love with Theo. Liam couldn’t pretend he hadn’t been. And the fact that just seeing him, just talking to him, made his stomach twist might be a sign that he was far away from forgetting about it.

He sat in the car, as memories of their hidden happiness started flooding his mind. He remembered how it had felt, being with Theo, and walking in the preserve. How he had spent hours in his room, watching movies, and kissing.

But most of all, he remembered every single time Theo had handled him like he was a precious thing, kissing his hair, or taking his hand, and the memory of the fight came back to him. 

They hadn’t been talking for a month. And Theo still came. Theo still ran to him, and kept him from making a mistake. He had kept him against him, he had said those things, and maybe he didn’t think them, but he had tried to calm Liam down. He had let Liam hide against him. He had wiped his tears away. 

Liam had decided to end things with Theo, and Theo still came running when he needed him the most. It didn’t make sense. At that time, he had been pretty much convinced Theo was over their relationship. After all, wasn’t he spending all his time with his friends ? 

How did Liam know ?

Oh. Mason.

Mason, who had been fooled by their whereabouts so many times. Mason who thought Theo had hookups with multiple people when, in fact, he was spending time with Liam. 

The fact that Mason might not have been the most reliable source slowly creeped into Liam’s mind. Could it be… Could it be that Theo had actually had feelings for him ?

He remembered how broken Theo had been, when Liam had decided to end things. 

How could he not see it ?

If Theo did really feel something … If Theo had felt the same thing that Liam did… Then, yeah, Theo had every right to hate him for it.

So why wouldn’t he ?

* * *

“Your mom should be there in a few minutes” Louise told Liam as he was writing the answer to the last question on his English quizz, seated at the massive living room table. In front of him, Mason was trying to memorize his Spanish vocabulary. They had agreed on working together until Jenna would be free to join them to finally go buy the Christmas trees.

“Thanks.” Liam said, as she set a plate of cookies between the two students. “Is… Is Theo coming ?”

Mason didn’t raise his head, but Liam knew he was listening, because he stopped trying to articulate the words in front of him. Louise offered him a small sad smile.

“I don’t think so. I told him we were, but he didn’t feel like joining.”

She looked at the window, pensive. Then, she left the room, and Liam heard her going up the stairs. He went back to his paper, decided to proofread it, but he was interrupted by a sigh. In front of him, Mason sat upright, and crossed his arms. He looked at Liam, and once again, the boy could see his best-friend’s mind at work. Whatever he was thinking about, he was weighing the pros, and the cons, and wasn’t sure of the outcome. Liam didn’t try to speak. When he was thinking, Mason needed calm to come to his own conclusion.

“You should go talk to him.” The younger Hewitt finally said. 

Liam frowned. “Hm, what ?”

Mason raised his eyes, but a small smile lightened his face.

“My dumbass brother. Theo. You should go talk to him.”

Liam tried to ignore the way his heart was trying to beat out of his chest. He had carefully avoided any conversation about Theo with Mason. He didn’t understand why now, his best friend was trying to put the subject on the table.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea”, Liam said slowly, playing with his pen. “I’m pretty sure he is angry at me.”

Mason looked at him, before a small laugh escaped his lips.

“I think I’m starting to get why the both of you found each other.” Then, he started getting serious again. “He is miserable. Seriously. He walks around like a ghost. I’m starting to worry.”

“Maybe if you guys talked…” Liam started, but Mason sighed again, aggravated.

“It didn’t start after our fight, Liam. He was miserable before. Clearly, the fact that I am still fed up with him doesn’t help, but I’m a hundred percent sure I’m not the only reason he is moping around.”

Liam looked at his paper, trying to avoid Mason’s eyes. But his best friend was hard to ignore. Still, he was doing his best, and the fact that Mason was just as thickheaded as him was, for once, not a good thing. Liam kept his eyes on the letters, but Mason sighed again.

“Look… I didn’t mean to, but… You know I don’t talk to him, so I didn’t know how to ask for the book he had borrowed back. So… I went to his room.”

Mason sounded hesitant, and Liam didn’t have any choice but to look into his eyes. His best friend sounded guilty, and he started talking faster.

“I didn’t mean to see anything. I wasn’t snooping around. But his dressing was open, and I saw the pictures and…”

“What pictures ?” Liam asked, dumbfounded, and Mason seemed to hesitate.

“Pictures. Of places. Of people. Mom. Me. You. And drawings too. It’s against the door, hidden... Well except when he forgets to close it.”

“Drawings ?”

Mason didn’t say anything for a second, before he whispered “He drew you, Liam.”

And if Liam had never had a chance to see Theo’s art, he was pretty sure normal people didn’t react this way when they learnt they had been drawn. His heart was beating like crazy, and he was so close to just running to Theo’s room, to see that.

“It’s not only the pictures, and the drawings. God, how do I put this ? I think Theo likes Hamilton more than he said.”

The memory of Theo offering Liam to put on the soundtrack popped into his head. “Why do you say that ?”

“The lyrics. He put some of the lyrics on the pictures. And I… I can’t really be upset about this, because it clearly meant a lot to him. I don’t understand everything, but it’s pretty clear he wanted to remember things.”

Liam didn’t answer. He tried to hide his shaking hands under the table. Knowing that Theo had really been into this, into them, did change a lot of things. And having Mason be okay with them being a thing, was even better.

“Go talk to him. Figure things out.”

“He doesn’t want to talk to me.” Liam whispered, but he felt a shiver of hope. 

“Make him listen.”

Mason closed his book. “I know my brother. I’ve seen him through the worse, and the best. I… I love Theo. And even if I want him to understand how betrayed I felt, I don’t want him to be unhappy. Quite the contrary.”

“And you think that a conversation with me is going to lighten his mood ? Let me tell you, Mase…”

“I think he loves you.”

That stopped Liam right in his tracks. His neck snapped, as he turned to look at Mason, whose face was so serious that he couldn’t even glance away.

“And I think you love him too.”

At that, Liam looked away for a second, his cheeks flushed. It felt peculiar, having Mason say those words, even if Liam had started to accept the idea. 

“I don’t know…”

“He is by the pool. I saw him when I went to the bathroom. Probably sketching again. Go.”

Mason smiled at him, and Liam gulped. He hadn’t had time to prepare himself. He didn’t even know what to tell Theo. He didn’t even know if Theo wanted to talk to him. It would probably be a disaster. But Mason seemed so confident, and Liam was trying his best to get his best friend back. So, he slowly stood up, and left his things on the table.

“Go make my brother a little happier, Li.”

* * *

Theo was, indeed, near the pool. As the water was heated during the long winter months, the steam coming from it was blurring the view, but the senior was seated on the ground, a plank of wood on his thighs, a piece of white paper in front of him, and a pen in his hand. 

Liam took his time walking to him, but Theo seemingly heard his steps, as he looked up to see who was coming his way. Liam didn’t miss the way his shoulders seemed to tense, but Theo didn’t move. He focused even harder on his drawing.

Liam didn’t know what to say. So, instead, he sat next to him, leaving a good distance between them. He looked at Beacon Hills landscape, and wondered for a second how many people were currently nursing a broken heart. Maybe those were more frequent than he thought.

“I remember the first time you came with us to buy the tree.” He finally said to Theo, without looking at him. He wasn’t surprised to not get any reaction. “You were ten, and the accident had happened a year before. I didn’t really know about it. You were in such a sour mood. Nothing seemed to make you happy. And then, Louise ordered three hot chocolates for us. The vendor asked if any of us were hers, and she just said yes. He asked how many, and she said two. Then, Mason introduced you as his brother. Do you remember the face of the guy ?”

Liam looked at Theo, and didn’t miss the small smile at the corner of his lips. Good.

“I think that was the first time. We had a lot of fun with it, through the years. But yeah, I remember that one because of how he looked at Louise, at Mason and at you. I think it was also the first time I realized you were Mason’s brother now.”

He stood silent for a bit, before continuing. “I kind of hated the fact that Mason wasn’t an only child anymore. For a bit. I thought he would only play with you, and that he wouldn’t want to spend time with me.”

Theo kept on scratching the white paper next to him, but he seemed a little bit more relaxed.

“I never asked. You never told me. Before that day, at the preserve. I’m just wondering… Why did you ?”

Theo stopped drawing, but he didn’t answer. So, Liam faced him, still sitting .

“There are so many questions I never asked. Maybe because I was afraid of the answers.”

Theo sighed. He closed his pen.

“What do you want, Liam ?”

_You._ He wanted to answer. _Just you._ But he knew he couldn’t say those words. Not yet.

“I just want you to be okay.”

“It’s a little late for that.” Theo breathed out, still looking at his drawing.

Liam winced. “I know. But I can still try.”

“No need to.”

“I want to.”

“Could you stop ?” Theo asked, his voice louder. “Seriously, Liam. You’re not helping. I need time, and I need to be alone.”

“You had time, and you were alone. How much good did it do to you ?”

Theo didn’t answer, but he started standing up. Liam mirrored his move.

“Theo. Please.”

“Do you really want to help, Liam ?” Theo asked, his voice low.

“Yes.” He whispered back.

And then, Theo finally looked him in the eyes, his face tense and guarded.

“Just go. Make Mason happy. Have a great day with Louise.”

“I don’t want to.” Liam answered, taking a step towards Theo. “I don’t want to go. I want to be with you.”

Theo winced. “Do not say these words. Not to me.”

“What if it’s true ?”

“I’m not a toy that you can use, and then throw away, Liam. I know how little you think of me, but still. I deserve better than you using me to feel better about yourself.”

“You think that’s what I’m doing ?”

“Why else would you try to convince me to come ?”

Liam moved his hands between them. 

“I’m not trying to convince you… God, Theo. I didn’t come to make you do anything. I came because I can’t stay away when you look like that. When you act like that.”

“And how do I act ?” Theo asked, his voice dangerous.

“Like someone who has nothing to lose. Like someone who has already accepted that his life is going to be miserable until the very day of his death. You’re not even fighting.”

“And why would I fight ? Tell me, Liam. What am I supposed to fight ? The fact that I made a mess of my relationship with my brother ? Or the fact that I’ve fallen…” Theo stopped right there, and his face went to angry, to afraid. 

Liam took a step closer to him. He tried to find the strength, but it felt like having to jump in a hole he didn’t know the depth of, like taking a chance, when everything had gone wrong these last months. Theo was not the only one who was terrified, after all. 

So, instead of finally being able to tell him, he looked at his shoes.

“Why did you come ?”

He didn’t get an answer, so he continued. “Why did you come when Mason called my name ?”

A long silence answered him. He didn’t dare look at Theo. He was almost sure the other boy was going to run, far away from him and from his questions. He was taken by surprise when Theo’s voice rose, in front of him.

“For the same reason I got that detention. For the same reason I brought you to the preserve, and for the same reason I told you everything. Fuck, Liam. Are you going to make me say it ?”

And it was unfair, because Theo deserved better than being forced to confess anything. He deserved to be the one being told the nicest things, and being taken care of. Liam wanted to be the person who would make him happy. 

  
So, he tried to gather his courage, and in a breath, handed his heart to Theo.

“I’m… I’m in love with you.”

He couldn’t look at Theo. He couldn’t even believe he had said those words. But finally saying them, admitting to the senior as much as himself how he felt, was liberating. He found a new strength in it, and he kept on talking.

“I’ve been in love with you since… Since somewhere between that kiss in the rain and the time you came to get me from the Sinema. And I’m sorry… I’m not good at this. It scared me. When I finally understood it, it scared me, so I decided we had to end it all, and I shouldn't have. I shouldn’t have, and we should have talked, and we would have found a solution, but I’m an idiot” Liam felt the words leave his lips faster and faster, his eyes still fixed on the ground. “I’m an idiot, and I was in love with you and I thought you didn’t really care about me, so I just…”

“You’re an idiot.” Theo agreed, and Liam could hear he was getting closer. “You’re thick headed, you have a very concerning taste in music, you laugh too loud, you can’t remember birthdays for shit. You do things without thinking of the consequences, and then, you get all in your head. I’m pretty sure you’re already regretting what you said right now.” Theo took a breath. “That’s how well I know you Liam. I know that you hate coffee, but you like the smell of it because your dad drinks it every morning. I know that you’re always cold, but you refuse to wear a jacket, because you prefer hoodies. I know that you’re bad at orientation, but that you always remember things like trees, and … And I know I’m completely helpless when it comes to you.”

Liam finally raised his eyes, only to meet a green sea of incertitude, and care. Theo offered him his hand, and Liam took it, lacing their fingers. He could feel his heart beating in his chest, so fast that he was probably going to die from it, but Theo was smiling at him, a little sad, but mostly concerned.

“I’m utterly and completely helpless when it comes to you.”

That was probably the closest he would get to an _I love you._

  
Screw that. This was better than a love confession.

“Helpless…” Liam whispered, with a small smile. “Did you really use a Hamilton…”

He didn’t get to the end of his sentence, and thank god for it, because Theo was kissing him, and for the first time in ages, he felt like he was home.

.

(links to the polaroids after the epilogue)


	6. Epilogue

“This one looks like a truck has run it over. Twice.” Theo said, looking doubtful, as Mason was circling one of the trees.

“It is great.” Liam countered, smiling against his shoulder, as the cold wind ruffled his hair.

“It looks almost like the one we saw before.” Mason explained, while looking at the space between two of the branches, like he was making the decision of a lifetime.

“Which one ? I feel like this is the forty-fifth one you have been ogling.”

“Nobody appreciates my pine expertise.” Mason sighed, but a playful smile rested on his face, and there was no heat in his words.

“I do !” Interjected Liam. Theo looked at him, his arm still around the junior’s shoulders. 

“Are you siding with my brother ? Seriously ? I’m shook.” He pretended to hold his hand against his heart, and Liam raised his eyes to the sky, smiling.

“Stop being a drama queen.” He kissed Theo’s cheek soundly, and the both of them smiled at each other.

“Ugh. Am I going to have to endure this tooth rotting stuff all the time now ?” Mason pouted, looking at them between the branches. “I didn’t sign up for this.”

“Neither did I.” Theo answered. “You’re the one who decided to make up a rule about dating me to the one person who is bad at following rules.”

“Unfair.” Mason stated, before bringing back his attention to the Christmas tree. “Yeah, I think this one will do. With the other one. You know which one Liam. Go make yourself useful. I have seen enough of this”, he gestured at the two boys, “For a lifetime.”

“Yeah. I’ll go get it.” Liam said, and he left Theo, his hand lingering on his waist until the last moment. He walked towards the tree that was almost the perfect replica to the one Mason had just found. He smiled, as he saw his mother and Louise a few meters away. “I think we found our victors !”

His mother smiled back at him, before whispering to Louise, something that made the Hewitt's mother laugh. Liam wondered what it was, but he didn’t really care. He felt happy, happier than he had ever felt. He gestured for the salesman to come over, but before he was there, two arms sneaked up around his waist.

“Hey there.”

Liam closed his eyes for a second, trying to contain the emotions that were whirling inside him. Contentment. Satisfaction. Love. It was too much, and at the same time, he couldn’t get enough of it.

“Hey.” He answered, feeling Theo’s chin settle on his shoulder.

“So, we’ve got the trees.”

“Yeah.”

“How long until we can go back to my room ?”

Liam managed to hit Theo’s arm, and he heard his laugh in the air. 

“We still need to get hot chocolate.” Liam commented, but he agreed to Theo’s return against his back, and let some of his weight press against the slightly taller guy.

“What if I don’t like hot chocolate ?” 

“You liar. You finished mine last year.”

The salesman got to them, and Liam quickly gestured to the tree. His mother approached to pay, and he turned to face Theo.

“So… Do you want to come to dinner ? I mean, aren’t you supposed to meet my parents at some point ?”

Theo laughed at that, before turning to Jenna.

“Jenna ?” 

“Yes ?”

“Do you want me to officially come by and ask for the authorization to take your son out ?”

Jenna laughed too, their happiness clearly contagious, and looked at the both of them, a smile on her face.

“You know you’re welcome to come by as often as you want Theo. But I’m pretty sure you didn’t wait for my approval to take this one out.”

“Fair enough.” Theo said with a smile. Then, he looked at Liam. “See ? Your mother loves me.”

“She does not. She probably thinks you are a terrible person who…” But Theo didn’t let him finish, kissing him softly on the lips. When he put some distance between them, Liam felt his cheek flushing. “That’s not going to work every time, you know ?”

“Yeah, I know.” Theo answered, his eyes shining bright. There was no storm anymore, just a calm green sea that seemed to be the harbor of Liam’s soul. “I can still try, though. Again, and again, and again…”

“God, can the two of you stop ?” Mason complained, as another salesman was following him with the second tree. “Seriously, you need to keep the PDA down.”

“Sorry.” Liam said, wincing. 

Mason looked at him, like he was aggravated.

“I should have never told you to go see him.”

“It would have happened either way,” Liam said. “Now, you get to be the one who take all the credit for it.”

Mason pretended to sigh, and he walked to his brother, and punched him in the arm.

“Good luck with that one. You’re going to need it.”

Theo looked at his brother, and a bright smile broke on his face. They exchanged a look, a long look, and he let go of Liam. Slowly, Theo crossed the few meters between Mason and him, and opened his arms, waiting for his brother’s reaction. Mason kept a straight face for a second, before grinning, and accepting the hug. Liam looked at the brothers, and at Theo who was whispering something to Mason’s ear, making the boy laugh. 

“Things are good, aren’t they ?” Jenna said, her arm finding his way around Liam's shoulders, as Louise walked to stand next to them looking at her sons.

Everything wasn’t perfect. and they still had tons of things to discuss. He knew there would be ups and downs, that they would fight and make up at least a dozen times. But Liam wasn't afraid. As Theo looked above Mason’s shoulder, to meet his eyes, his boyfriend smiled.

“Yeah. Things are pretty great.”

It would have been the perfect moment, if Mason hadn’t added “And now, you both have to kiss my ass.”

“Mason !” His mother said, containing her laugh. “Language !”

Theo let go of his brother, only to frown. 

“And why would we do that ?”

Mason’s had never seemed as satisfied as he looked, a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Because only one of you gets to have me as his best man, and I’m entitled to have you fight to the death for it ?”

There was a silence, before everyone started laughing. Liam felt small, happy tears, at the corner of his eyes. He still had his parents. He still had Mason, and Louise.

And now, he had Theo.

It was going to be the best Christmas ever. 

* * *

**Nine months later.**

Everything happens for a reason, Liam’s mother often told him. Nothing is a coincidence. Things happen because the world wants you to experience its glory.

Liam was starting to think it was true.

-

Liam was sunbathing, laying on the ground of the Hewitts’ house, as the summer sun was starting to warm his skin. After a whole year of adventures, secrets, pain, making up, rumors, and stories, he was glad the holidays had finally arrived. 

Next to him, Mason was on one of the long chairs, reading a book that Corey had offered him, about mythological creatures. As always, his best friend was engrossed in the text, and Liam smiled at that. It was good to see Mason focus on something else than homework, after all. 

Liam’s thoughts about literature were interrupted by the noise of someone running, and then, by the effect of a million of small drops of cold water against his skin. He rose up, letting a small surprise shout escape him, and he looked for the perpetrator of this awful act.

A few meters from him, standing in the large and beautiful pool, Theo Raeken was smirking. 

“You look way too hot, Dunbar.”

“Fuck you, Raeken.”

Theo laughed, his throat vibrating, and Liam couldn’t help but smile.

“I was trying to get some rest, you dickhead. I’m tired.”

Theo swam to the side of the pool, still looking at him.

“And whose fault is that ?”

“My boyfriend’s.” Liam answered in a heartbeat. “He wouldn’t let me sleep last night.”

“TMI, guys”, Mason commented, while turning a page. 

“He wouldn’t let me go to sleep before beating me at Mario Kart”, Liam sighed, while laying down again. “Rainbow Road is my new personal nightmare. Your brother is _non-stop_ , Mason.”

And at that Mason grinned. 

“It’s been a year Liam. When are you going to drop the Hamilton lines ?”

Liam smiled, and looked at Theo, who was raising himself out of the pool. “Never.” He whispered, as he took his time appreciating Theo’s body. It was different now. He had spent time mapping every inch, every curve, and every angle of Theo’s body, but he still couldn’t believe, sometimes, that this boy was his. And not just his body. His whole self, with his laughs, and his doubts, his history and his dreams. Theo walked towards him, and waited to be next to Liam to shake his head, the droplets of water falling right on Liam’s warm body.

The younger man opened his mouth, as Theo grinned.

“You’re dead.” He only said, before rolling and standing up. Theo started running, and Liam followed him, making leaps around the pool.

“Hey there !” Corey shouted, while avoiding them, as he appeared by the pool door. He looked at the two boys running, and then smiled at Maon. “Shift ended earlier.”

“Thank god you’re here”, Mason said, while sitting on his long chair. “These two are going to be the death of…”

He was interrupted by the splashing of two bodies hitting the water, as Liam had finally gotten a hold on Theo, and the newly graduated guy had sent both their bodies in the pool. Liam arose first, and he splashed Theo with the back of his hand.

“I wanted to enjoy the sun, you bastard.”

Theo smiled, coming closer, his arms forming a cage around his boyfriend’s body, and he kissed Liam with fervor. The younger man brought his hands into Theo’s neck, and let himself be entranced in the moment.

Mason said something, and Theo answered by showing him the finger, but when the kiss ended, he only had eyes for Liam.

“Can’t believe I get to kiss the hot guy next to the pool this year.”

“Can’t believe I get to kiss the hot guy in the pool this year.”

Theo smiled at that, before returning to kissing him senseless, both their bodies lightened by the water.

They didn’t see Mason smiling at them, and Corey looking at Mason like he was the most precious thing in the world.

They didn’t see the two women, looking at them from the kitchen windows, a glass of wine in their hands, and a satisfied smile on both their faces. 

No, they didn’t see anything else, than each other. And that was okay. Because, in the end, everything they had gone through had led to this moment. 

Everything happens for a reason, Liam’s mother often told him. Nothing is a coincidence. 

Kissing Theo, under the summer sun, next to his best friend and their families… How lucky was he to have all of this ? 

Did they fight often ? Hell yeah. Did they get angry sometimes, and yell at each other ? It happened. Did they always end up regretting it ? Indeed. It didn’t matter how many times Liam would storm away from Theo’s room, or how many times Theo would give him the cold shoulder.

Liam knew, like an absolute truth, that this, them, was meant to be.

Yeah, Liam didn’t believe in coincidences anymore.

* * *

THE ART

Links to the polaroids, the drawings, and all the amazing things Manon did : 

Title <https://manonisamelon.tumblr.com/post/634701028387897344/for-the-officialthiamlibrary-2020-big-bang>

Poster <https://manonisamelon.tumblr.com/post/634701055252463616/for-the-officialthiamlibrary-2020-big-bang>

Tara & liam drawing <https://manonisamelon.tumblr.com/post/634701088151552001/for-the-officialthiamlibrary-2020-big-bang>

The door <https://manonisamelon.tumblr.com/post/634701143040212992/for-the-officialthiamlibrary-2020-big-bang>

Polaroid 1 <https://manonisamelon.tumblr.com/post/634701173359837185/for-the-officialthiamlibrary-2020-big-bang>

Polaroid 2 <https://manonisamelon.tumblr.com/post/634701185168949248/for-the-officialthiamlibrary-2020-big-bang>

Polaroid 3 <https://manonisamelon.tumblr.com/post/634701207527636992/for-the-officialthiamlibrary-2020-big-bang>

Liam drawing <https://manonisamelon.tumblr.com/post/634701242710605824/for-the-officialthiamlibrary-2020-big-bang>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we are. It's all over.  
> Please check out Manon's art, and all the polaroids, with all the quotes from Hamilton. They are super awesome !  
> It feels weird to say goodbye to this one, but it's been fun. Real fun !
> 
> A last thank you to everyone who made this possible. This story is so very special to my heart, and I hope you found some happiness in it.  
> Take care,  
> M.


End file.
